"Meryl Streep on Ice!"

A delicious spoof of Meryl's 'who me?' tossed off perfection. Even the sweater made me giggle. Plus, it's blissfully short as all such jokes should be. Well done SNL. (But how did they keep it so brief? They usually overkill their good jokes.)
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James & Annie, Good Sports & Oscar Hosts

Saturday Night Live, that dinosaur of pop culture, may be good for something we never really expected: producing Oscar hosts. Both James Franco and Anne Hathaway, just announced as February's Oscar hosts,  have hosted the ancient challenging live comedy program (Franco in 2009, Hathaway just recently) to fine results, so why not Hollywood's High Holy Night? I'm just glad that they didn't take the SNL alum thing to its exhaustively ubiquitous endpoint: Betty White!

Franco & Hathaway have proven themselves as versatile showpeople over the past decade but more importantly for their latest assignment, they're both good industry sports and twinkly showbiz ambassadors. They don't always need the spotlight (witness their frequent onscreen generosity to co-stars) but when it hits them they sure sparkle, they choose a mix of classy projects and check-cashing opportunities (usually a wise career move), and their onscreen personas are buttressed by offscreen personalities that read as amiable, clever and ready for a good time. In short, though they both can be the life of the party, it's just as easy to imagine them hosting one. You can practically see them taping streamers to ceilings or blowing up balloons for a friend's birthday, can't you?

But alas... AMPAS's decision to employ them is problematic. Though Hathaway's Best Actress prospects are on the fade for Love and Other Drugs, most pundits agree that Franco is one of the frontrunners for this Best Actor for 127 Hours. Therefore we can't totally cheer this otherwise sensible decision. The Tony Awards regularly use nominated hosts and The Emmys have been known to double dip, too. But no matter the organization, the event, or the temperament of the celebrity, it's unavoidably T-A-C-K-Y. It's like hosting a party and declaring yourself the Guest of Honor. Who does that?

Related Reading: 
Vulture 5 Weirdest Oscar Hosts
Deadline brags about calling it. "Toldja"
Hollywood Reporter Youngest hosts ever...

Speaking of which, I love this tweet from Indie Focus about the Oscar's weirdly noncommital desperation to be hipper than than are.

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25th Anniversary: Jamie Lee Curtis is Perfect

this was supposed to be a reg'lar monday monologue but i got distracted

Put down that Activia and listen up. I accidentally saw Freaky Friday again (as funny as ever) so Jamie Lee Curtis was bouncing round in me brain. Long before Curtis was regulating the nation with great yogurt (What? It works.) she was already something of an icon of health & fitness.

Perfect in Pink

Her marvelous bod first got a ton of media attention in Trading Places (1983, t'was the boobs). Most famously, the blockbuster True Lies (1994) exploited her goods with that memorable striptease sequence.

And twenty-five years ago this very day, Perfect (1985) opened. This proved to be the most literal interpretation of her 'Let's Get Physical' career thread. She even had Olivia Newton-John hair. In the film she played Jessie, "the aerobics pied piper" at the Sports Erection... excuse me... Sports Connection that Rolling Stone reporter Adam (John Travolta) is about to crucify in a big condescending expose about health clubs as the new singles bars.

Jessie is too savvy to agree to be Adam's profile subject but too enamored of the cleft chin'ed one not to bed him. This leads to one of the most ridiculous pre-sex metaphorical banter ever heard on film (warm up = foreplay and, well, you get the picture from there) and an even more ridiculous post coital scene. After their lovemaking Travolta attends Curtis's slimnastics class and for an ENTIRE FIVE MINUTES (I'm not even exaggerating by one second) we watch them doing a sweaty intense pelvic gyration routine while making ooh and aah and youaresobadyousexything faces at each other. It's hideous!


Adding to the hilarity is the lyrics of the song that's playing. "Shock me til I can't sit up I can't sit down. Oh no... temperatures higher" -- which sounds like... well, the characters might want to hit the free health clinic after their sexworkout. [Sadly it's one of the movie's only moments that's so-bad-it's-good. The film is too inert and serious overall to have become a fondly remembered Bad Movie We Love.]

Late in the movie Jessie's worst fears are confirmed about Adam and what he intends to write. She sees this heinous article on his computer AND I MUST SHOW YOU THE COMPUTER BECAUSE OF THE CRUCIAL QUESTION OF WHAT IS IT???


I don't even understand what I'm looking at. It's like a desktop computer grafted onto the back of a laptop with some sort of stand/lift on the back. And giant yellow letters, only 16 lines of them, on the screen. To erase it -- which Jessie does in anger -- she has to backspace every line. There's not even a highlight/delete function.

This movie should be placed in the Smithsonian it tells you so much you'd forgotten about the 80s. For example, I had completely forgotten that "eat shit and die" was like an every-single-day insult between friends and that people said "sleaze" instead of skank, slut or ho.

For reasons only my late 80s self comprehends, I was very obsessed with Jamie Lee Curtis's line reading of "What's so wrong with wanting to be perfect?" It's the only thing I remembered about the movie in 2010 before looking at it again. Watching it now, it's still an emotional climax but it's more blah than I'd remembered. Like the rest of the movie. It's one of those "duh" and OOH... SPEAK YOUR THEMES TO ME *HOT* moments that I sometimes like to make fun of in modern movies. Anyway, before Jamie Lee has her would be famous speech, she calls John Travolta a bitch. Which is awesome. And very non 80s of her, I think. Then she lays into the bitch.

You talked to me about Emerson and Baby Boomers and Physical Great Awakening and all you do is write a fucking little piece about people getting into each other's pants.

He whines "But every thing I wrote is true."

It's not the truth I'm worried about, it's the tone... and hurting people and using them.


You're so disgusting. How can you be nice to somebody like McKenzie and then shit on Linda? What did she ever do to you or anybody else for that matter? Nothing! What's wrong with wanting to be the best that you can be? What's so wrong with wanting to be perfect? What's wrong with wanting to be loved?

You're going to ruin her life.

The her in question is Linda played by Laraine Newman. I remember this supporting role was kind of a big deal at the time because Newman was an SNL regular and she's pretty good in a dramatic role as the desperate workout fanatic and "sleaze".

Perfect has a terrible reputation but it's actually kind of interesting in a time capsule way even though, no, it's not particularly good. It's angsty take on journalistic ethics is fairly typical of movies but it's an eye opener to watch this and remember that working out regularly was once looked down on as a fad and there's also the constant and now shocking reminder that magazine articles use to have major cultural impact. The life of a writer was certainly different.

Jessie: How many articles do you write a year?
Adam: I dunno. Ten?

Many writers nowadays have to churn out several a day. Quality and depth of research have surely suffered in this content and pageview driven new world.

But I don't mean to be a draggy downer like the film. Despite it's glum mood, it's sort of adorkable anyway since it has forgotten 80s lingo, hilariously awful 80s music, memorable 80s people (Rolling Stone founder Jan Wenner in his chubby pre-coming out days plays a Rolling Stone editor, Carly Simon cameos, Marilu Henner!) and actual 80s fashions (rather than costumed designed interpretations) all the way from single girl party wear to stripper costumes to workout clothes. You even see what we now call "mom jeans" on hot young pieces like Jamie Lee. Even Jamie Lee can't make them work. She looks better naked.

It's like these three characters (a throuple) say in the film.

"The better your body looks the more you want to take off your clothes."

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Have you ever tried aerobics? Which movie most screams "authentic 80s!" to you?

Further Reading?
Adam's "Signatures: Jamie Lee Curtis"
Susan's Top Ten Movie Hookers
JA's Top Ten Actress in a Horror Film Performancess

i said your link your link your link is my drug

Variety finds the new Robin Hood too self serious. [gladiator voice] Are you not entertained unsurprised?
Movie|Line "The Summer of Discontent" why is this summer so empty and 2011 so packed?
USA Today the latest info on Julie Taymor's The Tempest starring Helen Mirren
Boing Boing Star Wars in 2 minutes with Legos
Dear Old Hollywood a Goonies 25th anniversary celebration coming up in June


Marie Claire Fatal Attraction going on stage by Christmas. Happy uh Christmas bunny haters
Just Jared Awwww, the Supermen together. Makes one miss Christopher Reeve though (sigh)
In Contention poster and images from Biutiful starring Javier Bardem
After Elton Neil Patrick Harris ranks Hollywood men. I can't believe he went there
Queerty why can't Cam & Mitch kiss on Modern Family? This is a weird topic since same sex kissing happens literally every week on Brothers & Sisters. That particular TV taboo has long since been broken

Finally, have you seen the Betty White SNL yet?



This compilation is helpful for those of us who get around to these things later. I tried to watch yesterday on Hulu -- I can't be bound by air times! -- and then reading opinion pieces from around the web I realized that I'd somehow missed some of the skits. So I'm hoping this video has them all. Which was your favorite? I lol'ed about the census taker (the 'kitten' in Betty's lap... priceless) and "just let her stay home and lez". Teehee

The Link Side of the World

Hollywood News top ten movie stars (using term loosely perhaps? Tina Fey?) to emerge from SNL
Peel Slowly What's that a poster for? Can you guess which movies these Polish movie posters are selling?
Jon Hamm Mad Men Season 4 now filming. Yayyyyy

<--- Did you see that Russell Crowe got his star on the Walk of Fame this week? It's so random, the timing I mean, when stars receive theirs. A listers and D listers alike get them in surprising time frames. You'd think they'd tie this in with the release of Robin Hood (Cannes opening night film -- see the whole lineup) but in fact, it happened just as Tenderness arrives on DVD. No, I'd never heard of that either. Crowe in a straight to DVD release? What's that about? Maybe it did get theatrical release somewhere but it's rare that something with a star that high profile slips by unnoticed.

Cinema Blend Rachel Weisz as Jackie Kennedy. Oscar #2?
Rope of Silicon Martin Scorsese to make The Invention of Hugo Cabret as a 3D film
Roger Ebert kicks Kick-Ass 's ass. I love that he wrote this

Son of Birthday Suits

Celebrating the cinematic personalities born on 11/24. Even if you're not cinematic, you're probably a personality. Wish yourself a happy one in the comments. There's no way there's been no Scorpios (or now) Saggitarians reading. Speak up when it's your big day!

Garret, Shirley and 'Izzy'

1913 Geraldine Fitzgerald actress (Wuthering Heights, The Mango Tree, Rachel Rachel)
1942 Billy Connolly, comedian, actor, 'Mr. Brown' (he who was beloved by Judi Dench) and 'Barry' (he who was poisoned by Michelle Pfeiffer)
1949 Manuel De Sica composer (The Garden of the Fitzi Continis), Son of Vittorio
1954 Emir Kusturica two-time Cannes winning Serbian filmmaker behind Underground & When Father Was Away on Business (Oscar nominee)
1964 Garret Dillahunt, terrific actor who has lately specialized in the skin-crawlingly creepy (The Road, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles) and the endearingly pathetic (No Country For Old Men and The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford) but a blog post to whoever can tell me what the hell movie that photo is from up top!?!
1965 Shirley Henderson helium voiced actress, who billions will recognize as "Moaning Myrtle" but she's been quite memorable in some films like Topsy Turvy, Yes and Miss Pettigrew...
1977 Colin Hanks, Son of Tom
1978 Katherine Heigl "difficult" actress... though sometimes that's code word for "won't suffer fools". The difficult ones are sometimes well regarded after the fact (see: Bette Davis) but that's not until the dust settles. Think Katherine is burning too many bridges or just warming up her inner screen fire?

And finally today is the 93rd anniversary of the birth of Irwin Allen, multihyphenate "master of disaster". He's the 70s force behind The Towering Inferno, The Poseidon Adventure and less heralded TV films with wonderfully literal titles like "Fire!" and "Flood!".

Roland Emmerich is not his direct descendant, biologically speaking, but you're forgiven if you assumed so. The 2012 director is also fond of staging epic disasters and end of civilization scenarios (The Day After Tomorrow, 10,000 BC, Independence Day). Who saw and loved that Palin 2012 spoof on SNL? You have to laugh or you'll be too terrified to go on living.

Politics As Usual

a political rant. skip if such things offend.

I didn't write much about Michael Moore's Sicko when it came out but now I'm wishing I had. He's got a new film on the way Capitalism: A Love Story and that's a great idea for a follow up. One might even call it a sequel, though I doubt it's intended to be (more on that in a minute). Here we are two years later and people are still denying the obvious... when systems are broken they need fixing. I'm not sure that Capitalism is broken exactly but it sure is sickly. It's been on an all sugar immediate satisfaction diet and now it has diabetes. Healthcare is broken. How much more fulfilling could people's lives be if their decisions about how they would contribute to society did not have to come down to "which mega corporation can I work for so my family can (possibly) get medical treatment if something terrible happens?"

That rabid right wing site Big Hollywood has a post up by a former SNL cast member I used to like (oops) Victoria Jackson. She always played dumb blondes. I had no idea she wasn't acting. In the post she claims that up is down and down is up and then goes on to prove that it is (only not in the way she thinks) by completely blaming our nation's financial woes on policies that have not even taken effect yet. I already knew that extreme right-wingers weren't exactly reality based thinkers -- I grew up in a very conservative home. I'm familiar with the thought processes -- but I was not aware that they had now invented time machines! What upsets me more than basic economic stupidity (I'm not exactly a math pro myself so I can be forgiving there) is the absurd and damaging attacks the Republican loonies are always making on universal health care. They want the system as is, the system that only benefits insurance companies and not people. Republicans like to scare Americans into thinking that socialized medicine kills people. I suppose they assume Americans are dumb enough to imagine that the streets of Canada, France and England are continually overflowing with dead bodies. The scare tactic question they love to ask is this "Do you want the government making decisions about your health?"

You know, that's actually a good question. But what they fail to ever acknowledge is that none of us, save the extremely wealthy, get to actually make these decisions for ourselves. The insurance companies make them. Didn't these people see Sicko? (Oh right, they didn't. They rejected it out of hand because Michael Moore -- their idea of an 'evildoer' -- made it). The insurance companies are only responsible to their shareholders and guess what? FACT: Our best interests when we need medical treatment are in direct opposition to the best interests of shareholders. The more money they pay out for our health, the less profit they have to split. I'll take my chances with the government, thank you. At least when they screw up, I can attempt to vote them out of office. And, theoretically speaking, the government's best interest (gross domestic product) is not in direct opposition to the health of the population.

I'd like to propose some legislation: From this day forward, crazy Republicans like Victoria Jackson should have to dig the graves (bare handed) of each person who dies because they couldn't get the medical services they needed.

May Flowers, Patricia Clarkson

May Flowers, weeknights @ 11:00

It's the last Mother's Day post of the year. Hope you had a great day or chat with your mom.

Patty Clarkson and Susan Sarandon were already personal heroes of mine. And now co-starring in this "Mother Lover" digital short opposite Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake? Priceless... especially given that Susan has always been viewed as a saucy minx, no matter what her age (I suspect it has a lot to do with those "Damnit Janet!" origins) and Patty is a saucy minx in real life (trust me, I've seen her in person twice)


I especially love Patty's frumpy skipping with a single daisy in this video. Patty as frumpy mom. Now that's ACTING because Patty is anything but frumpy.

sigh, I ♥ Patty so hard!

Do not watch this video if you are easily offended.

Mia Farrow Dwindles

Mia Farrow is not eating and not for the shallow maddening reasons that actresses generally avoid solids. I am concerned. I'll let her do the talking from her 21 day hunger strike...

Today is the ninth day for me with no food, only water. I am still protesting the expulsion of humanitarians from all of Sudan (including, of course, the Darfur region and the refugee camps). Please call the White House (202-456-1111) and tell President Obama to help get humanitarian groups back in Sudan.

While I'm fully aware that desperate ploys like hunger strikes can garner media attention, Steve McQueen's Hunger is too fresh in the mind for this not to give me nightmares. Call me selfish but I don't like to lose great actresses before it's absolutely necessary to do so. Farrow's current standing in cultural hierarchies of movie stars is very low -- people don't talk about her -- but that rich filmography full of great performances will raise public regard after her eventual death. It would have to. That said: that eventual death doesn't need to arrive anytime soon. She's only 64.

Gabriel Stauring is quoted in the LA Times:

There’s no way she can go that long without doing permanent damage. We want to convince her that if we have somebody else that is famous and that would draw attention, that she should stop.

I don't mean to be glib or disrespectful -- I hate it when civilians trash über rich celebrities for trying to improve the world, an impulse that's totally part of the Bitch Pleeze snark phenomenon that we're all guilty of from time to time -- but can't Mia just do what other actors do and use movies as her soapbox? I'm not well versed in the disheartening situations in Darfur and Sudan. I've never called the White House before but I'm tempted. I'm also tempted to cook her omelettes and grilled cheese sandwiches (the extent of my culinary skills) and messenger them her way every day until she starts eating.
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Kristen Wiig as Björk

Somebody give her the Oscar. Or, okay, the EMMY. She was so funny in her brief bit in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, too.