Monologue: A Friend of Dorothy's.

the monday monologue

Few movies are as delightful as Howard Hawks' Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953). It has everything: clever production numbers, great quips, beautiful stars, and a zippy plot. But mostly the film sparkles just by ogling the twin pleasures of Jane Russell & Marilyn Monroe. Russell and Monroe play best friends and musical partners, wisecracking Dorothy Shaw and golddigging Lorelei Lei, respectfully. One of the best sequences plays like an extended joke on the movie itself, riffing on both the musical numbers and the two star personae that director Howard Hawks has so expertly shined up for the audience.

Jane as Jane | Jane as Marilyn

Toward the end of the film, there's a misunderstanding over jewelry that gets Lorelei (Monroe) in hot water. A tiara has reportedly been stolen and everyone thinks Lorelei is the culprit. Well, her eyes do flash at the mention of diamonds. Dorothy (Russell) attempts to buy her friend some time by impersonating her at a court hearing about the absent jewelry.

At first Dorothy isn't sure she's sold the Lorelei illusion. Jane fusses comically at her blonde wig, over selling the Monroeisms for the back row. The next time she's worried that the illusion is breaking she razzles and dazzles the courtroom to utter distraction with a coarser version of the number we just saw the real Lorelei perform "Diamonds Are a Girl Best Friend."

Just when it seems clear that Dorothy's (and therefore Jane's) approximation of Lorelei's (and therefore Marilyn's) 's breathless 'who me?' dumb blonde act has worked its trick, Dorothy's new boyfriend Ernie Malone (Elliot Reid) charges into the courtroom threatening to give the game away. Dorothy as "Lorelei" acts quickly to protect Lorelei and regain control of "Dorothy"'s man.

Your honor before he talks could I explain something?

Well, I have a friend named Dorothy and she's a really good friend. And Dorothy knows that I would never do anything that was really wrong.

It's a real kick to hear Russell comically mimic Monroe's line readings while playing her own romantic story arc.

There's a certain young man that Dorothy likes. In fact, she's very fond of him.

And Dorothy would never speak to this man again if he ever did anything to hurt me, Lorelei. So I think this young man had just better know that... well... well...

Dorothy thinks she's in love with him!

On this last line reading, Russell amusingly dumps Monroe's naive girliness for her own jaded womanliness. Dorothy's suitor is naturally delighted at this admission of love, even though she's underlined it as comic exasperation.

Needless to say Mr. Malone supports Dorothy's courtroom ruse and saves the day.

Jane's faux-Marilyn scene comes shortly after Marilyn's legendary "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend" showcase. It's tempting to view this from a modern perspective -- "Diamonds" is the film's great legacy having been referenced countless times in pop culture since -- and assume that any performer would be hard pressed to follow that showstopper and mock it in the very next setpiece. But Jane Russell, a formidable star, doesn't sweat it. In fact, she appears to be having a complete ball. She sure had a pair.


The courtroom imposter scene isn't as famous as the musical numbers but it's as priceless as any missing tiara. All things considered it's Russell, top billed, who may be best in show. In the case of this 1953 classic, this gentleman prefers brunettes.

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(Musical) Monologue - "Honey you'll hurt yourself"

Jose here with the Monday Monologue.

When thinking of Howard Hawks' Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, the first image that comes to everyone's mind will be that of Marilyn Monroe performing Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend.
People who haven't seen the film know it because it's been reenacted by people like Nicole Kidman, Geri Halliwell, Kylie Minogue and was the base of Madonna's entire Material Girl video. And how could they not homage it when the performance's so damn iconic?

Marilyn knew what it meant to be a showstopper, but within the movie we also find a hidden gem of sorts in Jane Russell's performance. She plays sidekick to Monroe and while it's the blond bombshell getting all the attention, Ms. Rusell knew how to leave a mark of her own.

In what appears to be an inconspicuous number halfway throughout the film- after she's been dealing with lack of luck in love-she enters a gym in a cruise ship where surrounded by a vast number of male specimens she sends her own S.O.S

First she reveals her shortcomings

I can't play tennis,
My golf's a menace
I just can't do the Australian crawl
And I'm no better at volleyball

Then her plea

Ain't there anyone here for love?

She continues strutting among the half naked men as she reveals

I'm apathetic and non athletic
Can't keep up in a marathon
I need some shoulder to lean upon
and a couple of arms to hold me
Ain't there anyone here for love?

What's remarkable about this scene is how Russell plays it like if she's having a ball, while the love-as-a-sport lyrics could literally break your heart.
This kind of performance, sad lyrics-happy tune, would become a standard for artists like Minogue, who delivers happy electropop with lyrics that even heavy rock artists find depressing
(the Australian superstar has also paid homage to this scene in her tours).

But back to Russell, it's only until the end of the song where she has a change of heart, stops underrating herself and actually demands things out of life.

I like big muscles and red corpuscles
I like a beautiful hunk-o-man

The scene ends with Russell finally taking the plunge, quite literally, as she falls into a pool (in what seems like a painful stunt) where all the men have dived. Leaving us with a promise she more than fulfills in the rest of the film.

Beauty Break: Gold Diggers

Money is as much a part of romantic comedy match-making as it was in days of yore (see: Pretty Woman, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Ever After, Two Weeks Notice, Pride and Prejudice, Sex and the City) but nowadays the lust for big bucks and a life lived in the lap of luxury is buried underneath lots of other stuff. It's barely acknowledged or commented on... possibly because it's so much of a given.

I think it's much hotter when the rich husband hunting is completely foregrounded. Give me those classic pets after big baguettes every time.


Self aware gold diggers are much sexier.

The French are glad to die for love
They delight in fighting duels
But I prefer a man who lives
And gives expensive jewels