Box Office Blather: Spectacles, Star Vehicles, Subtitles and Easy $

Year in Review Pt 1 of Many
It's time to wrap up 2010. You'll have to have patience since The Film Experience likes to do this piecemeal... and often! Let's do it every day at 10 AM or 10 PM or both when we magically have free time. How about that? We'll start with the US box office.

Box office hits get much coverage in the media so let's just dispense that basic "smash hit" list quick-like and move on to more interesting less covered seat-filler topics. All figures on all lists are up until the December 18th. And please go easy on any errors as I am unskilled at math is not my strong suit.



US Top Dozen

1. Toy Story 3 $415
2. Eyesore in Wonderland $334
3. Iron Man 2 $312
4. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse $300
5. Inception $292
6. The Commercial For Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt 2 $265
7. Despicable Me $250
8. Shrek Forever After $238
9. How to Train Your Dragon $217
10. The Karate Kid $176
11. Clash of the Titans $163
12. Grown-Ups $162

The list proves again - as in every year - that the American moviegoer has an extremely limited palette. There are only four types of films he/she will go to in droves: animated features, sequels/remakes (i.e. "franchises"), action/visual spectacles and broad comedies. It doesn't get more diverse until much further down the list. The only film in the year's top 25 that doesn't fit neatly into one of those four categories is Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island. So well done, Marty. That is a true accomplishment.

Subtitled Features
(I've included worldwide figures too for the sake of provenance)

1. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo [Sweden]  $10 (worldwide: $104)
2. The Girl Who Played With Fire [Sweden]  $7 (worldwide: $66)
3. The Secret in Their Eyes [Argentina]  $6 (worldwide: $33)
4. I Am Love [Italy] $5 (worldwide: $10)
5. The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest [Sweden]  $4 (worldwide: $40)
6. My Name is Khan [India]  $4 (worldwide: $41)
7. A Prophet [France] $2 (worldwide: $17)
8. Dabangg [India] $2 (worldwide: $3)
9. Kites [Miscellania] $1.6 (worldwide: $3)
10. Raajneeti [India] $1.5 (worldwide: $12)
11. MicMacs [France] $1.2 (worldwide: $16)
12. Golmaal 3 [India] $1 (worldwide: $2)

Beyond interest in the Swedish "Millenium" trilogy -- which dropped steadily with each film here and elsewhere in equal percentages -- it was tough going for international fare yet again. It seems like a different world entirely than when we regularly had a couple of substantial breakout hits a year (as recently as the mid Aughts). The only steady market seems to be Bollywood features, which regularly gross about a million with barely any media coverage. Oscar nominees are a far less stable subcategory. Despite more media coverage their grosses tend to be all over the place, ranging anywhere from $10,000 (Peru's Milk of Sorrow) to just over half a million (Israel's Ajami) to the $2 million range (France's A Prophet and 2009 holdover Germany's White Ribbon) to $6 million (the winner, Argentina's The Secret in Their Eyes). In other words it's a bit hard to imagine that the Oscar nomination does all that much more for the films than they could have managed on their own... unless they win. It's tough to quantify so it's aggravating that the studios seem to think that the first quarter is the only time to release the high profile foreign contenders. (It's like how the English language Oscar contenders all have to compete with each other for the same limited seasonal dollars from November through February. It's so weird.)

Next...?
Well, I was going to do a list based purely on original material but the list was so depressing (it was basically original material that could easily be confused for a remake) that I screamed abort! abort! and changed course immediately. Let's try this. Which DRAMAS, i.e. the things audiences mostly only want to see on their TVs now, were hits with moviegoers?

Top 12 Dramas (reality based i.e. no supernatural, genre or primarily action-focused stuff)

1. Shutter Island  $128 [debatable classification - remove it if you will]
2. The Town $92 [an action movie in a sense but mostly a drama]
3. The Social Network $91
4. Eat Pray Love $80
5. Dear John $80
6. The Last Song $62
7. Why Did I Get Married, Too $60
8. Secretariat $58
9. Letters to Juliet $53
10. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps $52
11. For Colored Girls $37
12. The American $35

On this list we see that quality matters far less than having a star in your movie; just don't expect big returns on investment since big stars cost $10+ million. Also: Amanda Seyfried and Tyler Perry are good bets for non-gargantuan but sturdy profits. The Social Network, a film without any action sequence, gooey romance or crime-angle, is a true anomaly. It's only here because it's awesome and topical. But being awesome and topical will only get you to around $90-100. It's interesting that The Social Network's box office is so similar to Brokeback Mountain's, another anomaly that had quality as its chief selling point. (GASP. What a crazy thing to bank on!)

Best Return on Investment???
This list is haphazard / insufficient using only production budgets vs. US distribution returns from box office mojo. In other words it's not so accurate (merchandising, foreign markets, DVD sales and the potential windfall of sequels all contribute to insanely costly movies making a lot of money... eventually. While marketing costs subtract from that profit margin all the while.) But I think the following list is interesting as a very blurry snapshot as to what films are profitable even before you factor in these other things.

1. Paranormal Activity 2 $84 gross = 28 times its budget.
2. The Last Exorcism  $41 gross =22.7 times its budget.
3. Easy A $58 gross  =7.25 times its budget.
4. Jackass 3-D $116 gross = 5.8 times its budget.
5. The Kids Are All Right $20 gross = 5 times its budget.
6. Twilight Saga: Eclipse $300 gross = 4.4 times its budget.
7. The Karate Kid $176 gross = 4.4 times its budget.
8. Diary of a Wimpy Kid $64 gross  = 4.2 times its budget. 
9. Despicable Me $250 gross = 3.6 times its budget. 
10. Dear John $80 gross  = 3.2 times its budget.

Black Swan, budgeted at $13 million may well join this top ten since it's already earned $15 million and it's only just finished its first weekend of wide release and once it wears off its opening week energy, presumably it'll get that Oscar nominee boost to keep it going.

If you include worldwide revenues and franchise potential the numbers would change. How to Train Your Dragon, for example, which cost $165 million to make and grossed $217 million doesn't sound that profitable until you factor in the foreign gross (another $277 million) and the eventual sequels ordered up, which will come into the world market with the most cost efficent marketing tool possible: familiarity. And some movies are far more profitable overseas: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo was budgeted at $13 million and has grossed $104 million worldwide, so only 10% of its gross is coming from America. But I was trying to make this as easy on myself as possible hence the US totals.

The year in box office. Crazy numbers. I'd be happy just making a really crappy "per screen average" figure this week. How 'bout you?

Finally..

It would... oh never mind. This post is long enough. What's the last movie you paid to see? Did you get your money's worth?

Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Mean Girls

Next Wednesday night is the Season 1 Finale of 'Best Shot". Together we'll look at the 1955 classic Night of the Hunter which --- well, if you've never seen it, you're in for a major film event. It's appropriately creepy for late October, too. Today, something lighter and flirtier.

MEAN GIRLS (2004)

God, she can be SO annoying.

Few movies from the Aughts have proved as delightfully durable as Mean Girls, the Tina Fey scripted Mark Waters directed comedy that introduced us to Queen Bee Regina George (a total "rock star" performance from Rachel McAdams) and her army of skanks, Gretchen (Lacey Chabert), Karen (Amanda Seyfried) and new girl Cady (Lindsay Lohan) -- "I love her. She's like a Martian" -- transferred in from Africa and experiencing the jungles of public education for the first time. On first viewing back in 2004, its debt to Heathers (1988), another comedy about evil life-ruiner hotties, seemed insurmountable in terms of New Classic! reaction. But Mean Girls has, in the past six years, more than proved its own worth and its own identity. In retrospect the two films feel very different in tone and aesthetic personality, with only the subject matter, mean girls, and über quotability to unite them.  In future years, the next great mean girl classic will be compared unfavorably to both of them.

The best filmmaking choice in the movie, aside from the inspired casting, might be the staging of every character intros. The entire principle cast gets fun intros with the best being reserved for the Queen Bee herself who is literally carried into the picture in slo-motion by her male admirers while a Greek chorus of students fills us in on who she is and why we should be in awe of her. It kicks off with the double conscience of the film Janis Ian (Lizzy Caplan) and Damian (Daniel Franzese)

"And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled. She may seem like your typical selfish back-stabbing slut-faced ho-bag but in reality she is so much more than that. She's the Queen Bee. The star. Those other two are just her little workers... "

. To underline her power, Missy Elliott is on the soundtrack also introducing her...

 "hey hey hey ♫ I'm what's happening."

And Rachel McAdams is indeed what's happening in Mean Girls (especially now that we've had to let our love for LiLo's brief sparkliness go).  Every time you watch it, her performance gets better. A lot of actresses can and have done deliciously bitchy but her deliciously bitchy has so many shadings from stickily sweet (is she for real? why do i want to believe this one moment) to casual bored privilege to tossed off power plays to embarrassment at any hint of runner up status to machiavellian rage spiked with tiny flashes of self-loathing (that Burn Book sabotage moment!). She's damn near unimproveable in the picture.

For best shot, I choose a two-part Regina moment...



I love how the camera tracks Regina through the hallway after she's hatched her brilliant revenge plan. She's regained control of her screaming rage we saw in the prior scene and she's just gliding through the hallways, with a neat hint of actressy athleticism. Gone is the sex kitten and in her place is the marathon runner.

The shot functions like a reverse Hansel & Gretel; the witch is leaving a bread crumb trail. In the bookend shot that follows (also pictured) the camera is still moving but the witch isn't. Witness her hungry self-satisfaction while she watches the children gobble up the crumbs. They're already baking in her oven!

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Finally, I have to end with a gymnasium moment because Amanda Seyfried just slays me as Karen Smith "one of the dumbest girls you'll ever meet".



This scene where Gretchen "apologizes" to her classmates -- 'I can't help it that I'm popular' -- always makes me cackle. Particularly because the punchline is so funny. Karen is watching Gretchen blankfaced and just opens up her arms to receive her friend while everyone else steps away. The funny thing about Karen is actually how innocent she seems, like a mean girl by accident of proximity and stupidity.


The "Best Shot" clique is so fetch

• Dean A believes in kissing cousins.
• Sorta That Guy maps it out for you.
• Okinawa Assault wonders what table you sit at?
• Serious Film thinks Daniel is too gay to function
• Pussy Goes Grrr had never seen the movie before!!!
• Antagony & Ecstasy goes to the mall and notices the gap. Not the Gap.
• Movies Kick Ass Whoa. great minds think alike. Jose and I both got caught up in the Wicked Witch of the North (Shore).
• Awkward is What We Aim For survives a three-way call.
• Andrew R appreciates a "cool mom"

 Previously on "Hit Me With Your Best Shot"

• Angels in America (2003), X-Men (2000), Showgirls (1995), Bring It On (2000), Black Narcissus (1946), A Face in the Crowd (1957), Pandora's Box (1929), Se7en (1995), Requiem for a Dream (2000) and La Dolce Vita (1960)

Related Reading

•  "Let me tell you something about Lindsay Lohan"

Halfway Mark: Screen Hotties of 2010

I blame the heat and nothing good in theaters but for the holdovers from previous weeks (go see Winter's Bone, I Am Love, Toy Story 3 and I Am Love if you haven't. Uh... I Am Love you're required to see twice, apparently -- Freudian typo!) for this week's Towleroad article. After assessing the Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man announcement I obsess over the Year in Screen Hotties (thus far).

Click over!

Since Towleroad is all about the Gay the list is men but since I'm an actressexual and since all the best people are at least bi-curious when it comes to the movies, you know I can't ignore the silver screen sirens. I haven't seen all of these movie but here's an incomplete overview of the year thus far.

The Girlie Show

Jan: Portia Doubleday torments Michael Cera (both of him) in Youth in Revolt. Kristen Bell can't pick a man in When in Rome. Can't pick screenplays either. Niche hotness, GMILF Edition: Helen Mirren wants her man crowing like a cock in The Last Station.

Feb: Amanda Seyfried, Our Lady of Annually Increasing Beauty, stars in Dear John. The Wolfman follows Emily Blunt's scent no matter the consequence; Who wouldn't? Uma Thurman turns men, not just man parts, to stone as Medusa in Percy Jackson.

Mar: Double Team Alert! Amanda Seyfried rocks Julianne Moore's world in more ways than one in Chloe. Plus, Dakota Fanning unleashes her scandalous Cherry Bomb whilst Kristen Stewart works a Bad Reputation in The Runaways. Niche hotness, Macrophile/Microphile division: Mia Wasikowska can't pick a dress size in Alice in Wonderland.

April: Erika Alexander is a boho honey in La Mission. Zoë Saldana holds a hot piece in The Losers. Niche hotness, Gothic division: Christina Ricci gets yet paler (c'est possible?!?) as a perpetually nude corpse in After.Life.

May: Ari Graynor's tongue brings ecstasy, albeit in pill form, to Holy Rollers. Scarlett Johansson wears ringlets and leather for Iron Man 2 and may or may not have speaking lines though no one can recall. Naomie Harris handles the first part of sex & drugs & rock and roll with her usual style. Love the 'fro in that first scene. Niche hotness, The Alex Forrest "I'm Not Going to Be Ignored" New Generations Award to Naomi "seduce & destroy" Watts in Mother and Child.


June: Colin Farrell's little mermaid is full grown Polish beauty Alicja Bachleda in Ondine. Please note how many reviews of Winter's Bone describe Jennifer Lawrence's long tresses and full lips in as much loving detail as her performance, even though the movie is about as far from "sexy" as a movie can be. Marisa Tomei is still working the 'dream girl for losers' track in Cyrus. Can you blame the losers? Tilda Swinton is a prized pale gold Russian collectible in I Am Love. Cameron Diaz in primary colors, yellow bridesmaid, red bikini for Knight and Day. Gina Gershon is a whore! (not a dancer) in Love Ranch... the less said about the rest of the movie, the better.

Which actors and actresses grabbed your eyeballs this year?
It doesn't have to be for, uh, performance reasons.

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Red Carpet Lineup: Tribeca Blowout

red carpet lineup. random celebs who've been out and about this week...

With Tribeca handing out their awards last tonight and me coming back to life (things have been crazy) I thought we'd talk about some people attending New York's glitzy festival. I'm asking a comment question in red for each of them because I'm "reader discussion guide" annoying like that. Maybe I should have been a T.A.? Tribeca doesn't have the same prestige or art-driven mentality as the far older New York Film Festival (always in the fall) but it does pack theaters all over town, offer up a diverse 'something for everyone' slate and bring out the celebrities in droves. To hawk their films. Though I did see Ben Stiller and Denis Leary as audience members at the religious satire The Infidel.

from left to right

• Ellen Barkin plays a sullen drug addict in The Chameleon and she'll start her Shit Year at Cannes next month in the Directors' Fortnight lineup. Is her career revving back up or is this another Oceans 13 false alarm. Do you care?
• Mark Ruffalo seems to be letting himself go. Maybe it's just a 'between projects' kind of thing. Though, when is he between projects? Always working. I'm already stealing myself for disappointment if he doesn't get the credit he deserves for sly great work in The Kids Are All Right. Will he ever be Oscar nominated?
  
• Kirsten Dunst is on the comeback trail despite being only 28. Today is her birthday! She was at Tribeca because she directed the short film Bastard. Are you rooting for her comeback?
  
• Melissa Leo can't say no. That's my theory because she's made 15+ movies since Frozen River (2008) -- no joke -- and she's in two miniseries this year too (including Todd Haynes' Mildred Pierce). Should she be saying yes to everything? Riding that Frozen River momentum til it stops paying dividends.
  

from left to right

• Andy Serkis came to town with his BAFTA nominated star turn in the rock bio sex & drugs & rock & roll. I wondered a few times if he could get any Oscar traction for it. Pro: there's the disability factor AND the biopic factor. Con: It's probably an unfamiliar rock story to most AMPAS voters and they like familiar. I admit I didn't know the story either. Do you know Ian Dury and The Blockheads?
  
• she who must not be named was in NYC for My Own Love Song. You know how I felt about the trailer but believe me I don't want to be this frightened to go near her work. In all honesty I was really hoping to get back on board but then came that trailer. I even tried to give her a new nickname Zeéeeee which is vowel-accurate and friendly-like. Are you rooting for her comeback?
• Christy Turlington is my favorite model of all time. But I realized sitting in the audience of her new documentary that it's weird to have a favorite model of all time. Because what can you do other than look at them? With favorite actors there's all sorts of imagination connection, storytelling, catharsis, etcetera. There I sat thinking "she's pretty" and my thoughts pretty much ended there. Unlike many of her supermodel peers from the 90s, she didn't try acting. But after marrying Ed Burns she is trying filmmaking. For a good cause though! Visit the website every mother counts. Have you a favorite model of all time ever?
  
• Patricia Clarkson starred in a travel drama called Cairo Time in which she misplaces her husband in Egypt. Somehow I missed it even though I love my Patty and also enjoy her co-star Alexander Siddig. Bad planning me. Why do people go to the desert on vacations?
  

from left to right

• Amanda Seyfried was starting her Letters To Juliet tour. Dominic Cooper walked her down the aisle -- I mean the red carpet -- for the premiere. Do you like them as a couple or do they give you painful flashbacks to Mamma Mia?
  
• Guy Pearce should maybe be hired for Christian Bale's health scare roles. I'm just sayin'. He was in town for a special screening and discussion of Memento. Do you love Memento?
  
• Sissy Spacek was promoting Get Low. I didn't like the movie -- which I saw before the festival and which most people do like for Oscar noms -- but it sure was nice to see her again in a substantial role. Still waiting for another In the Bedroom, though. What's your favorite Sissy? Other than Carrie I mean.
• <---Brian Geraghty was the unofficial poster boy of the 9th annual Tribeca Film Festival. He was a home invader in the erotic thriller Open House, a muscley redneck brother-in-law in The Chameleon and he also appeared in Kiki's short Bastard. It's like Melissa Leo's Frozen River longtail... only with The Hurt Locker. Thoughts?
  

Finis.
* Renée Zellweger

Oscar Night in Review: Worst and Weirdest

I've reviewed the ceremony in the thematic / abstract for Tribeca. So let's get a little more specific here for the big roundup (see also: most wonderful moments and fashion review ~ finis!). Worst and Weirdest Moments coming at'cha now. Whether you disagree or agree, I'd love to hear the moments that left you scratching your head or pissed off.

Worst Things About Oscars 09/10

6 Oscar's Weird Relationship To Youth. The Oscars have never been a youthquake. Institutions are primarily for adults and for kids who dream of growing up to become adults. Certain Young Hollywood stars fit right into the glamour -- the history even -- of the industry's big night. You can't have the movies without both the old guard and fresh faces, after all. Cue Lion King music... "It's the circle of life!" But you need to have the type of young stars that don't require mental gymnastics on the part of the audience when they see them inbetween closeups of true legends and A-List names. There's something about some young stars -- Amanda Seyfried or Dakota Fanning for example -- that exude "one day I may well be Old Hollywood". This is the type of young star that Oscar should embrace if it wants to reexert and maintain its own institutional force. Miley Cyrus has precious little to do with the cinema and it's hard to imagine that she actually cares about the history of Hollywood and her place in their pantheon. What can she possibly bring to the table that they need? Taylor Lautner did fine with the presenting -- he's a young professional -- but they were giving him closeup reactions like he was an actual movie star and he looked confused or nervous when he wasn't on stage, like someone who had stumbled in from a nearby prom.

I don't want to come off like an old grouch here. It's a nuanced point. The Oscars should have a smattering of young stars, but since it's an Establishment event... it kind of needs the young stars who are, well, Established. And not (potentially) one-role wonders that they've been told are the cool kids. I'm not saying "don't invite Taylor Lautner". I have nothing against Taylor Lautner. I'm saying "Invite Taylor Lautner when he's proven himself." Kristen Stewart can stay. I'm obviously not a fan but I won't pretend that she hasn't earned it. She's been directed by Sean Penn and David Fincher. She's carried whole movies. Some people think she's really talented. She can hold her own while locked in tiny claustrophic spaces with Jodie Foster. Etcetera.

5 Pete Docter's speech. It started off well "Never did I believe making a flipbook in my third grade math class would lead to this" but one thing sours his wins for me. Why does he never acknowledge his fellow nominees in any of his speeches? When you sweep (as UP has) it starts to seem ungenerous. In such a rich year for animated films (Coraline and Fantastic Mr Fox would have made completely valid winners) it seems self-absorbed at best and extremely bad form at worst to act as if other great movies don't exist.

4 Oscar's Shame. At first I was excited that Oscar was explaining the difference between sound editing and sound mixing to the audience at home (and the audience in the Kodak... who *ahem* need the same education). But The Dark Knight? Why not illustrate with, um, this year's nominees?!!! Stay focused, Oscar! You could see the phantom image of the Academy's collective tail, still stuck between its legs. Exactly how many years are they going to apologize for passing that one up? The Academy makes a lot of bad choices, sure, but don't we like the Academy better when they aren't so obviously sheepish. Confidence --even when its unearned -- is often sexy. Groveling and pandering never are.

The John Hughes Club: Matthew Broderick, Macauley Culkin, Ally Sheedy,
Molly Ringwald, Judd Nelson, Jon Cryer and Anthony Michael Hall

3 The John Hughes tribute. He definitely made an impression on my generation. I'd never deny that. I grew up reciting The Breakfast Club and I love it to this day. But the Academy doesn't even do lone tributes for Oscar winners after they've died and John Hughes was never even nominated. It was an uncharacteristic moment, immediately casting strange shadows on cinematic giants that they've never given this treatment too. Yet another instance of the Academy protesting too much... "see, we DO like Popular Films! We DO!"

They're just so scared to be themselves these days.

2 Interpretative Dance. They gave up Best Original Song or the honorary Oscars....for this? Clue to the producers: This is the type of thing you can AND HAVE done before during the Best Original Song performances. Why omit one to have the other? Especially when interpretative dance numbers have even less to do with the movies than the aborted songs. And especially when you don't even know which movies you've decided to interpret. Why were you doing a tribute to WALL•E during the UP score? That's what the robot dance was for, right? Because there aren't any robots in UP. Was this a biting satirical jab at Pixar? "Your movies are interchangeable!"

1. the worst... Screw Old People! Roger Corman, Lauren Bacall and Gordon Willis. We see you... even if Oscar won't. Legends deserve better than standing and waving to the camera. F**k you producers!

Weirdest Things About Oscars 09/10

6 The Notably Absent. Old Hollywood and New Hollywood were amply represented but wasn't it weird that Legendary Hollywood and Current Hollywood weren't? Perhaps I should explain. Old Hollywood greats (roughly speaking the senior citizens) like Meryl Streep, Helen Mirren and Morgan Freeman were very present. So were newbies like Amanda Seyfried, Zac Efron and Carey Mulligan. We already know that the producers feared the wrath of teenagers should Lauren Bacall open her opinionated mouth. She had to go! But what about Current Hollywood? Was it just me or was there a distinct lack of the big stars in their mid 20s to early 40s? You know... the age range of stars that get the bulk of the leading roles? Maybe I was imagining it (possible) but the whole night felt a little like the demographic of the Best Actress category (minus Sandra Bullock).

5 Fact-Checking ... Anyone? Anyone? You'd think a show with a gargantuan production budget and phalanx of writers wouldn't have this problem but why did Samuel L Jackson get the details wrong about Beauty & The Beast (1991)? No, Samuel, Beauty & The Beast was not nominated for both Animated Feature and Best Picture. The animated feature category did not exist back then. And no Taylor Lautner, The Exorcist was not the last horror film to win favor with the Oscars. That scripted gaffe (not Taylor's fault obviously) was even stranger, followed as it was by a montage of "horror movies" (loosely defined) that included many Oscar favorites that were released AFTER The Exorcist... movies like Carrie, Silence of the Lambs, Jaws, and The Sixth Sense.

4 Amanda Seyfried + Miley Cyrus. Who thought to pair them? I'm convinced they're from different universes and I'm not talking about the light years between Pennsylvania and Tennessee. I loved Anthony Lane's bit in the New Yorker about their odd couple demeanor

Cyrus, who wore a perfectly respectable bustier but had inadvertently forgotten to put anything over it,came on to present an award in the company of Amanda Seyfried, and, in so doing, fluffed her lines. “We’re both kinda nervous, it’s our first time.” So saying, she tried to corral Seyfried into the fluff, inviting her to share the pain, but Seyfried, wisely, was having none of it, and shied backward, as if to say, “Enough with the both, sister.”

3 Fisher Stevens is an Oscar winner!
For those of you who are like "who?" It's okay. Perfectly understandable. But it was a weird moment for me. You see during the peak of Michelle Pfeiffer's career from roughly Fabulous Baker Boys through Batman Returns he was her boyfriend. Fisher withstood frequent hateful media comments, presumably for dating someone deemed so far out of his league. And he was further vilified when they broke up, presumably on account of infidelity.


But that's all ancient tabloid history. Now he is an Oscar winner and Michelle Pfeiffer is still... not.

Excuse me for a moment.

Stevens, who won for the dolphin-killing exposé The Cove, is obviously well connected and I didn't know this either. On the way to the stage for his thank you Woody Harrelson grabbed him and he exchanged looks with Meryl Streep. Who knew.

2 The Presenter Rut. What is with the Academy's utter inability to shake things up presenter-wise. They don't actually employ the same producers every year so why is it that we get the same presenters? What is it that makes Ben Stiller so attractive to them versus dozens of other famous comics? What is it that makes Cameron Diaz a "must have!"? Why is Queen Latifah the one black actress they regularly care about? Why do Tom Hanks and Barbra Streisand get so many chances to present biggie prizes? I'm not trying to be dense. I JUST DON'T GET IT. That town is swimming with legends. Los Angeles is where celebrities live. Tom Hanks and Barbra Streisand are not the only instantly recognizable cross generational celebrities on the planet. We've offered the producers numerous suggestions of very very famous people they've never used for Best Picture and they never take our advice. I mean Christ Almighty they've never even let actresses as famous as Meryl Streep or Jane Fonda do it. Or why not someone like Maggie Smith who is loved by the older generation as well as the young kids (see Harry Potter).

1...the weirdest. Sean Penn's AdLib.
It went like so...

I...um. I never became an official member of the Academy but the Academy and I do have in common that we manage to -- neglect to acknowledge the same actress in our own ways two years running. So I -- I'm going to start fresh with the Academy and acknowledge these wonderful actresses.

Maybe someone else has already explained this online but what the hell is he talking about? I have no idea. None. And I watch the Oscars religiously every year, and usually more than once!

Explain it to me in the comments, please!

Update: the best moments too. Thanks for sticking it out!

Yes, No, Maybe So: Chloe

We reduce movie trailers to yes/no/maybe so components. It's an expectation management system so that we can go in (mostly) neutral. Ac-cen-tchu-ate the positive ...and negative. My gimmicks are too complex!



In Atom Egoyan's latest feature, Julianne Moore hires Amanda Seyfriend (title character) to test her husband Liam Neeson. Didn't Julianne ever listen to Kate Bush's "Babooshka" growing up. Fidelity tests never end well.

YES.
Two hot women getting it on? Yes doubled. That particular male gene did not escape me. Although for a split second I flashed back to Boogie Night's "will you be my mommy?" scene with Amanda standing in for Heather Graham's Rollergirl (Amanda in skates? Mmmm). I blame Julianne's love of incestuous undertones for this hallucination!

NO.
Filmmakers still have trouble making our modern computer and cel phone heavy lives exciting onscreen. There's something about e-mail, chat, instant messaging, cel phones and web surfing that is defiantly anti-cinematic. I sincerely hope this isn't an hour of Liam and Julianne staring at LED screens, cross cut with sexygirldrama! by way of Amanda's cel phone. If so, it won't be any fun at all.

MAYBE SO.
"You think you can just buy me and then I'm just going to go away?"
On the other hand, Amanda as a Mean Girl again? Might be fun though can she do it, dramatically speaking? We know she can handle it comedically. It's just that she reads very sweet onscreen. This could go horribly wrong. It might be yet another film that is elaborated plotted just to demonize female sexuality somehow. And that's so tired. But maybe it's the trailer's overemphatic text tag-lining -- "SHE WILL BECOME EVERYTHING YOU FEAR" -- that's worrying me. It's making her look like a husband-hunting-homewrecking-baby-nursing-Moore-killing psychopath. And we don't need another one of those.*

Chloe opens on March 26th.
Are you a yes, no or maybe so on this one?

Once again, Julianne... You shoulda listened to Kate Bush! Kate Bush is the answer. Kate Bush knows.

♪ Oh Lord. Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka yah yah-aaah ♫
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*I still hate Rebecca DeMornay for rigging that glass house to chop Julianne to bits in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. You don't touch my Julie!

Best Supporting Actor Babies

Babies as in... when they were young.... when it all began.

For my weekly column at Towleroad I ended up in some sort of retro mental loop, obsessing about how the careers of the nominees kicked off. I restricted myself to Best Supporting Actor or I would've been typing for hours.

I also admit a wee perverse desire to see Dear John but so far I've stayed strong.

If you've seen any of the supporting actor nominee's debut movies, please speak up. I don't remember Matt Damon being in Mystic Pizza at all. Do you?
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Vanity Fair "Dolls"

It's that time of year again. Vanity Fair refers to these nine actresses as "dolls" and we're certainly not here to dispute their smooth porcelain loveliness (the median age here is 23 and they're all lily white). But when I hear "dolls" now I think of only the Dollhouse, and I'm wondering just what "imprints" we're dealing with here. Which one of these girls is actually a savage killer? Or skilled in all positions of the kama sutra? Or a hostage negotiator? Or a genius computer programmer?


But more importantly, which of them will seem like a big "duh" for the cover treatment seven or eight years from now and which will be like a, "who...what now?". If you click on the Vanity Fair label below you can see past investigations of this Hollywood Issue's covergirls (and boys).

Abbie Cornish. Kristen Stewart. Carey Mulligan. Amanda Seyfried. Rebecca Hall. Mia Wasikowska. Emma Stone. Evan Rachel Wood. Anna Kendrick. Where will they be in 2020: The A-List? In the land of obscurity? headlining a TV series? at the Kodak Theater? Uninsurable has-been? Box Office Queen?

I know I ask too many questions but which doll do you want for your own? And which invisible doll (in this age range) are you angry you can't see on this magazine cover?

Where My Girls At?

A link roundup, actress style


The Classics
NY Times Douglas McGrath demands a special Oscar for Doris Day. Time to give her her due
Film Art "Tell, Don't Show" David Bordwell examines a great scene with Liv Ullmann and Bibi Andersson in Persona to illustrate the power of extended monologues
Gawker Susan Sarandon shtupping the ping pong kid?
The Independent Elizabeth Taylor's White Diamonds is still the top celebrity scent. Talk about staying power. La Liz has been raking in the dough from that single career move for almost 20 years now. How many diamonds has she bought with the haul?
I Need My Fix "Cher (!) Films Burlesque"... though be warned. 'Fix' gets the headline all fucked up and adds several letters inbetween "Ch" and "r"... confusing the true story here: CHER ! Making a movie again.
Style List Catherine Deneuve's 60's era magnificence is still inspiring fashionistas


The Now
contact music Toni Collette to be honored by Nicole Kidman at a special Aussie Expat event in LA on Golden Globe weekend
LA Times Julianne Moore, still hoping for Oscar nom #5, says you should never take employment for granted
Huffington Post I avoid the People's Choice Awards like the Bubonic plauge but Nicole Kidman looked so good. What ever possessed her to stay blonde for so long? So glad the red is hangin on
Pop Matters Big Love returns. It's Amanda Seyfried's last season. Sissy Spacek is guest starring

The Stage
London Travel Julie Andrews is doing a one-off show this summer
Theater Mania and Isabelle Huppert is doing Streetcar in Paris in the spring. I expect a full report from one of you French readers. Comprenez-vous?

Red Carpet: Underworked, Overworked, Erratically Co-Worked

Did you miss red carpet lineup? Too bad, it's back anyway! Here's a random sampling of celebrities who've been working the red this past week. As always, it's chosen based on who I wanna talk about.


I didn't used to think much of Eva Green, who was looking smashing in movie star red in London for the premiere of her new film Cracks, but two things changed my mind. First, her chemistry with Daniel Craig in Casino Royale and two, the shot of her flying through the air in The Golden Compass. I'm sad we'll never see more of witchy Serafina Pekkala. The further we get away from that movie the more I'm bummed that it didn't quite work. The book was so terrific but studios and filmmakers should never take on source material that's bolder than they are (this is one of the many reasons that Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy worked so spectacularly. He's huge like the material). It's do or die when you've got a classic book in your hands.

I know that Maggie Gyllenhaal is a mom now but it isn't enough to see paparazzi shots of her hanging out in the West Village. The silver screen needs her. Get back to work, lady! Ridley Scott (pictured attending his daughter's movie premiere) doesn't have Maggie's current problem. He's always working. The IMDB suggests that he has 23 projects brewing as either director, producer or both. I'd hate to be his personal assistant. I'm hoping that one of those 23 movies is as good as Blade Runner or Thelma or Louise but that's like asking for the moon so, let's try again... I'm hoping that one of these 23 projects is as good as Black Hawk Down. There! Much more likely.

Finally, I sandwiched Amanda Seyfried between two respected Oscar darlings (Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore) up top. That was partially because I want her career to turn out like theirs (she's so fine on Big Love) and partially because she's recently co-starred with both of them. But I'm beginning to wonder if Amanda needs a neckbrace especially engineered for young thespians. I should explain. As an actor Amanda is yanked from Meryl Streep (Mamma Mia) to Megan Fox (Jennifer's Body) to Julianne Moore (Chloe) to Channing Tatum (Dear John)??? Think of the acting whiplash.
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LFF: Women With Emotional Problems

Back to the LONDON FILM FESTIVAL with Dave, with an actressing overload today. Coming within the next few days, sanity pending, will be thoughts on Precious (yes, again), A Prophet and, finally, The White Ribbon.

A vague plot synopsis, like the one found in the film festival's literature, makes Chloe's icy erotica seem coyly alluring. A full plot synopsis might reveal the more tawdry aspects of the film, but what delight there is within Atom Egoyan's latest may well remain within the unfolding, so I'll keep as mum as I can manage. But something doesn't feel right from the start. You can film a cold place but it takes something more to make the film cold itself - and Chloe is too heavily photographed, too close to really appropriate that at all. There's no law that says a film set in Canadian winter has to send chills down the back of your spine, but what Chloe's atmosphere is instead is just a bit vulgar and melodramatic. Egoyan can wax for as long as he wants about how this is an adult, complex psychological drama about 'human interaction' and 'mature relationships', but the truth will out - it's an erotic thriller with remnants of French intrigue that can't help overloading on inexplicable obsessive madness, blowing all subtle humanity to the wind. Or out the window. C- [Taken from my extended thoughts, which you can read here.]

The crisply fascinating The Last Days of Emma Blank is a cool, drolly amusing critique of the assumptions of social classes, and an intriguingly played plot of family interactions. The titular madam is dying, so she says, and cruelly controls the servants - who, as we gradually discover, are in truth members of her family she's somehow convinced to perform servantile roles (one even acts like a dog, dry-humping and all). The main source of humour is never really knowing where you stand - there's something odd about a middle-aged man being called like a pet, but the script plays it's cards one at a time, each revelation or surprising turn changing perceptions. Shifts and nuances in the interpersonal relationships are craftily conveyed by the observational, connective camerawork, with helps partially disguise the stage origins of the film, and plays the same games with the characters as Emma tries to with her household. One particular plot element undoes the film a little in the end, but it remains a darkly comic little treat. B

London River is a quietly affecting drama bolstered by two strong lead performances - you might expect such from Brenda Blethyn, more restrained than usual, but the rakish, frail Sotigui Kouyaté delivers an equally affecting performance through the quiet. The pair are parents searching for their just-adult (21) children in the aftermath of the 7/7 bombings (Britain's first suicide bombers, back in 2005), but despite the appropriation of a keenly felt event it never lapses into histrionics. It's almost too low-key, really - the tense percussive score is used sparingly, and the heavy sound makes the location feel dull and realistic. But the characters make a fascinating pair - Blethyn's French-speaking, slightly xenophobic widow isn't always sympathetic, nor is the eerily calm Kouyaté, who hadn't seen his son since he was six years old. But these flaws make them feel more engaging, more involving, precisely because we can't get comfortably involved behind their plight. Instead our response to the characters shifts as much as their fears and predictions as regards their children do. It's a lonely, sparse drama, but winds a tangible emotional connection through its uncommon rhythms. B

TIFF Day One: Antichrist and Jennifer's Body

Lev Lewis reporting from the Toronto International Film Festival

My first day at the festival yielded two opposing ends of the horror spectrum. On one end: Antichrist, the latest piece of controversy from Danish provocateur Lars von Trier; on the other: Jennifer's Body, the horror-comedy written by Diablo Cody. It's not difficult to say which one I prefer although words such as "prefer" or "enjoy" are not words that one should ever use to describe Antichrist.

Antichrist is everything you have heard and then some. I came into my screening moderately prepared for what von Trier had in store for me. I'd seen his previous work, read numerous articles detailing the controversy surrounding the film, thought I knew what I was in for. But, without trying to sound hyperbolic, nothing can prepare you for this. Perhaps, there will be people out there who will find themselves unaffected by the film, but I simply cannot imagine who they would be. Antichrist is the most audacious, disturbing, gut-wrenching, terrifying film I have ever encountered. At this point I'm still having difficulty applying any sort of critical sensibility to a work this powerful. Honestly, I'm unsure if a film has ever affected me quite as much as von Triers' has. Three quarters through I was literally shaking.

Charlotte in Eden

I need a bit more than an evening's perspective to really dissect the film, but needless to say Lars von Trier, along with Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg (who give astonishing performances as the grieving couple) have created what will likely be one of the seminal works of our time.

Willem Dafoe watched the whole film with us and then did a Q&A. I wasn't quite sure what to expect from him, but he was extremely suave, intelligent and funny.

Megan and Amanda: They know what boys want. They know what boys like.

Jennifer's Body, Diablo Cody's second foray into film, yields dull results. It's difficult to say whether Jennifer's Body feels inferior to Juno* due to a less able director (Karyn Kusama in the place of Jason Reitman), a lesser cast, or whether it is simply due to a poor script on Cody's part. So while it is certainly true that director Kusama is a) unable to combine horror and comedy in any sort of resonant way, and b) build the mood or tension very much needed for horror, blame must also be attributed to Cody who insufficiently blends her already-dated, stylized pop-culture laden dialogue with 80's camp-horror. Sadly, this is the one distinguishing element of Jennifer's Body and the only aspect that separates it from every horror film of late. Like the rest, scares are derived from characters walking slowly through dark spaces until something jumps out, which is of course complimented by appallingly loud thumps on the soundtrack. As well, the numerous flashbacks, which always begin with the obligatory dissolve to white and the contrast pumped to the max, do little to set Jennifer's Body apart from its modern-day peers.

<-- Seyfried & Fox in blood red heels at the premiere.

The film's Midnight Madness premiere was packed and the audience was eating out of the hands of Cody, Kusama, Fox and even Seyfried. However I can't imagine many people getting worked up about Jennifer's Body outside of the late-night festival atmosphere. Or perhaps I'm giving moviegoers too much credit. It is also possible that people will devour the audience-baiting of Jennifer's Body. For instance, at one point Amanda Seyfried, from out of nowhere and with no motivation, sucker-kicks a nurse who has done nothing to warrant such violence. The nurse flies through the air (accompanied by mind-numbing sound editing) and falls bloody and battered into an array of tables. This lurid act of violence received huge rounds of applause from an apparently blood-thirsty audience. Grade: D+

More fun than the film itself were the proceedings. The whole cast and crew were in attendance and up on the stage were: Karyn Kusama, Megan Fox, Johnny Simmons, Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody, Diablo Cody and Jason Reitman. The rowdy crowd was quite thrilled at the appearance of Fox, and asked numerous questions about the kiss between her and Seyfried. However, Diablo Cody stole the show announcing that her greatest contribution to cinema has been the words "Stick it in".

*Not that I am, by any means, Juno's biggest fan.

related posts: "Places Willem Dafoe's Ass Has Been" / Jennifer's Body trailer

Red Carpet: Amanda's Tip Money, Jennifer's Baby Food

A random sampling of actresses (and actor) that were out and about this week, as is our habit since this isn't a celebrity fashion blog but we do like to stargaze. From left to right: Mélanie Laurent, Amanda Seyfried, Christoph Waltz, Renée Zellweger, Miss Piggy and Jennifer Aniston

photos reworked from Zimbio & Just Jared

Why do you suppose Amanda Seyfried has cash out?

I'm pretending that she's going to tip Mélanie and Christoph for their fine work in Inglourious Basterds. I certainly want to. I'm shoving $20s down their pants if I get the chance. The photo of Seyfried was actually snapped on the set of her new movie with Gael García Bernal (Letters to Juliet) so maybe she's saving the tip money... she must have seen Bad Education.

photo src

Meanwhile, Zeéeeee is waving to Mélanie but the French girl isn't waving back. I don't have a story beat in mind for that one but I think that's generally a smart move, pretending you didn't notice her. That said, I'm really bad at ignoring her, aren't I? For example, every one in the world skipped Miss Potter and I still tortured myself with it. New in Town sits on my DVD shelf even now (no, I did not purchase it) and how long will it be until I succumb? It's a sickness.

In other news, did you hear that Marc Jacobs furnished Miss Piggy with a new look? I love it. Miss Piggy is a national treasure and she's been out of the limelight for too long. I'd much rather hear about her cross-species love life than Jennifer Aniston's predictable romantic woes.

And speaking of...

Have you seen the trailer for Love Happens in which Jen breathes new life into dimpled, cleft widower Aaron Eckhart? They're both likeable performers but that movie looks like total baby food. It's simply flavored utterly predictable mush. The trailer is Hollywood making choo-choo noises, hoping you'll open wide for a spoon feeding.