Gleeful Gwyneth

Last night's Glee. Do we need to discuss? Stunt casting, so flagrantly used on television and stage to yield press & ratings dividends is a completley unreliable tool for producing quality entertainment. Last night was a happy example of the times when it works. "The Substitute" reminded us how joyful Comedic Gwyneth Paltrow can be.

Somewhere after her Oscar for Shakespeare in Love, she started seeming super morose onscreen as if depressive gloopy drama was her true calling. And then she went yet GOOPier. But last night she glided through her role as "Holly Holiday", Spanish speaking catchphrase wielding Cee Lo loving totally irresponsible teacher with such relaxed shimmer, that it only reminded how radiant she was 12 years ago before she won the Oscar.

It's quite possible, if her subsequent career is any indication,  that she doesn't take her acting career too seriously but if so, why not move in that direction; funny, tossed off, 'I'm only here to have fun' treats for her starved fans? We've got plenty of actresses who can handle heavy dramatics... and some can do it with more pizzazz or more varied nuance than Paltrow. We've got too few who can get all sparkly while joking, singing and dancing. Oops, scratch the last part. Paltrow's dancing was even more clubfooted than Zeéeee's was doing the same number, Chicago's wondrous "Hot Honey Rag" finale. Well, at least Gwynnie sparkles when she sings!

Santana: What would you know about Cee Lo? You're like...40.
Gwynnie: Top 40, sweet cheeks.

Towards the end of the show there was a spot for Gwynnie's new movie Country Strong. I recently got a major thumbs down on the movie from a trusted industry source but I enjoyed hearing Gwyneth sing so much last night that I might be up for it anyway. I love the singing actresses, I do. It's just too bad that she's playing an alcoholic. No more crying Gwynnie, make it sparklier!  'It's kind of your thing.'

Here's Gwyneth singing "Country Song" at the CMA Awards last week.



You like? Maybe Best Original Song attention?

Related Posts

• Shakespeare in Love BPFTOI
• Best Actress 1998
• Gwyneth Loves Actresses in GOOP

Gwyneth Says "Hi"

so... "Hi."
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Cast This: Gravity (Without Angelina Jolie)

It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I'd never mentioned Alfonso Cuarón's upcoming sci-fi epic Gravity. And here's a worrisome opportunity to do so. According to CHUD Angelina Jolie has passed on the big budget project for a second time. That type of a "no" can often doom an expensive project.

Gravity sans Jolie. What will they do?

Who will Alfonso Cuarón find to handle the heavy duty film-carrying demands of the role? The film concerns a man and a woman who are stranded in a space station. Or at least the woman iss (details are kind of unclear) The rest of the crew is dead. Robert Downey Jr has the principal male role but for whatever reason, it's a supporting gig. Gravity will rest on the female lead's shoulders. Most exciting from a filmmaking perspective is not, for me, the abundant groundbreaking CGI (as much as in Avatar) but that Cuarón wants to include long unbroken shots... one of them 20 minutes long.

Long unbroken shots are just about my favorite cinematic thing in the world after actresses so I should have mentioned this project long ago. This movie gives both. And Cuarón's already given plenty just by making Y Tu Mama Tambien and Children of Men. (Speaking of unbroken shots...)

Anyway, this has got to be a tough role to cast... and not just because of bankability issues. Not every actor would understand the shift in performance style required to carry huge metaphysical but also action-tinged sci-fi epics all by their lonesomes. Who were the last actors to do so? I guess Jodie Foster (Contact), Hugh Jackman (The Fountain), and George Clooney (Solaris) have all given that a go in their respective ways. Carrying a survival epic on your own? Tom Hanks in Castaway pops into mind... though that's decidedly earthbound. But we'll allow for him since he's also got the stranded in space thing with Apollo 13. Obviously you have to have a star people love to look at if they have to spend 90-120 minutes with primarily one face.


I always find it amusing/annoying that when big roles for women that don't seem to require a specific age range are being cast, studios always seem willing to consider any currently hot A list star of any age and virtually every 20something in town with any heat that month even though there's usually no proven bankability (which is how so many people end up starring in like 10 movies simultaneously and are never heard from again. Remember Kate Bosworth?). Studios will almost never bank on someone who once had heat and lost it despite the cold hard fact that showbiz is nothing if not a random chaotic collection of people who are walking embodiments of the cyclical nature of heat.

"Interested" lists always make me realize how rare and lucky we are as moviegoers when something accidental happens like when someone gives someone great a real shot even though they aren't perceived as "hot right now" or bankable or on every shortlist in town. Like Marisa Tomei in all of her Oscar nominated roles. She was never on the top of every list but she's so damn talented and reliably watchable. Or like Susan Sarandon in Bull Durham in '88. She had to fight to get that and then was magnificent obliterating any notions that she had already peaked. Many people even thought Streep was over in the early 90s, you know?

Who would you cast? Bear in mind we know virtually nothing about the role other than that it's a solo and the character has a daughter back on earth (so you can't skew as young as Ellen Page, or at least you probably shouldn't because why would someone leave a baby on Earth while they were space travelling?) They'll have to have chemistry with RDJ if he stays on, and they'll need to be comfortable in an effects heavy film (which is why I worry about the studio's interest in Natalie Portman. When exactly is she good in those situations even though she's often good elsewhere?). I'd be considering Gwyneth Paltrow first (I'm serious) and then probably Nicole Kidman. Hell, I'd even test Christina Ricci on account of the curveball aspect of it. There's a familiar interesting face that nobody would be expecting but that many people would enjoy and if she ever delivers big somewhere a million people are going to say "I knew she had it in her all along!". But as much as it surprises me to hear myself type it, the studio's rumored interest in Sandra Bullock makes total sense to me artistically even if they're probably only interested due to the monetary heat. Still, I can imagine her being a good match with RDJ and her uncomplicated but highly watchable acting style might actually be an assett to an effects heavy film. She's never tried one and maybe she'll want to stretch a little post-Oscar?

The possibilities are endless... aren't they?

I'll shut up now. I do go on. Your turn. Which actress would you love to see carrying a sci-fi epic for Alfonso Cuarón.
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Streep Nom #11: One True Thing

We're looking at each Meryl Streep Oscar nod and its competitive field.
Previously: 78, 79, 81, 82, 83, 85, 87, 88, 90 and 95

Twenty years after her first nomination for The Deer Hunter (1978) Meryl Streep replaced Bette Davis as runner up to Katharine Hepburn's Oscar throne with her cancer victim in One True Thing. For a very short time period (i.e. twelve months) the three legends had a 10-11-12 Oscar nomination spread. Streep would soon leave both Hepburn and Davis in the dust. But we'll get to her #1 status when it rolls around.

1998 the nominees were

• Cate Blanchett, Elizabeth
• Fernanda Montenegro, Central Station *Nathaniel's vote*
  
• Gwyneth Paltrow, Shakespeare in Love
• Meryl Streep, One True Thing
• Emily Watson, Hilary & Jackie
  

The Blanchett vs. Paltrow contest has arguably been the most discussed in modern Oscar Actress history with the possible exception of Swank vs. Bening (both rounds). People still get hot under their ruffs about this one a full dozen years later.

Other '98 women for context:
Globe nominees that didn't make Oscar's cut were Susan Sarandon (Stepmom), Jane Horrocks (Little Voice), Cameron Diaz (There's Something About Mary), Meg Ryan (You've Got Mail) and Christina Ricci (The Opposite of Sex). Elsewhere in Awardsland, Ally Sheedy (High Art) took Best Actress at the Indie Spirits, besting Alfre Woodard (Down in the Delta). Weirdness: Emma Thompson, an awards staple, couldn't get any traction for a mimicry job (Primary Colors).

Anne Heche & Ellen Degeneres still had tongues wagging --- >

1998 was a double dipper year for Drew Barrymore (The Wedding Singer, Ever After), Sandra Bullock (Practical Magic, Hope Floats) and Anne Heche (Six Days and Seven Nights, Psycho) who was the controversial rage at the time as the first out lesbian* headlining major studio movies.

Major 90s stars like Angela Bassett (How Stella Got Her Groove Back), Holly Hunter (Living Out Loud) and Jennifer Lopez (Out of Sight) came on strong. And Oprah Winfrey (Beloved) didn't generate the awards enthusiasm needed.

Finally, this is the year we met Lindsay Lohan, future hot mess -- and like Heche, also a future faux lesbian! -- in her wonderfully able child star debut in The Parent Trap. It was so wonderfully able, in fact, that I fell hard for her. To emphasize why that is unexpected is to admit that the Hayley Mills film was my BEST-MOVIE-EVER until I was about eight years old. Even thinking of it now in 2010 makes me all teary-eyed with nostalgia.


Nathaniel's List?
He's not so sure. Oscar's roster is Classic Bait: terminal illness, mental disorders, Shakespeare, royalty porn, older person opening their heart to a child (Yes, they have a thing for that, too). How could any of these performances not have been nominated even if they weren't as good as they are? Originally in the now mythic war for the statue between Paltrow & Blanchett I favored Blanchett but my opinion of Paltrow's star making turn has grown considerably over the years. Still, I'm not sure either would make my list. I'm not sure who would make my list. Strangely, given the topic at hand, I barely remember Streep's cancer mom.

Apologies to Watson but she'd probably be the first to go to make room for one of the worst snubs of the decade. I'm talking about Ally Sheedy's devastating photographer/junkie in High Art. I was madly in love with both Hunter and Ricci's smart sexy comic work in '98 so maybe I'd dump a couple more of the Oscar women for them. Who knows? Revisits are in order. But to make a long story short, the LAFCA got it exactly right with their tie; Ally Sheedy and Fernanda Montenegro tower over 1998's actress field.

*Anne "Celestia" Heche's lesbianism was short lived of course. But still. People were all "Oh My God!" -- OMG! wasn't in the vernacular yet -- "They're letting an out lesbian play romantic straight leads in movies! The world is going to end."
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Curio: Actress Cameos

Alexa from Pop Elegantiarum here. I've always wondered if the phrase "cameo appearance" originated from cameo jewelry: a recognizable face that appears in relief, at least on film. I haven't got a verifiable answer (although Wikipedia tells me I'm right). In the meantime, here are some recognizable film faces that have been cameo-ized.

One of Wes Anderson's trinkets, Margot Tennenbaum, makes a perfect cameo brooch.

A fittingly Burtonesque, Gothic cameo necklace of Anne Hathaway's White Queen.

The classics: Louise Brooks, Bette Davis, and Greta Garbo.

And on the edgier side, a Jane Fonda protest cameo.

Iron Men

Last week, we prepped for the summer movie season by pondering good times at the multiplex with summer playthings Tony Stark and Carrie Bradshaw (Sold Separately!). Sarah Jessica Parker will make us wait as Carrie is fashionably late; Three more weeks until she flicks her witty tongue, tosses that glorious mane, and buys several more pairs of shoes. Robert Downey Jr's billionaire weapons manufacturer, on the other hand, has already returned. With IRON MAN 2 playing to sold out crowds everywhere there's no more wondering what the summer movie season will look like.

Not that it was ever anything like a secret what Iron Man 2 would offer up. This blockbuster's shiny surface reflects Hollywood's sequel mandate back at us. Their answer is always 'more! more! more!' before anyone has asked a question.

Read the rest at Towleroad

Return and report... Did you like the movie's more more more credo? And how about Mickey Rourke's post-Wrestler turn?
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Yes, No, Maybe So: Sex & the City & Iron Mans 2

As y'all know, I am not terribly good at simplicity. I can't just post a trailer. I gotta have an angle (charitable view) or a gimmick (uncharitable view) in order to have at it. Otherwise I fear I'll be absorbed into that Borg-like group internet mind that exists only to offer movie studios free publicity. So what to do with trailers? I used to resent them. I spent a lot of 2009 worrying about our All Foreplay/No Sex internet movie culture. 95% of movie discussions these days take place before anyone ever sees the movie in question. The discussion ends on the movie's opening weekend. Doesn't anyone wanna have sex with the movies anymore?

Speaking of Sex...

I didn't even realize this until both of these teasers premiered this past week or so but 2010's upcoming summer movie season is basically an elaborately expensive time machine designed to transport us back exactly two years to May 2008 when Tony Stark and Carrie Bradshaw played bookend egotist divas. They're both coming back to open and close the month of May again.

Which film are you salivating for?

While I blame our trailer-happy YouTube culture for this 'all foreplay' problem, I have decided to simply accept it and share and thus (hopefully) manage my expectations for new movies with a simple yes, no, maybe so.

Sex & the City 2

Yes. Sarah Jessica Parker is a babe*. She's only gotten more divalicious with age and the opening of this trailer, with the iconic Carrie Bradshaw emerging from her impossibly lux apartment building with pristine white dress and gold shades is such a money shot. Even better, SJP caps it with Carrie's trademark tongue check followed by hair toss. Love it.

*I don't even care how gay that makes me sound, haters!

No. But then there's the suggestion that we're going to spend the whole movie in the Sahara. Sometimes you do just have to get away with the girls but must you go so far? Did they learn nothing for those episodes in California? Manhattan is the fifth girl. And the best one.

Maybe So. Even if this movie is totally unnecessary I still can't wait to see the clothes*.

*I still don't care!

Yes. Robert Downey Jr & Gwyneth Paltrow had fine chemistry in the first. More Pepper, please. This kiss-off "you complete me" banter is totally endearing even though it's a little smug/ obnoxious. Kind of like RDJ as Tony Stark.
No. I'm excited that Mickey Rourke has a career again (God, the Wrestler was so good). But I don't get this busy/ugly Whiplash costume. Are those orange harem pants?
Maybe So. Metallic special effects mayhem. Entirely thrilling or too repetitive for words?

Those were my immediate responses. Yours? Do share... even if your feelings are as contradictory and carefully managed as mine.

Bonus points to whoever can accurately comment-guess how little screen time Scarlett Johansson is actually going to have as the Black Widow. You know how those superhero franchises like to load up on excellent comic book characters only to do virtually nothing with them once they show up onscreen. Care to guess? Unfortunately we won't be able to name the winner until May.

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Robots and Scientists and Planes (Oh My!)

Jose here, to remind you of an underrated gem from 2004.



When I was a child I was addicted to Superman. Not the Christopher Reeve movies and obviously not the weird TV show with Teri Hatcher, but the classic animated shorts from the 1930s. We had a VHS tape which I could watch for hours and hours completely enthralled by the terrific stories, the foreign adventures and even the sense of menace and doom conveyed by Dave Fleischer in under ten minutes.

Years later I had the same feeling watching Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. Kerry Conran's debut film was a tribute to this era which featured giants robots, timeless kingdoms atop the Himalayas, perky reporters and heroines with eye patches.
Everything in the film is CGI, except for the actors, which gives it a retro-futuristic air. With nods to Dave Fleischer, Flash Gordon, Indiana Jones (which is itself a tribute to serials) and The Wizard of Oz, the film is a treat for film buffs who will have a great time with all the references.

But the film's joy isn't only in its referential nature. It's also a heck of an adventure film in which plot has little relevance and over the top is always the way to go. Gwyneth Paltrow is wonderful as reporter Polly Perkins and for those who think she takes herself too seriously, you can see her having actual fun in this one!

Jude Law is glorious and dashing and Angelina Jolie is splendid in what amounts to a glorified cameo. Unsurprisingly the film was a box office failure and Conran hasn't made a film since. Laurence Olivier was the villain! Come on!

That's sad, because in terms of energy and pure love for the movies, not many films made in the past decade can be compared to Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. In a perfect world the captain would be fighting the crab aliens from Méliès Trip to the Moon...

An Actor's Link For Me

Big Picture There's not enough movies in the world to support Nicolas Cage's $$$ habits
Antagony... Introducing... Ingrid Bergman
Movies Kick Ass is excited about Gwyneth Paltrow joining Nicole Kidman in The Danish Girl. I never believe these casting dealios until movies actually start filming. I mean, what will become of GOOP if Gwynnie decides to make movies again?
Cinematical appreciates the grace and wit of Ian McKellen on... The View
Coming Soon Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan movie, a thriller about a ballerina (!) , keeps sounding more interesting: Natalie Portman, Mila Kunis will now be joined by Barbara Hershey and Winona Ryder (double yay!)
Just Jared Reeve Carney, Broadway's new Spider-Man

Did you have any film or television adventures over the weekend? I was mostly layed out with a bad back (i.e. painful but golden opportunity to watch movies) but I did waddle to a Mad Men party last night hosted by the great fansite Basket of Kisses where we were all thrilled to see/meet actor Michael Gladis.

He made his screen debut in Kathyrn Bigelow's K-19: The Widowmaker (2002) but he's mostly done guest spots on TV since. Mad Men was definitely the game-changer. He plays pipe smoking bohemian-leaning Paul on the show. But after seeing the wildly disruptive season 3 finale, I got to thinking about how odd it must be for series regulars. You never know what's coming for your character and yet you have to define that psyche consistently every single week. At any moment, particularly on brave serialized shows which embrace change as a narrative force, you could be written out, sidelined or suddenly come into sharper focus. I guess the same is true for non-series regulars. Your next job could be the big one. Or you could be sidelined.

The life of an actor. One can only imagine.
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Gwyneth Loves Actresses / Sofia Loves Vampires

We have something in common with Gwyneth Paltrow. I use the term "we" because I assume if you're a regular Film Experience reader you are at least partially actress cuckoo. Turns out Gwynnie is too. In a recent GOOP newsletter whilst talking about her taste in film she says...

The films I love best usually contain a breathtaking female performance (The Reader, Sophie’s Choice, Klute), as the genius of a creative woman inspires me in all areas of my life.

That's so gushy/lifestyle guru of her but it's tough to argue with that sentiment. Plus, the latter two of those performances I'd rank in the top ten of all time I suspect, should I ever make such a list.

Oh. Um... distracted by the actresses was I.

The article is actually about five DVD rental suggestions straight from five famous film directors and you can read the whole thing here. (Thanks to BSLS for pointing it out)

James Gray (Two Lovers) recommends Rocco and His Brothers which I have sitting at my desk right here from Netflix (coincidence!), Jon Favreau recommends Kung Fu Panda (which his son likes more than Iron Man. Hee). But my favorite of the recommendations is Sofia Coppola's thumbs up for Let The Right One In.

That makes perfect sense, if you think about it for a few seconds. Let The Right One In favors lonely, dreamy, haunting moods and obsesses over an isolated girlcreature... its just like a Sofia Coppola movie!


Minus Kirsten Dunst, plus snow and bloodlust.
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Dynamic Mickey "Whiplash" Rourke and a Little Scarlett Widow

Reports started surfacing last night that Mickey Rourke had finally signed a deal to play a "russian villain" in Iron Man 2. Previous reports had said "Whiplash" (not Russian) which led me to think they had jettisoned Whiplash and his muscle queen "gimp" garb for something more Iron Mannish in Crimson Dynamo.

Both reports are correct. EW's coverage indicates that they're compositing the characters which is smart. In Contention mentioned the importance of compositing in their Watchmen take and it's totally true. Comic books are a long form art -- much more analagous to TV than movies -- and you have to make adjustments and cuts to properly capture them in transfer. Superhero movies get too bogged down in multiple characters and don't we all want to see a bit more Tony Stark and his personal demons in the second installment?

Mickey Rourke vs. Robert Downey Jr with a tub of popcorn on the side and a little Gwyneth Paltrow for salt Peppering. Sounds like heaven for a summer movie and more than enough for a 2 hour throwdown. Sounds like Spider-Man 2 size. Spider-Man 2 was a blast. But ,since it's a superhero sequel, they're going to overstuff it with villains and side characters. Currently, outside of Tony & Pepper they plan to include not 1 not 2 but 6 major characters...

• Mandarin (unknown / still included???)
  
• Whiplash/Dynamo (Mickey Rourke)
• Justin Hammer (Sam Rockwell)
  
• The Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson)
  
• Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson)
  
• War Machine (Don Cheadle)
  

There won't be any room for Gwynnie & Robert!

Did Jon Favreau, who seems to be a smart guy, learn nothing from the dwindling of the Batman, Spider-Man and X-Men franchises? The more characters you add the worse a film gets. It's a law of entertainment physics and yet everyone in Hollywood thinks they are immune to it or can beat it. Like cocaine.

Since the Iron team is still in pre-production I shall pray for script revisions so that we go from 7 major characters to 4. I shall pray for focus, tight focus. Not just tight costumes. Speaking of... I love The Black Widow (one of my favorite comic chicks) but if you're not going to do her justice, why do her? She needs more than a tiny slice of screen time. Bliss when I heard Emily Blunt would play her. Great casting. My intermittent love of Scarlett aside, she's wrong as the replacement. (Yes, yes, I know the body type is fine. But when is Scarlett's body type not right for a comic book movie? Bras only come in one cup size in the DC and Marvel Universes: Double D). And while we're on the subject of ScarJo: Does this film need two of The Spirit's stars? You sure you want to draw that parallel?

But back on topic. Most of the greatest, influential and most popular action movies: Aliens, Die Hard, Spider-Man 2, Terminator & Terminator 2, Speed have very pared down stories and characters. All the better to play off of those gargantuan setpieces. Generally there's but one villain. Even The Matrix (less pared down) essentially had one villain... even if he seemed like many.

good use of multiple characters


bad use of multiple characters

Twelfth Link

Charlie Rose speaks with Mickey Rourke at length about his storied career and The Wrestler's road to Oscar
Arts Beat Joss Whedon on Dollhouse. It premieres tonight.
Popnography Joss Whedon and the gays
Slant is done with the director's branch in the Academy. They have been in free fall, haven't they?
In Contention shares the Peter Gabriel dropping out of the Oscar news. I don't know how y'all are feeling about this but limiting the performances to only 90 seconds each is just another clue to me that the Academy has virtually zero interest in this category. Why not just cut your losses and cancel the category for future years. Especially since the choices year after year leave a lot to be desired.


Flick Filosopher Should the character of The Joker be retired from movies?
Topless Robot looks at the most dysfunctional superhero couples of all time. For Valentine's Day. Only two of these crazy romances have ever made it to the screen. You know which two.
Fabulon Madonna & Boy Toy
Lazy Circle even Angelina Jolie freaked out by baby crazy Nadia Suleman
Film of the Month Club looks at The Three Caballeros. God, I haven't seen that in decades.
Film in Focus is finalizing a "who inspires you" contest by way of Milk
1 more

Finally, did you know that Anne Hathaway will be doing Shakespeare in the Park this summer? She's doing Twelfth Night but Twelfth Night is not as kind to everyone as it was to Gwyneth Paltrow, you know? Twelfth Night in the Park is, are you ready for this, the same thing that Michelle Pfeiffer did immediately following her first Oscar nomination. The levels. The difference is that Anne is playing Viola and 'chelle played Lady Olivia back in the day. Here's hoping that Anne has an easier road with critics than Michelle did. That 1989 production is still cited as a terrible one in articles on New York's beloved seasonal event. Critics were not kind to the fresh Oscar nominee back in 1989.

Now Playing: Hockey Masks and Shopaholics

links go to trailers

L I M I T E D
Gomorra The Italian hit finally opens proper, without the intended Oscar nomination it expected to be promoting itself with. I thought it was good but I don't totally understand the fuss, I must confess. If you like hyperlink mosaics or mafia films you could certainly do a lot lot worse. It has its moments.

Two Lovers I keep thinking this movie opened already but such is the fateful pattern of distribution for small actor's films. Only in this case it's more like actor (singular) since that's not what Joaquin Phoenix is anymore, you got it? See it for Gwynnie. Didn't you realize you kind of missed her when she showed up in Iron Man last summer?

W I D E
The International Evil banks vs. the world. How timely! But how did they get permission to shoot up the friggin' Guggenheim? (I never use the word friggin but the doubled double 'g's were too much to pass up). That's all I can think of when I watch the trailer because despite the presence of a director I once loved (Tom Run Lola Run Tykwer) and actors I admire it seems so, what's the word, "standard"? We'll see.

Confessions of a Shopaholic In which two time Oscar nominee Amy Ad-- I'm sorry in which Isla Fisher (the other one was on my mind, that's all) tries to carry a girlie hit all by herself presumably targeting the huge Devil Wears Prada audience. Notice the helpful hint "You speak Prada?" in the trailer. Although do we really care what Hugh Dancy speaks so long as we are able to read his lips? Do you think the female audience will ever tire of being portrayed as insatiable brand-crazy consumers?

Kristin Scott Thomas also appears in this one and we'll be talking about her again in a couple of weeks when I've Loved You So Long hits DVD. I'll share my interview then.

Friday the 13th I have no idea what number this is the endless bloody stream of Jason pictures, but the title suggests it's a reboot. Not a rethink! How can one rethink "Kids go to Crystal Lake, get slaughtered" I saw the first five minutes of this at Comic Con (not by choice! they sandwiched it between two things I wanted to see so I couldn't give up my seat). In the first five minutes of the picture, young pretty people get killed in increasingly gruesome ways. Sorry to go so heavy on the spoilers. Did I ruin the movie for you? What surprised me is how many people got killed in those five minutes. I counted five. The movie is 97 minutes long. I guess I'd see 92 more murders if I purchase a ticket? Slasher math.

True story: One of my friends is hosting a Friday the 13th party tonight in which apparently a bunch of the movies are going to be screened in marathon succession --how does one tell where one film ends and another begins? Hours upon hours of grisly murders. Another friend keeps bugging me to go. Don't they know I would just curl up in fetal position? That's no way to behave at a party and it's also not conducive to hanging out by the food, my preferred party position. It's hard to reach for chips and salsa when you're hands are hugging your knees.

Seeing anything this weekend?
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Vanity Fair's Hollywood ~ Episode 10 (2004)

Missed previous episodes? See: 1995 , 1996, 1997, 1998 , 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005

With the annual Vanity Fair "Hollywood" issue about to debut for 2009 -- I'm guessing we see the new cover in less than two weeks (UPDATE: the new cover has been leaked and Vanity Fair has chucked their traditional photo shoot *sniffle* for the millionth magazine cover featuring President Obama), let's briefly return to our Vanity Fair retrospectives. "Send in the Gowns" was the title of 2004's photo shoot and they returned to the first year's game plan of glamour girls. The cover was more crowded though, bringing us an unlucky 13. But who was this cover unlucky for?


Maybe all of them, with the exception of Maggie Gyllenhaal (hurrah) and Hilary Swank (known affectionately around these parts as Beelzebub), who was just 11 months away from her second Oscar. Vanity Fair had gotten less daring in their cover selections as the year's passed (at least in terms of fresh "they'll be famous!" proclamations), but many of these careers had arguably peaked and were headed downhill.

Strange coincidence: 23% of these women are starring in He's Just Not That Into You

Julianne Moore was 43 at the time. She had been on the first "Hollywood" edition in spring '95 (before anyone had seen [Safe]) and got a deserved promotion. In the 9 years between the covers she'd gone from gorgeous up and coming redhead to a famously talented familiar actress as well as an Oscar nom' magnet. Unfortunately, round about this time as her fame and price kept escalating, she stopped wowing. 2004 brought her her only solo film-carrying "hit" in the traditional sense (The Forgotten) but it also brought stinkers like Laws of Attraction and films that no one even knows exist like Marie and Bruce (the only Moore film I haven't managed to get my eyes on). She's been misfiring both critically and box office wise since though she did have small roles in two acclaimed films Children of Men and I'm Not There.

This past year's double Moore dip, Savage Grace and Blindness (FB Body of Work nomination), reminded us that she's a unique and formidable dramatic actress... when she's not trying to be a romantic comedienne or action heroine. Next: She has three films in the can for 2009: the lead in a thriller (uh oh -- not playing to her strengths!) called Shelter, and supporting roles in the dramas The Private Lives of Pippa Lee and fashion god Tom Ford's filmmaking debut A Single Man.

Jennifer Connelly was 33 newly married to fine actor Paul Bettany and had just starred in a hit that everybody thought of as a flop (Hulk) and an Oscar misfire of sorts (House of Sand and Fog) but she was still considered a major get. Only she wouldn't be got. So to speak. She took only co-lead or supporting roles that didn't do much for her in Oscar Bait projects that didn't hook any statues (Little Children, Reservation Road, Blood Diamond) and now she's doing CGI flicks (The Day the Earth Stood Still and Inkheart). Is there a second wind to this career? And if there is, doesn't it need to come very soon? Next: He's Just Not That Into You and then Creation, a Charles Darwin biopic where she and her husband will play the Darwins.

Gwyneth Paltrow, 31, was still arguably suffering from the Oscar Curse -- that messy career period that can follow an Oscar win (which she won for Shakespeare in Love, discussed at length right here). The Royal Tenenbaums and Sylvia had reminded that she had plenty of acting skill but something about the career wasn't taking with Oscar or the public. Did she not care enough? She was a newlywed when this cover hit (to Coldplay's Chris Martin) and already pregnant with their first child, though she wasn't yet showing (she's pictured right, a few months later). Her acting career definitely went on the back burner. She's had 7 films released since this cover debuted and only one true leading role among them (Proof). She's now far more of a celebrity than an actress. The fame part stuck. Next: Two Lovers is inching it's way into view. King Lear and Iron Man 2 are coming for 2010.

Naomi Watts, 35, had recently moved out from under that 'Nicole Kidman's best friend' tag and into her own celebrity. The fresh Oscar nomination for 21 Grams (due in no small part to the Mulholland Dr lead in we're sure) went a long way towards that. She was still dating Heath Ledger, who came with her to the Oscars, but their relationship was about to end. (Thank god she convinced him to take Brokeback Mountain first!). In 2004 she had two heavy dramas and one comedy (the brilliant I Heart Huckabees) on the way. She chased those with the massive King Kong. Ever the multi-tasker since stardom hit she's still busy busy busy despite being a new mom. Next: Mother and Child for actress-loving director Rodrigo García and possibly Need with Nicole Kidman. That would be their first movie together since the charming Australian romance Flirting in 1991.

Salma Hayek, 37, still had residual heat from the success of Frida in late 2002. She had broken up with Ed Norton and was dating Josh Lucas but her movie career was about to collapse. Flops like Ask the Dust, Lonely Hearts and After the Sunset were all on the way. A savvy star she's stayed in the game by seguewaying to television production, bringing the big hit Ugly Betty to ABC and doing guest work (30 Rock). Next: "Madame Truska" in Universal's Cirque Du Freak opening in time for Halloween

Jennifer Aniston had just celebrated her 35th birthday, and her career was coming to the crossroads. She was finishing up her last season on TV's mega hit "Friends" and her marriage to Brad Pitt was also close to wrapping (though we didn't know it at the time). They divorced in late 2005 shortly before her first two post TV stardom movies (Derailed and Rumor Has It) opened. Her feature career has been middling peppered with the occasional high concept hit but she's forever ubiquitous in the media thanks to that decade in our living rooms as "Rachel" and her gossip-drenched marriage and split from Mr. Pitt. Next: the star studded romantic comedy He's Just Not That Into You

Kirsten Dunst, almost 22, was about to dump Jake Gyllenhaal (my theory as to one of the reasons people hate her so), Eternal Sunshine was playing (she does not get enough credit for her wistful funny turn in that film) and Spider-Man 2 was about to open. She was extremely famous / busy. It's been a bumpy ride since with rehab, a misunderstood star vehicle (Marie Antoinette), internet backlash and flops outside of those webslinging blockbusters. Next: All Good Things, the narrative feature debut of documentarian Andrew Jarecki (Capturing the Friedmans) opens this summer. Possibly Spider-Man 4 after that. Don't do it Kiki! Save yourself

Diane Lane, who had been famous since she was only 14 had just turned 39. She had seen her lengthy career hit a new peak with an Oscar nomination for Unfaithful in 2002 which she followed with another minor hit Under the Tuscan Sun. She was about to marry Josh Brolin whose career was still a couple years away from supersizing. More films were lining up for Lane but things aren't as rosy now since none have really matched that Unfaithful triumph and some (Kill Shot and Fierce People) had trouble even getting into theaters. Next: nothing announced.

Lucy Liu, 35, had just given the performance of her career in Kill Bill but then... that tends to happen to people when they star in Quentin Tarantino movies, doesn't it? Liu had always toggled between features and TV and she kept doing so. She's never left wanting for work but no great successes since. Next: nothing announced since her last two televisions series Lipstick Mafia and Dirty Sexy Money were both cancelled.

Hilary Swank in '04. Photographed by Stephen Meisel for Calvin Klein (photo source)

Hilary Swank, nearing 30, was on this cover because she had a frankly amazing agent. I kid, I kid. Her career post 1999 Oscar had been unremarkable. The Core was her last release prior to this cover but 2004 was looking big for her on paper (a respectable TV movie Iron Jawed Angels and a Clint Eastwood picture Million Dollar Baby -discussed here) and looks weren't deceiving. She won another Oscar for the latter and promptly returned to doing what she does: random disposable projects of multiple genres. Next: Two Oscar hopefuls for 2009 and in both of them she plays the title character. There's Amelia, a biopic in which she plays the famous aviatrix and Betty Ann Waters an Erin Brockovich style working mother turned legal eagle drama.

Alison Lohman, 24, was just off of a few high profile gigs (Big Fish, White Oleander and Matchstick Men) but her follow ups were very low profile. Tell me, have you seen: The Big White, Where the Truth Lies, Things We Lost in the Fire or Flicka? Next: Two thrillers one called simply Game leans scifi, the other Drag Me to Hell is auteur Sam Raimi's return to the horror genre. That might be something to look forward to but can it raise Lohman's profile back to early 2004 levels?

Scarlett Johansson, all of 19 years old, had just become the movies hottest young star. Offscreen she was a dynamo in the Young Hollywood scene --vaguely around this time she moved from dating Jared Leto to a fairly lengthy romance with Josh Hartnett. Onscreen she was a fresh sensation. Girl with a Pearl Earring and Lost in Translation had both opened to enviable acclaim for the young starlet and an awards run, too (though Oscar passed). When this cover was shot she was a critics darling, a paparazzi treasure and very much in demand by both auteurs and corporations (her endorsement side career might be as profitable as her film career by now). She's been super busy these past 4 years with numerous films, marrying Ryan Reynolds and that fledgling recording career. But is it quantity over quality. A lot of people are beginning to think so. Next: He's Just Not That Into You

Maggie Gyllenhaal, 27 at the time, had become ubiquitous around 2002 appearing in critical hits like Adaptation and Secretary. She and Jake her brother ascended in very close succession. The next year or so was less eventful cinematically for Maggie but two years after this cover hit she was all over the screens again delivering you-can't-look-away performances in films ranging from World Trade Center (blech) to Stranger Than Fiction to Sherrybaby and off screen she was having her first child with Peter Sarsgaard. Oscar still hasn't taken a liking to Maggie but few would argue that she isn't one of the most impressive actresses of her generation. Next: Crazy Heart a drama with Colin Farrel and Away We Go a comedy for director Sam Mendes.

PLEASE NOTE: If you'd like to read more about any of these stars, click the names in the labels section below.

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median age: 32. Julianne Moore was the mamma (isn't she always?) and ScarJo the baby.
noticeably absent: Who else was topical around 2003/2004? Let's see... Halle Berry was about to screw up her career with Catwoman, Angelina Jolie (who has never been on one of these "Hollywood" covers) had a bunch of movies about to come out, Emmy Rossum was just off of Mystic River and about to co-star in two epics, Kate Beckinsale had had a minor hit with Underworld and was chasing it with another supernatural flick before co-starring in Martin Scorsese's The Aviator.
collective Oscar noms before this cover: 10 nominations (40% of those for Julianne) and 3 winners (her front cover co-stars Connelly & Paltrow and then Swank in the backfold)
collective Oscar noms after this cover: only one but she won (Hilary Swank)
fame levels in 2009, according to famousr, from most to least: Jennifer Aniston, Gwyneth Paltrow, Hilary Swank, Kirsten Dunst, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Liu, Salma Hayek, Julianne Moore, Naomi Watts, Jennifer Connelly, Diane Lane, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Alison Lohman
previous episodes of 'VFH': 1995 ,1996, 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004 and 2005.
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