Podcast: Post-Oscar Season 2 Finale

For the final podcast, the original gang is back together: Nick, Joe, Katey and yours truly, Nathaniel. We'll be back soon for a new season but this time we close out the film year with the final discussion of Oscar's 2009/10 hoedown throwdown. You can download the podcast through Mediafire or Rapidshare. We're quite gabby this time (72 minutes) so bear with us as we pick apart the Oscar ceremony in our usual train-of-thought manner. Among the topics:

• Neil Patrick Harris's opening number. Did it really happen?
• George Clooney escape from his famous attractiveness
• Secret love for Hope Floats
• Smug and sour bitches
  
• Up in the Air's shutout and Jason Reitman's Oscar future
  
• Barbra Streisand's diva shit
• Can loving Gabourey Sidibe be wrong when it feels so right?
  
• Avatar in 20 years. Did the Academy dodge a bullet?
• Shouldn't all of the acting presentations have been famous duos rather than current co-stars (like Pfeiffer & Bridges)?
• Hidden satirical messages
  
• Nick's competing Precious allegiances
• Navigating the difficult post-Oscar period
  

Once you're done listening, continue the conversation right here. Are you glad "the ten" is booked for at least three years?

Previous Oscar Night Reviews: Fashion | Party Fashions | Tribeca Review | Best Moments | Worst Moments | Lingering Questions | Lingering (Gay) Questions | Hug it Out With Jeremy Renner | 'The Money Shot'

"You've Never Always Seen Oscar Like This"

Advertising can be so misleading. The tagline for the 82nd Academy Awards was, "You've never seen Oscar like this!" But from the gaudy opening song to the mix of new and old Hollywood presenters through time wasting dance numbers, scripted "banter," and clip montages, it was more like, "You've always seen Oscar like this!"

To be fair, there were some tweaks to ancient traditions. We don't normally get to see the Lead Actor and Actress nominees until late in the show, except in reaction shots, but the producers made a savvy decision to showcase the biggest stars instantly. Just as soon as the show had begun, all ten walked out to smile at the cameras in their gowns and tuxes; bubbly Precious star Gabby Sidibe stole that moment by adding diva posing to her close-up. The show also jettisoned the Original Songs performances, though in their place was a lengthy and frankly confusing interpretative dance number featuring the Original Score nominees. Why, pray tell, was Up accompanied by "the robot"—WALL-E was last year's Pixar movie—and what did the "pop-n-lock" say about The Hurt Locker???

Read the rest at TRIBECA FILM.

That's the last of my weekly Oscar columns for Tribeca Film (sniffle). The season is done. For the finale, I'm talking about the mixed messages Oscars always presents from Art vs. Commerce to Performance vs. Politics.

Also right here... Oscars in Review: worst & weirdest moments, most wonderful moments and all 09/10 awards season posts
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The Money Shot

Dave here, just noting that the finest moment of last night surely came before the ceremony had even begun. When the star of Precious met the somehow ever-present Ryan Seacrest (tell me, Americans, is he on every single show you have?)...

"If fashion was porn, this dress is the money shot."

Gabourey Sidibe might not have won the Oscar many might claim should have been hers (I begrudge Sandra Bullock nothing, but count me in that camp), and maybe she'll never be back here again, but with lines like that her wish to move into comedy - with TINA FEY (please pay attention Tina) - makes more sense than anything else I heard last night. Let's hope she doesn't sink into obscurity; or, worse, take over from Queen Latifah. (That girl's getting old after all.)

Precious Day: A Conversation With Lee Daniels

With 10 days until Oscar, it's time for theme days. Today's special: Precious.

A couple of days ago I had the opportunity to speak with director Lee Daniels of Precious fame. He was in the middle of a commute from one campaign destination to another. He's not running for public office but Best Director (though that's nearly our favorite sort of public office, don'cha know. What's more public than the Oscars?). From roughly October through February, the Oscar grind devours people: festivals, speaking engagements, parties, premieres, awards shows, travel. I imagine you get through it by way of adrenaline, the psychological boost of a coveted nomination from your peers (or the chance of one prior to January), and sheer force of will. A good sense of humor can't hurt. Daniels definitely had one, laughing at the connection glitches we had and riffing on misheard words that come with interviews on the go-go-go.

Jan 2009 and Jan 2010: Lee and Gabby at Sundance and the DGA event

It's late February 2010 and he's been pushing Precious, in one way or another, for years now. In our chat he amiably conveyed (elated) exhaustion. Though he noted a strong desire to "get my life back in order, get my head clear" before the next project, he was definitely in high spirits. If he were an actual politician I could only imagine that he'd be great at campaign promises, handshaking and kissing babies.

Here are some highlights from our conversation.

[He had just spoken with a university cinema class]
Nathaniel: Do you suddenly feel more authoritative about it after all the Oscar attention? Like 'I AM AN OSCAR NOMINEE!'
Lee: [Laughter] Here's the thing. I don't feel more authoritative but they seem to feel that I have more authority.

[On directing actors]
Nathaniel: What do you feel you did to pull that amazement out of them? Mo'Nique's performance... I still can't wrap my head around it.
Lee: I think there was a level of very deep trust. Trust is very hard to come by. Actors have been burned by directors that um... well, inevitably they're guarded. It's rare that an actor trusts and opens their soul up to a director. I think that's what Mo'Nique did. And Gabby didn't know any better [Laughter]
Nathaniel: She hadn't had the opportunity to be burned yet!
Lee: There was a deep respect and trust there. It was a magical experience. I hope to have it again.

[On the campaign trail with the directors]
Nathaniel: I think it was Quentin Tarantino that said all of you director nominees were spending so much time together you could start a rock band?
Lee: It's really sick. It's like being in production with these clowns. I love them. We've gotten to become almost like a frat pack. They're terrific people. Like, I can't even be upset if someone wins outside of me. I can't believe I'm even saying that. But that's how I feel because I've grown so fond and respectful of each of them. We started out wanting to win -- I certainly do want to win -- but I'd be okay if any of my other posse wins because they deserve it. They've been so supportive of me and I've learned so much from them on this journey. It's an amazing once in a lifetime experience. Well, I don't know if it's once in a lifetime. I hope not!

[On weathering the backlash]
Nathaniel: ... if there's too few representations of one type of thing it takes on extra weight rather than just being a movie. Precious becomes a Black Movie rather than a movie.
Lee: I'm sort of over it. I'm over it being... At first, you really want to have people talking so it doesn't matter. But then it spreads like a virus almost. You find yourself defending your work. I don't have to defend my work.
Nathaniel: It's already thematically provocative enough without having to deal with being a representation of race. Child abuse... that's plenty to discuss. It's such a potent movie that I kind of wish that people wouldn't put all that extra weight on it.
Lee: The people that continue to... I think they have issues of their own. I think we have, as African-Americans, we really strive to be Obama. And in those aspirations we forget the Preciouses of the world. We don't want to be a part of that. We don't want to know that. We don't want to see that. We don't want to be reminded of that. Guess what? We are that. That's where we're coming from. If we're not from the projects we're a generation away from the projects. No African-American is not a generation away from the projects, from that world. You can't really grow as people until you understand yourself and see yourself. So, that bothers me. It bothers me more that I have been reduced to even articulating those thoughts.


[On the Production Design by Roshelle Berliner... He was very pleased I brought it up, since it's one of the technical elements of the movie that people haven't been discussing.]
Nathaniel: The reason I bring it up is that shot of the stairwell inside the apartment when Mary is yelling up at Precious. That shot! I just think the production design was very smart. Did they come to you with these ideas or did you find a place?
Lee: I knew exactly what I wanted. Everything in that apartment was replicated from a hodgepodge of apartments that I lived in and grew up in Philadelphia. In Harlem and in New York -- especially in the projects -- its hard to find an upstairs/downstairs apartment.
Nathaniel: I live in Harlem so that two-story thing was shocking to me but I loved the art direction of the apartment.

[On Gabourey Sidibe as Precious]
Nathaniel: One of the things I like most about the movie is how small, in a way, Claireece's character arc is: she doesn't have to conquer the world she just has to learn to read and step away from that environment. That reads like this huge emotional triumph -- which it is! -- but in the grand scheme of movie plots, so to speak, that's really small. Since she was a new actress, did you have to talk to her a lot about the modulation of the arc?
Lee: No, no. Complete natural... she was a complete natural. What we had to do was just find it. She's so good that she found it and then some. We didn't shoot in chronological order. Precious grows as a person that's not to a person that is literate. And she grows as a spirit because of Ms. Rain and the girls. In my head I had the arc from A to Z sort of planned out. Gabby doesn't know Precious and that's what's so beautiful about the acting that she was able to find her; Her voice was deeper, her posture was slouched, she walked slower, she moved her eyes barely. And then slowly she blossomed. I'm not good at order, my memory is pretty shot, and so Gabby would remember exactly where this girl was supposed to be at exactly the right time. You can't do it alone. It really was the two of us finding her.

~the end~

And find her they did... and they uncovered Oscar nominations, too. Those are often tricky to find. Congratulations to the cast and crew of Precious.

Lee Daniels' next project is rumored to be Selma which may star Robert De Niro as Governor George Wallace in Alabama during the struggle for civil rights. Generally speaking, I'm not big on bios or true stories, but I'm curious. Shadowboxer, Daniel's first, was a bizarre film but it was idiosyncratic in ways that made you wonder where the 'man behind the curtain' might be coming from. Precious was obviously a huge step forward artistically and career wise. Will you be there for round three?

Precious Day: What Will Gabby & Mo'Nique Wear?

<-- the Precious ladies at Sundance (even Sapphire!) 13 long months ago

Fashion rundowns of awards events tend to ignore the plus sized ladies (and the plus age ladies) but why should we? Mo'Nique hasn't been attending every event this season --thankfully the misplaced bizarre fury about that died down -- but when she shows up she aims to impress, baby. Gabby, on the other hand, has been working the campaign trail so hard one wonders how she's managing it and still effervescent through all. Maybe they have her 4 hour sleep rations?

Here's a brief history...

THE WARMUP

From left to right, January through September: Gabby hits a movie premiere (not her own) before fame truly hits; Monique attends the NAACP and the Essence Awards after Sundance (before all the "she won't campaign!" business hits which coincides with her busy summer touring and working on her new talk show); Gabby enjoys the spotlight (still a fresh feeling) at the Cannes premiere in a busy black evening gown; Gabby in bright orange for the TIFF premiere (not an easy color for red carpets. Be warned!) and Gabby at another premiere (not her own). I like those two dress down looks and I'm wondering if maybe she should approach the Oscars with more of a youthful funky spirit?

CAMPAIGN SEASON


From October 2009 to February 2010, it seems like Gabby showed up to virtually everything: film festivals, special galas, multiple premieres, talk shows, guild awards. I bet she logged as many miles in four months as Up in the Air's Ryan Bingham himself! Don't you kinda dig that Morticia-ish dress on top left? Go Fug Yourself wrote up her white dress from BAFTA on the bottom right. Gabby's fallback color: purple. Might we see her in it at the Oscars? Hmmm, she's never worn it to the biggest most glitziest events.

REHEARSAL DINNERS


Whatever will they wear to the THE MAIN EVENT?

Care to make a prediction? Often times -- and this has precious little to do with Precious -- I fantasize about the Oscars being a costume party for the nominees, wherein they have to come in character. I don't really wish this on Gabby, since it's so refreshing to see her bubbly and happy as Gabby rather than Claireece. But part of me can't get enough of Mo'Nique in that hideous floral onesie and part of me thinks that her final ensemble, recalls the turban and fur wrap of a Grand Actress Throwback as much as it can for a movie set in 80s Harlem. Fitting rather since Mary Jones is Acting her way through that social worker showdown. As is Mo'Nique.



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Happy Valentine's Day! Best Actress Quiz

UPDATED: Now with answers at the bottom of the post

The following quiz is a random assortment of questions inspired by onscreen romances of the Best Actress nominees this year. Though not all of the questions are romantic in nature (murder, abuse and general movie questions also appear) we tried to start there. How many can you answer? The first person to answer each person gets credit when we update with the answers on Monday.

Bullock
Sandra Bullock plays adoptive mother and football fan Leanne Tuohy in The Blind Side. She's happily married to country star Tim McGraw in the film. In her other big hit this year, The Proposal her marriage with employee Ryan Reynolds is a business transaction.

1. Which of Sandra's former co-stars is actually married to a country star. And which movie did they star in together?
2. Which two-time co-star of Sandra's was romantically involved with the actress she was constantly compared to? Who am I talking about and what are their films together?
3. The Proposal isn't Sandra's first romantic comedy with an inappropriate work-place relationship. Name another.
   

Mirren
Perpetually randy screen goddess Dame Helen Mirren tempts her would-be celibate husband with goofy bedroom games in The Last Station.

1. Mirren has played a temptress many times. What's her most infamous film?
2. In which film did she bear the child of her half brother?
3. On which film did Mirren meet her husband?

Mulligan
Carey Mulligan plays Jenny, a 16 year old girl in An Education romanced by a much older man. Though most people are hearing about Carey now, she's been in the movies since 2005.

1. In Mulligan's debut film her onscreen sister was illicitly romanced by an older man. Name the movie.
2. Mulligan has only made 6 films but she's already co-starred with several Oscar nominees. Which of her former co-stars was also nominated for an Oscar this year?

Sidibe
Gabby Sidibe made a stellar debut in Precious. Since it's her first film she's only had two screen romances and both of them were imaginary, one with her 'light skinned boyfriend with real nice hair' and one with the math teacher she fantasizes about. Otherwise her character's sex life has been horrific. Sweet Lenny Kravitz as a male nurse is the first man to show her (chaste) affection.

1. Her imaginary boyfriend's name in the credits to Precious is "Tom Cruise". Has the actual Tom Cruise ever co-starred with any of this year's Best Actress nominees. If so, name the film.
   
2. In a sad coincidence, the actor who plays Precious's beloved math teacher has also played a child abuser. Can you name the film? His onscreen victim in that film was Golden Globe nominated just this year.
   
3. Lenny Kravitz has had plenty of sexy time in videos if not on film. Which two famous 90s actresses, neither of whom had Sidibe's success with awards show voters, have sexed it up in his music videos?

Streep
Meryl Streep jokes about being "a bit of a slut" in It's Complicated but two lovers in one movie is hardly slutty. It's the norm since many romantic movies have love triangles. In her Oscar nominated role in Julie & Julia she's even less of a harlot. For decades she has only had eyes for Stanley Tucci.

1. In which two films was Streep actually a bit of a slut? (i.e. more than two lovers)
   
2. One of Streep's most passionate onscreen romances was with a very famous actor who has also played the husband of one of Streep's fellow Actress nominees. Which actor and which two films am I referring to?
   

Extra Credit

1. Which of these nominees first tasted real fame by playing a role that had already taken another actress to a Best Actress nomination at the Oscars?
2. Which of these nominees played a role that another actress received a supporting actress nomination for playing?
3. Which two of these Actress nominees have been directed by the same man? [There's at least two correct answers]
   
4. Which of these Best Actress nominees has been killed by one of this year's Best Actor nominees in another movie?
5. Which two of these actresses both did voice work for the same animated film?

More on the Best Actress race. A shorter visual quiz if this one has stumped you: Who sent these Valentine's Day Cards? If you'd like to read previous posts on these actresses, click on the labels below.

THE ANSWERS

Bullock

1. Nicole Kidman (Practical Magic) is married to Keith Urban
2. Benjamin Bratt (Miss Congeniality, Demolition Man) was once Julia Roberts's man
3. Two Weeks Notice with Hugh Grant

Mirren

1. the X-Rated Caligula (1979)
   
2. Excalibur. She plays the wicked Morgana, mother to King Arthur's bastard son Mordred
3. White Nights with Mikhail Baryshnikov. Her husband is Taylor Hackford, who directed that film. He also directed her in the forthcoming whorehouse drama Love Ranch (2010)
   

Mulligan

1. Pride and Prejudice (1995)
   
2. Colin Firth (And When Did You Last See Your Father?)
   

Sidibe

1. Tom Cruise co-starred with Meryl Streep in Lions for Lambs
2. That'd be Mysterious Skin wherein the fine actor Bill Sage, who played Precious's math teacher, played the coach who abused Joseph Gordon-Levitt in his youth.
3. Gina Gershon ("Again") and Heather Graham ("American Woman") starred in his music videos -- the first one is curious. Gershon isn't sexy enough for someone? IMPOSSIBLE!
   

Streep

1. Mamma Mia! Three guys in one week? Who is Amanda Seyfried's babydaddy?
2. Plenty. Meryl is a bonkers gal who is continually lovin and leavin' em in this post war drama. Super hot (by which I mean ice cold) sex scene with Sting. (review)
   

Extra Credit

1. Pre-Speed, Sandra Bullock starred in the television series adaptation of Working Girl, playing Melanie Griffith's role.
2. Sandra Bullock again playing Truman Capote's fellow author friend Harper Lee in Infamous. Catherine Keener was Oscar nominated for that same role in the similar Capote (2005).
3. Barbet Schroeder directed both Bullock (Murder By Numbers) and Streep (Before and After)
   Lee Daniels directed both Mirren (Shadowboxer) and Sidibe (Precious)
   Robert Altman directed both Mirren (Gosford Park) and Streep (A Prairie Home Companion)
4. Jeff Bridges buried Sandra Bullock in The Vanishing (1993). He wasn't a nice guy.
   
5. Mirren and Bullock were part of the massively star heavy voice cast list for the animated Biblical epic The Prince of Egypt (1998).
   

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Best Actress, Oscars Ballot and My Own

I love actresses too much.

It makes life complicated for me emotionally. I fuss and fuss and fuss and refuse to fill out my Best Actress ballot each year because I don't want to leave any of my favorite ladies out. I don't want to hurt any of their (imaginary) feelings. Oscar, on the other hand, doesn't mind leaving my favorites out. They do it all the time.

The Oscar Nominees

• Sandra Bullock, The Blind Side
• Helen Mirren, The Last Station
  
• Carey Mulligan, An Education
  
• Gabourey 'Gabby' Sidibe, Precious
  
• Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

In truth, I like all five of those performances. I think they're all good and better than the films that house them and they all strike me as very "right"... at least in terms of the idea that the Oscar lists are essentially an industry stamp, a group pronouncement of "This is what we do and value!". You've got the big stars in biopics (Meryl & Sandra), the breakout sensation (Mulligan), the old pro who could do this in her sleep but does it very very very well you have to admit (Mirren) and the magical debut (Sidibe).

I want Meryl Streep to win.

I've made no secret about that. I'm tired of waiting for that third Oscar to come and she's just delightful in Julie & Julia even if it's no patch on something like The Devil Wears Prada which she should have won for (I'm sorry but what she accomplished there was far beyond what Helen Mirren was doing in The Queen). But she didn't make my list (just barely). See what I mean about complicated emotions?

Whatever the outcome of Oscar's race -- and I can feel myself checking out on Best Actress in particular (my favorite category) -- because if Streep isn't going to win I'm so not interested. (I think Bullock's nomination is cute in a Big Hollywood way. But all the wins make me nauseous. That's taking it way too far. I see Roberto Benigni dancing on chairs again and everybody being embarrassed about their gigantor-obsession almost immediately after the house lights go up.)

My Favorite
But it's all beside the point anyway. I knew the Oscar year would be ruined for me the minute I saw Tilda Swinton in Julia some months ago.


I knew she'd barely be in the conversation come awards season but not only do I think it's the best performance of 2009, I think it's the best performance of 2008 AND 2009... (and maybe 2007, too). That's how great it is. Gold medal! Sorry to give the game away. And though I knew my favorite iconoclastic actress would barely be in the conversation I was and still am shocked that not one critics group could give it up for her. That's forty(proof) kinds of crazy. That's as crazy, reckless, incompetent and dumb as Julia herself! It's even dumber than Julia once you add in the widespread inexplicable shunning of Abbie Cornish in Bright Star. Look, I love Emily Blunt so don't take this the wrong way. She's done more for me than Abbie Cornish (in general) but no way was she more deserving of year-end attention for her costume parade than Cornish was for hers.

MY BALLOT

a drunk criminal, an illiterate victim, a precocious schoolgirl,
a barefoot psycho and a lovestruck seamstress

And yours?

P.S. You can now vote for your favorite among the Oscar nominees on the Best Actress page.

P.P.S. My 15 favorite lead actresses of the year (in alpha order) at this particular moment.


I didn't see everything obvs. And, oh crap, I know who I forgot already...

P.P.P.S. Have you O.D.ed on actressness just reading all of this?
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The Hurt, Precious, Inglourious, Crazy, Complicated, Blind, Single, Serious, Up-in-the-Air 2010 SAG Awards Liveblog!

txt critic liveblogs SAG

Greetings all. I've just returned from my shitty movie day with my Quizno's, Tasti Delite and Orville Redenbacher in tow, ready and super-pumped for this evening's festivities. Feel free to chime in with any thoughts along the way!

6:17 EST: Revelation from Giuliana Rancic: "Guys, when TV stars and movie stars mix, anything can -- and usually does -- happen."

6:31 EST: She just suggested to Ed Helms that Susan Boyle appear in the "Hangover" sequel.

6:32 EST: Tracy Morgan: "Morgan Freeman could be my daddy."

6:35 EST: Ross the Intern just asked Carey Mulligan "Where is Shia LaBeauof tonight?" and she looked flustered and said "I don't know" (i.e.: "You're not allowed to talk about that"). Awkwaaaaaard.

6:50 EST: Questions are being asked about what Ryan Seacrest does in steamrooms.

6:57 EST: Apparently, the first award of the evening -- for Best Stunt Ensemble -- has been given to "Star Trek."

6:58 EST: Tina Fey just confronted Giuliana with "Are you one of the ones who took a big steaming crap on me last week?" Effing Awesome. For the record, I don't care what anyone says, I LOVED that dress.

7:08 EST: You know you're stoned when you see a commercial for "Valentine's Day" and think for the first time: "Hm, maybe that won't be so bad."

7:12 EST: Me still no likey Jon Hamm + beard

7:19 EST: Whoa, Meryl Streep is wearing a beautifully ugly dress. LOVE it.

7:25 EST: "An Education" seems to be buying a lot of TV spots for this E! pre-show. I know a lot of people who love it. I am not one of them.

7:39 EST: Is it wrong that I completely forgot about the TV awards? I totally associate the SAG awards with movies.

7:47 EST: Gabby Sidibe appears to be WILDLY drunk, and confirms her place as my favorite person at these awards. She just confessed that she's never watched the SAG awards.

7:55 EST: Holy hell. Why do I still get surprised when Helen Mirren shows up somewhere looking sexy as shit?

7:59 EST: Adam Lambert, diva that he is, is the last guest to show up before the awards start. Wait, why is he here?

8:04 EST: Jeremy Irons is wearing sunglasses indoors. Hrm, his pretentiousness is offset by his yellow-and-red bow tie.

8:07 EST: Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. Me say it's Baldwin, though him, Steve Carell and Larry David are all consistently great. I've never seen "Monk" or "Two and a Half Men," so I can't speak for Shalhoub or Sheen. And it's... Baldwin.

8:09 EST: Fuck, Christoph Waltz is handsome.

8:13 EST: Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. I've not seen "Samantha Who" or "The New Adventures of Old Christine." Noticing a theme? I don't really watch CBS except for Letterman. This will probably be Toni Collette. I'd be happy with Falco, Collette or Fey. Whoa, it's Tina Fey for "30 Rock"! Apparently, her 25th win from them.

8:14 EST: "I just want to take a moment to say to everyone at NBC... that we are very happy with everything. And happy to be there." So funny.

8:21 EST: There is currently a clip reel devoted to honoring/commemorating... Comedy. WTF? And set to the wackiest generic music you can imagine. I hate this.

8:23 EST: Man, Ray Romano just made a Kevin Bacon / Jon Hamm joke. Blech.

8:26 EST: Ensemble in Comedy Series. Even though I can't stop watching it, "Glee" consistently infuriates me. As great as the cast of "The Office" and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" are, this should really go to "30 Rock" or "Modern Family," currently my two favorite shows on TV. I'm sure it will be "30 Rock." And it's.... "Glee"?!?! Christ! Okay, I guess none of my issues with the show have to do with the cast, but still! Eh, as long as Jane Lynch gets an award, I can't complain that hugely.

8:28 EST: Gabby and Mo'Nique present a clip from "Precious" while holding hands. Me likey.

8:29 EST: Helen Mirren is presenting BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: James Gandolfini ("Where the Wild Things Are"), Peter Capaldi ("In the Loop"), Garrett Dillahunt ("The Last House on the Left"), Robert Duvall ("The Road"), Saul Rubinek ("Julia")

ChrIstoph Waltz will probably win this, and he deserves to, but I wouldn't be angry with Woody Harrelson. Christopher Plummer is a threat to win simply because he's old, but the performance really isn't deserving. Damon is fine in "Invictus," but basically just has to shout things in a huddle.

I happen to adore Stanley Tucci, but I seem to be one of the rare few who thinks he's AWFUL in "The Lovely Bones" (though I don't outright hate the movie). He just piles on affectation after affectation -- like talking with a weird speech impediment -- that it feels like a parody of an actor playing a serial killer.

8:32 EST: Yay, it's Christoph! This is a thoughtful, eloquent speech, but it's not the YouTube clip, outpouring of emotion or fireworks display supposedly needed at an early awards like this. Luckily, the performance is strong enough that he doesn't need to rely on anything else to be the Oscar winner.

8:39 EST: Outstanding Female Actor in a Drama Series. The nominees are Patricia Arquette, Glenn Close, Mariska Hargatay, Holly Hunter, Julianna Margulies, and Kyra Sedgwick. I've never seen one episode of any of these shows. Wow, do I not watch any Dramas?

8:41 EST: And it's Julianna Margulies. Okay.

8:45 EST: Male Actor in a Drama Series. Simon Baker, Bryan Cranston, Michael C. Hall, Jon Hamm, Hugh Laurie. Oh, I do watch "Dexter" and "Mad Men." I guess I do watch dramas, just not those boring, lady-driven TNT detective-esque dramas. Yay, Michael C. Hall! Though that Bryan Cranston clip reminded me that I need to start watching "Breaking Bad."

8:47 EST: I will try to cut down on my "An Education" hate, since I really don't hate it, but these clips just remind me that I don't understand what anyone is finding special about this movie. It's a nice, fairly entertaining, middle-of-the-road, learn-your-lesson movies made for grandmothers. But whatever I guess.

8:50 EST: Ensemble Cast in a Drama Series. Never seen "The Closer" or "The Good Wife" and I only half-watch "True Blood," but I love "Dexter" and "Mad Men." This should really be "Mad Men" .... and it is!

9:00 EST: As president of the SAG, Ken Howard is doing his duty by saying some very boring things for minutes on end. He was wonderful in "In Her Shoes."

9:02 EST: And now Sandra Bullock is beginning the presentation of the Lifetime Achievement Award to Betty White. Is it wrong that the former golden girl's appearance in "The Proposal" last year (ever-so-slightly) diminished the love I had for her?

9:18 EST: This "Extraordinary Measures" commercial seems to be advertising a much happier, smilier movie than the two-hour dying-children movie I saw this afternoon.

9:22 EST: Best Actress in a TV Movie or Mini-Series. This should really, really, really be Drew Barrymore. I always like her, but always find her more charming than actually thinking she gave a particularly special performance, but she was truly fantastic in "Grey Gardens." If this goes to her co-star Jessica Lange, it's purely because Lange is older..... Ahhh, awesome, it's Drew!

9:24 EST: Loved that speech. Even with all the "um, um, um," it clearly was coming from the heart. I don't presume to think we actually really 'know' any Hollywood celebrity, but she just seems like a genuine person.

9:27 EST: Best Actor in a TV Movie or Mini-Series. I didn't even hear of these films with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Tom Wilkinson, and alas I missed "Georgia O'Keefe," but Kevin Bacon was terrific in "Taking Chance." It will likely be him... and it is.

9:33 EST: In Memoriam. I know they do it at every single awards show every single year, but I really wish they'd stop doing the applause-meter thing.

9:36 EST: P.S. We're 96 minutes into a supposedly-two-hour-long awards show, and they've officially given out ONE film award.

9:41 EST: SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Catherine Keener ("Where the Wild Things Are"), Patricia Clarkson ("Whatever Works"), Marion Cotillard ("Nine"), Vera Farmiga (for "Orphan"), Melanie Laurent ("Inglourious Basterds")

Penelope was fun in "Nine" but she's playing the exact same role she won an Oscar for last year. I happen to love, love, love "Up in the Air" but count me among the few who doesn't think Vera was anything special in it. Sure, she's sexy and has great chemistry with Clooney, but I didn't think the role required a whole hell of a lot. Call me crazy. Kendrick and Kruger are deserving of their nominations, but not for the win. Mo'Nique will be winning this, and rightfully so.

9:43 EST: And like we all thought/knew, Mo'Nique won. She delivered a really excellent speech, to boot, one that seemed (to me) significantly more sincere than her Golden Globes one last Sunday.

9:51 EST: ACTOR IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Robin Williams ("World's Greatest Dad"), Nicolas Cage ("Bad Lieutenant"), Matt Damon ("The Informant!"), Tom Hardy ("Bronson"), Viggo Mortensen ("The Road"), Patton Oswalt ("Big Fan"), Sam Rockwell ("Moon"), Michael Stuhlbarg ("A Serious Man")

Honestly, anyone EXCEPT MORGAN FREEMAN would totally deserve this. Colin Firth was my personal favorite (though I didn't love the movie), but Clooney, Bridges and Renner are not far behind. Happy to see anyone win this, but it really should be (and will be) the long overdue Bridges. And unlike Winslet last year, it'll actually be for a deserving performance.

9:54 EST: Jeff Bridges for the win! Good for him. Meryl Streep encourages him to ignore the "Please Wrap It Up" cue.

9:56 EST: ACTRESS IN A MOTION PICTURE

In a just world, would've been nominated: Tilda Swinton ("Julia"), Ellen Page ("Whip It"), Catalina Saavedra ("The Maid"), Charlotte Gainsbourg ("Antichrist")

I want to see Gabourey Sidibe win this. Only her and Helen Mirren gave deserving performances, and Gabby is easily the best in the category. If Tilda had gotten nominated on the other hand... I still say if "Julia" had been put out by a distributor that had any money to support it (it was Magnolia), she would far and away be the frontrunner in this category. This will likely go to Meryl (snooze) or Sandra (cuts wrists). Thankfully, Carey Mulligan appears to have lost steam.

9:57 EST: Oh, fuck. Sandra Bullock. There are no words.

10:00 EST: Yes, yes, nice speech. But completely, completely undeserved. Just a little anecdote to share -- not saying it's related: I attended a SAG screening of "A Serious Man" a couple weeks back, and a gentleman behind me said to his screening partner that he was going to vote for Sandra Bullock even though he hadn't seen "The Blind Side," using the following rationale: "She's had such a long career, and she's always been good, as opposed to someone who just lucked into it like Precious."

10:01 EST: And Clooney clinches the best moment of the night by implying he's had sex with Betty White. And making the joke "An Education: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire." Interesting that he's presenting the category that his film was surprisingly snubbed from.

CAST IN A MOTION PICTURE

While Alfred Molina and Rosamund Pike rocked the shit, I generally don't think the ensemble of "An Education" is worthy of winning an award. I also think that, aside from Jeremy Renner, the cast of "The Hurt Locker" has been a bit overvalued. "Nine" -- don't make me laugh. This should go to "Precious" or "Inglourious Basterds," and dare I say, it will go to one of them.

10:02 EST: And it does indeed go to "Inglourious Basterds." I'm very happy about it, but somehow it seems inappropriate for Eli Roth to (again!) be the one accepting the award, considering he gives the worst performance in the film.

10:05 EST: And it's over. Well, to be honest, I enjoyed blogging this more than the actual awards, so I don't how all y'all who were just watching it felt. Either way, whatever the reason, I had fun, hopefully you did too. Now, I'm off to drink in the East Village, and I'll leave you with the following words:

VOTE 'NO' ON SANDRA BULLOCK FOR BEST ACTRESS.