Super Mario Beats It: The Lessons of NYCC 2010

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JA from MNPP here. New York's Comic Con went down this previous weekend in the massive Javits Center here on the island of Manhattan, and if you were there amongst the stacks of dusty Fantastic Four comics and shiny samurai sword replicas and Jason Voorhees masks you might've seen me wandering around in a glassy-eyed stupor. Every Comic Con I've been to breeds the same overstimulated dullness - within a couple of hours my pupils dilate and seeing things like a ten-foot tall Orc tickling Wonder Woman just starts to seem normal. This happens every day! Still, a couple of things stood out this year and I shall now document them.

10 Random Things I Learned at NYCC This Year

01 Girls really like the Silk Spectre costume - Or maybe it's that they know the boys like seeing them in the Silk Spectre costume - either way, I saw about twenty different ladies wearing the slutty bumblebee ensemble from Zach Snyder's adaptation of Alan Moore's seminal comic book. The film hadn't come out yet when the last Comic Con happened here in NYC - in 2009 NYCC happened in February, while they moved it into October for 2010 (a permanent move), and Watchmen came out in March 0f 2009 - so I don't remember seeing the costume last year, but it was literally - literally! - everywhere you turned this time around. Does this make Malin "Baby Girl" Akerman a geek icon?

02 Danny McBride's a trooper - The panel for David Gordon Green's Your Highness was at the geek-freaking hour of 10:30am on Saturday. Keep in mind you've got at least an hour's wait to even get into the building at that hour, plus with the commute there... needless to say it took me some effort to drag my bum there, but I did. Then I heard through the press-vine that McBride & Co. had been partying hard until the wee hours of morning before the panel and I felt a little less super for my own efforts, since I'd been in bed by 11:30. James Franco seemed dazed, but Danny McBride was firing on all cylinders. Funny man.

And the footage they showed from the film, while definitely geared to the Comic Con audience - Natalie Portman's thong! Puppets smoking from a bong! (hey that rhymes) - was every ounce the bizarre mish-mash I could've hoped the film would be. It looks terrific. I don't entirely understand David Gordon Green's directing career, but it's been a pleasure watching it play out so far.

03 Geeks will stand in a very long line to watch a commercial - This is nothing new to Cons, I've seen it at every one I've gone to, but it always baffles me. The fine folks behind the upcoming release of the Alien Anthology, as they call it, had a booth where they'd close you up in a sleeping pod and right up in your face was a TV screen and it'd show a bunch of clips from the four Alien movies with some sound effects echoing in your ears. The end. And yet the line never stretched less than fifty people long! I suppose the T-shirt they gave you that cleverly stated "Want A Hug?" had something to do with it, but still. (I totally did it anyway, and I cherish my T-shirt.)

04 The family that geeks together, is adorable together - I wish my parents had dressed me up like a Jedi or Baby Yoda and taken me to these sorts of things. So I could immediately fall asleep. Damn you, parents!

05 In The Thing, There Be Tentacles - While I'm still unsure about a prequel to John Carpenter's brilliant 1982 film, itself a remake, the trailer for Matthijs van Heijningen Jr's film - which has made its way online in an exceptionally shaky, hand-held version - had a couple of quick glances of their take on the plant-animal alien monster things and they did excite this nerd's senses. Although only glimpsed, they look right, which in this era of lousy CG was a concern. Now let's just hope they can nail the right paranoiac tone needed too.

06 Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer are pros at this - I can only imagine how many of these events these ladies have entertained at this point, but the dynamic Battlestar Galactica duo had the audience eating out of their palms. They have a terrific rapport - they are apparently great friends in real life - and joked that they're waiting for the reboot of Cagney & Lacey to come along to showcase it. I would watch that.


07 But Michelle Forbes is scary - I don't care that she told us she's nothing like Admiral Cain in Battlestar of the maenad MaryAnn on True Blood or [insert the name of every character she's ever played] and that she's really a hippie-type in real life - there's a reason she's successful for playing harsh ladies, and she made me nervous. I had to keep checking to make sure everybody's eyes weren't going all black, because with all due respect the audience at a Battlestar Galactica panel at Comic Con is not the audience I want to be having an orgy with.

08 M Night Shyamalan, amiable dude - I defended M Night for a very long time, well past when most people had bailed ship - I liked The Village, and I liked parts of Lady in the Water - but the one-two punch of that book about him and The Happening (shudder) kind of killed any arguments I could make anymore. So I only sat through half of his panel by happenstance, in order to get a good seat for the panel following him (on AMC's The Walking Dead, which looks epic by the way). But he came off really well! It was for the 10th Anniversary of Unbreakable, a terribly underrated film, and you could tell he really loves the film and that its negative reception put him into a bit of a tailspin. He came alive showcasing the storyboards for the train scene at the start of the film - you can say a lot of things about him, but I don't think you can argue about the meticulous craft on display. And he was fascinating to watch in discussion of that.

09 According to Frank Darabont, Zombies are the new Vampires - Which seems like an odd argument to make, right? The last decade has seen every iteration of zombies you could ever imagine - it's not like they need to make a comeback to be the hip thing. I get that he was selling his Zombie TV Show, and it does look terrific. But isn't it really Frankenstein Monster's time to shine again? I want sexy Frankenstein, dang it. (Yes, SNL got there already.)

10 You haven't lived until you've seen Super Mario dancing to Michael Jackson's "Beat It" - This one is self-explanatory, and true. You might not know it's true. But then you see it happen, and you understand its truth. The fundamental sort.

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The Freshlink 15

<--- USA Today Zoinks. It's the first official pics of Natalie Portman in Darren Aronofsky's Black Swan. ♥
Journalistic Skepticism Luke reviews the entire 1990s in Best Actress. I'd do this myself if I didn't have 141 other ongoing movie projects to worry about. I'm overscheduled, I am. [Sigh]
The Big Picture M. Night Shyamalan thinks that the cynical view of his career (that his movies are getting worse and worse) will be "eradicated" by history. Even more alarming: he says he would kill himself if he thought his movies were getting worse. Oh M. Night. Self awareness and self critique is necessary to growth as an artist. If you think you're incapable of bad work, you're bound to do bad work.
Some Came Running Ellen Page is an early riser.
Towleroad I'm incredibly disappointed in writer/director Don Roos (The Opposite of Sex, Happy Endings) and his comments on gay actors playing straight "distracting." He wins some points by using straights playing gays as his prime examples of this off-sexuality distraction (I mean, if you're going to be stupid about what acting is, be stupid in both directions! Thanks) but his own words are so hypocritical since he always has gay characters in his movies and always hires straight actors to play them. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies and the gay community is certainly proof of that in the movie business.
Lazy Circle on The Atlantic's piece on celebrity scandal, tougher on women (like Lindsay Lohan) than men (Mel Gibson). I can't get behind any piece (The Atlantic's) that calls Elizabeth Taylor a joke, though. La Liz is legendary. Those who laugh at her have very little understanding of her epic wing in Hollywood's mansion.
I Need My Fix shares a Goop item, a heartfelt piece from Bryce Dallas Howard on post-partum depression
Serious Film Come back Charlie Kauffman


off cinema
I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing on event television and a real life event. A must read.
Playbill Barack Obama's tribute to Broadway. Love the Mel Brooks quote that musicals "blow the dust off your soul."
Backstage|Blogstage Maybe the all things Mad Men fever has finally jumped the shark... or at least driven over someone's foot with a lawnmower. Of of my favorite recurring bit players has posed for Playboy recreating old 60s pinups.
Movie|Line Have you been reading the Emmy Spotlight here? It's fun. I had totally forgotten about that Gossip Girl themed 30 Rock episode. When I die I want to leave something in my will for Jane Krakowski because she's given me so much raucous laughter in my life.

daily Inception freakout
EW's Owen Gleiberman says he doesn't "get" Inception. And then proceeds to describe it in thorough detail indicating that he totally got it but just didn't like it very much. Yet his constant "I didn't get it" apologetic refrains invite everyone -- sometimes literally -- to disregard his points. Who does Owen Gleiberman think he is? A Democratic politician. Find your backbone!
FourFour Rich (who hated the movie) has a conversation with a friend (who loved it). It's all very interesting but even Rich, who is totz brilliant, falls for the "didn't get it" hedging, before saying lots of smart things indicating that he got it.


I still sorta like the movie (I initially gave it a B and this intermittently glowing review) but the things I did dislike about it such as the entire character of Ariadne (Ellen Page), the literal mindedness of a dream movie, and the direction/editing of some of the action sequences keep bothering me and the things I liked about it (the 'man as builder' vertical aesthetic, the team dynamic, the zero gravity bits, the f/x, the Tom Hardy) aren't totally compensating.

My point is this: I'm glad that someone made a movie that is inspiring this much discussion but I will yet be driven mad by the dynamic of weird hyperbole vs. embarassed apologies embedded in seemingly all Inception conversations. I am sending Nolan my next therapy bill.

Finally
Have you tried this "35 Movies in 2 Minutes" short? It's whimsic-hypnotic but I have to admit I didn't even get half of them on the first run through. Try it.

35mm from Pascal Monaco on Vimeo.

Before Link Falls

I have failed to mention that Penélope Cruz and Javier Bardem are now married. You've probably heard this by now. But since the Film Experience loves both of them muchly, and has since 2006 and 2000 respectively, we throw virtual rice in their general direction (Spain is east, right?). To make things even more special we like to remember that Cruz made her first movie (Jamon Jamon) with Javier Bardem way back in 1992. They've known each other forever. They also both have acting Oscars which is quite rare in movie couples. Newman and Woodward did it but Newman has left this mortal coil. Even the Bening-Beattys won't be able to say they do when Annette wins since Beatty won his for directing.

Cory's Curiosities "magical pic of the day" awwww, Kermit.

Movie|Line I knew Pixar would eventually have to come down to earth. Seems they're joining the franchise and Direct to DVD markets with abandon. Sigh. The only studio that still prized total originality is giving up. I knew that Cars would be the chink in their armor. Ugh, that movie. It torments me still.
Oscar Tracker Machine Gun Preacher pairs Gerard Butler with Marc Forster for a crazily eventful sounding biopic. Oscarable?
I Need My Fix has photos from the set.
The Big Picture more on the David O' Russell saga involving the unreleased Jake Gyllenhaal/Jessica Biel picture Nailed. Killer last line in this article.
The Exploding Kinetoscope I marvel at this review of The Last Airbender. I love.


Movie|Line so we're talking about a Janis Joplin biopic again? That happens once every three years or so. This time it's Amy Adams but Movie|Line looks at the long history of casting rumors. P.S. If Amy Adams plays this won't she win the Oscar in a slam dunk (against type, singing, biopic, mimicry, deglam, addictions. It's got EVERYTHING)
A Socialite's Life I kind of love that I can never keep track of Jude Law & Sienna Miller's love life. They're together again? I've lost track of this roughly 62 times in my lifetime. I want a bunch of filmmakers to get together and make an omnibus film about this relationship. An experimental biopic with Jude & Sienna playing themselves.
Movie Marketing Madness on the challenges of marketing Inception.
/Film to play a live action Tink. Disney is marketing the hell out of this character which makes me sad because each time they use her, I love her less. Hopefully Elizabeth Banks can rescue this.
MNPP obsesses over Thomas Kretschmann again. We understand. Where's he been hiding?
Hollyscoop Lindsay Lohan back to rehab. Reading the quotes on this makes me ever more worried for her. Not only does she need to get rid of these people from her life, she needs to get rid of the other people who think she needs to get rid of those people. Complicated! Clean house, including your mooch parents! P.S. I realize this is mere conjecture and we can't know what the Lohan family is really like but methinks Lindsay herself would be better off starting fresh, period. She's the one with the talent after all. If she finds sobriety, she'll find everything else she needs (including the lost talent) afterwards.

Finally...

Reuters is reporting a huge box office weekend for Inception (my review). I swear to god box office reports are getting earlier and earlier. The movie doesn't even open till midnight tonight! Soon they will just have box office reports beamed directly from psychic hotlines.

The Last Linkbender

Angry Asian Man has been covering the racist casting of and boycotts of The Last Airbender movie and rounding up links. I think this one from Racalicious about "race bending" is a good overview of the controversy though I have two nitpicky responses that have nothing to do with race.

1. It's not accurate to claim that Hollywood clings to a "mindset from the 30s" when it comes to pleasing the male demographic. Hollywood was just as interested in women in the 30s. The 'please the boys at all costs / ignore everyone else' mandate isn't really unmistakable in cinema until the modern blockbuster era.
   
2. Though it's true that race is a trickier subject than gender, the statement that it's "easy" to combat media driven gender stereotypes is not accurate at all. Those media messages are still pervasive and confusing in 2010 and still shape people's ideas about what's of value (men and their p.o.v.) and what's not (women and anything deemed "feminine"). American culture is still f***ed up about gender and Hollywood reflects that back to us and reinforces it all the time.

I guess anyone protesting this movie has to be happy that the reviews have been so very terrible. Too bad about the box office, though. M Night Shyamalan isn't exactly respected these days but his movies still open well. To make matters more complicated, M Night who is of Asian descent himself claims that the casting decisions were entirely his. I'm not sure I'd want to claim credit for that myself if I were him but he's not exactly known for having perspective about his own projects... or for not taking credit for everything.

Dev Patel, the only non-Caucasian of the four lead roles.
Naturally, he's the antagonist. Business as usual for Hollywood.

Andrew Wheeler has a good piece on the controversy, too, at his dependably interesting blog
The Post-Game Show. I love this bit on M. Night Shyamalan's 'I'm Asian so it can't be racist' style defense.

This is the minority author as the sole arbiter of minority identity. Last time we heard that response, it was from Torchwood writer Russell T Davies on the subject of Ianto’s death on that show, and that time it was even less elegantly expressed; “We’re talking about issues in my entire life here, not just one small television program. … [Critics] should simply grow up, do some research, and stop riding on a bandwagon that they actually don’t know anything about.”

Never mind that critics of Davies were often gay, and critics of Shyamalan have often been Asian; because Davies is gay and Shyamalan is of Asian-American, it is the audience’s ‘misunderstanding’ that’s to blame, and no reflection on the author or director’s insensitivity.

The whole piece is a really good overview of the problem and the massive gaps in the logic that attempts to justify the preproduction casting decisions.

I was actually interesting in seeing this movie. I have a largely undiscussed weakness for sci-fi/fantasy (and four elements stuff) and I find Shyamalan fascinating in a dichotomous talented/idiotic kind of way. But the reviews suggest there isn't much of worth in the film. Did any of you see it over the weekend? If so, do you agree with the excoriation it received?

Ten Years Ago Today...We First Saw Dead People

Hello, all. Kieran here (aka the Know nothing Know it All). Ten years ago today, M. Night Shyamalan's The Sixth Sense hit multiplexes to massive audience and critical acclaim. Massive (it bears repeating). Shyamalan was essentially unknown, as was little Haley Joel Osment (the film's star, even though he landed a supporting actor Oscar nod). Still, the film spent five weeks at number one spot at the box office—no small feat these days for films not about Batman. 2009 is more than half over, and only two films have managed to remain number one for two or more consecutive weeks—Paul Blart and Transformers (yikes). The Sixth Sense achieved a lot of cultural capital.

Revisit it. It's still utterly watchable, not for the moments where it genuinely scares you (of which, there are plenty) but for its moments of true human drama. Plus, I love a film that's both a zeitgeist hit and a showcase for its actors. The scene where Osment talks to Toni Collette about her dead mother still brings tears to my eyes a decade later (and probably brought Collette her Oscar nod). Alas, Shyamalan has been struggling to find the magic again. He has yet to match its success, both critically and financially. Will he find it again? His next effort, The Last Airbender, due out sometime in July 2010 doesn't look promising. But who knows? The Sixth Sense showcased Shyamalan as a gifted storyteller, and though he may continue to disappoint, I'm thankful for an industry that allows him to try, rather than turning him into Michael Cimino.

Another 1999 horror offering, The Blair Witch Project, which had its ten year anniversary sometime last week, may not have aged as well, but they both remain clear cultural markers for the movie industry, n'est pas? Blair Witch is credited as the first film to utilize Internet marketing on a grand scale, and there was even talk of how said technology would reinvent the film industry (yawn). It definitely helps to spread the word about smaller films that might have been a just-miss otherwise, but viral marketing is now so commonplace that (like all marketing) it mostly helps those with a lot of money make...more money. Where were you in 1999 when you first saw The Sixth Sense and The Blair Witch Project?

P.S. Can anyone think of a year in recent memory besides 1999 that was a bigger year for event moviemaking? 1999 brought us the two aforementioned hits, plus (deep breath now) Fight Club, The Matrix, American Beauty, Being John Malkovich, Magnolia and the beginning of the new Star Wars trilogy, each cinematic events in their own right. Kind of makes you wonder how The Cider House Rules and The Green Mile managed to worm their way onto the best picture shortlist that year...

Max & Haley

Today marks the 80th birthday (80th!) of cinema legend Max von Sydow. This year, a fan site points out, retrospective celebrations of his work seem highly probable. I bring this birthday up because my interview with him a year and half ago is still one of my favorite events from my Film Experience journey. He was so interesting to talk to. Consider the diversity of his resume: The Exorcist, The Seventh Seal, Awakenings, The Virgin Spring, Flash Gordon, Three Days of the Condor, Judge Dredd, Hannah and Her Sisters. He's worked with everyone from Ingmar Bergman to Steven Spielberg. If I could have tied him up for hours with more questions, I would have, believe me. His next film is Martin Scorsese's Shutter Island (previously discussed) and then we might see him in the WW II resistance fighter drama, Truth & Treason. He's not in the trailer so we assume he plays one of the characters as an older man in an epilogue.

On the other end of the age spectrum is von Sydow's upcoming co-star in that picture, Haley Joel Osment. He turns 21 today. He was once everyone's favorite tiny medium (The Sixth Sense) and little android (A.I. Artificial Intelligence) but we haven't seen him for years. Growing up is always difficult for child stars. Their faces change or don't change enough. There's that brief awkward phase or whole long stretches of it. We haven't seen Osment much recently but he does have two films in the works, the aforementioned Truth & Treason and an indie comedy called Montana Amazon in which he co-stars with Olympia Dukakis.

Maybe he isn't ambitious about having a big film career as an adult but if he is I figure both M. Night Shyamalan and Steven Spielberg ought to offer him something good to help him with the transitioning. They way I see it they both owe him --think of how much weaker both of those films immediately become with anything less than a preternaturally gifted child actor in their demanding roles.
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Brother, Can You Spare Some Eggs?

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JA from MNPP here, gently tapping on the screen door to Film Experience headquarters, politely requesting some eggs for your neighbors. Nevermind the white gloves, can I just have the eggs? Please? Thank you. Oh your cat jumped up on me, Nat, and I dropped the eggs. Can I have the other ones? I see them right there. You can go to the store tomorrow. No I am not being rude. No, I will not leave without the eggs.

Hey everybody, sorry about that, but... Nat's not gonna be here today! He's... preoccupied. Much like Susanne Lothar (sidenote: who else adores Susanne Lothar?) and Naomi Watts before him, he's... preoccupied.


But I'm here! Ready, willing, full-bodied, able, to guide you through your Wednesday. And it's funny that I brought up Michael Haneke's dueling Funny Games pictures here because I actually mean to speak a bit about the "Home Invasion" movie genre here for a moment. (Funny how that I works! I brought it up, and I want to talk about it! Funny!)

Although it's a genre near and dear to my heart, I've been thinking about the genre this past week or so more than often than usual. I just finished the chapter in David Hughes' book The Greatest Sci-Fi Movies Never Made on Steven Spielberg's never-happened Close Encounters sort-of sequel, to be called Night Skies. Night Skies was going to tell the story of a family on a farm who come to be terrorized by a group of outer-space aliens who trap them inside their farmhouse and kill their cattle and are generally bad guys (and yes, if that immediately made you think of M. Night's Signs, you are not alone.) Anyway, the story goes, Spielberg wasn't liking where the story was heading, but did like the side-story in the script of the farm-family's son who befriended the only nice alien out in the group, which turned into you guessed it again E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial. And then Spielberg got his home invasion ya-ya's out by "producing" "Tobe Hooper's" Poltergeist the same year (switch out the aliens for ghosties, and wha-la).

And besides that sordid tale, I also saw the remake of The Last House on the Left last week, which, befitting the current "Home Invasion" film renaissance - Ils (Them), The Strangers, and Funny Games being recent torch-bearers - feels more like your standard Home Invasion film than it's previous Bergman/Craven incarnations. The bad guys are still invited into the home like they've been since The Virgin Spring, but due to alterations in certain outcomes (trying to stay spoiler-free here), it becomes more about maintaining the safety of the home space than just straightforward vengeance. (as an aside, if you can handle the brutality of what Last House has to offer, I'd say that Dennis Iliadis' film is a mostly artful contemplation on The Horrors Men Can Do... at least until that slightly silly denouement).


I'd be remiss, in discussing Home Invasion movies, without giving a shout-out to three of the genre's most important figureheads, so here they be:

(Sam Pekinpah's still controversial Straw Dogs,
Jodie "Mother Hen In A Confined Space" Foster,
and Attempted-Child-Brutality-Has-Never-Been-So-Funny
superstar Macauley Culkin)

Alright, so now that I've lured y'all in here and quietly clicked the lock into place, behind you, you ain't going nowhere without telling me your favorite Home Invasion movie. And why do you think these movies have been so popular specifically the past couple of years? What I'm getting at is, do you think the genre will subside a bit now that we don't feel locked in this country with a madman who seemed to have swallowed the keys to the Oval Office anymore?
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What I Learned On My Summer Vacation - JA

Hi, everybody! JA from MNPP here, sharing what the Summer of 2008 brought me.

Even though I could write up a thousand word essay on how Robert Downey Jr. is only bearable while wholly unrecognizable -seriously, y'all - I'll stick to what I (pretend to) know best: The things that go bump in the night. In this case, the hot, sticky Summer night. The horror shows of the Summer of '08, that is. I had to expand the definition of "horror" here and there since proper fright flicks were semi-scarce over these heated months. But scares can come from anywhere, so here's a random assortment of all the things that scared me this Summer.

Let's just get the obvious outta the way: Heath Ledger's Joker. The be-all-end-all for scares probably all year. I've been working on perfecting his magic trick myself at home, but I've already run through an entire box of #2's and I keep missing. Any advice? TIA!


Those jellylike fur-matted things that were extending outward below Tom Cruise's eyeballs in Tropic Thunder. I think... I think they were supposed to be... his limbs? Shudder.

That someone would make a cartoon involving maggots but not make absolutely sure the maggots in question were actually cute, and not creepy dead-eyed flesh-tinted monsters with teeth and tongues. Pixar it ain't.

That those girls are still sharing that pair of pants. That just never seemed very sanitary to me. I mean, I've seen what my friends do in their pants, and... I don't want any of that on me. But then, maybe I just have filthy friends. Hmm.

The way that Lionsgate screwed over Clive Barker's Midnight Meat Train. Boycott!

That Chris Carter could take six years to come up with a new X-Files story and the best he could give us was Gay Frankenstein and his two-headed dog.

The Strangers was pretty decent, but they really ruined themselves with that phenomenal trailer that gave away the best scare.

The Teeth Fairies in Hellboy 2. Or that Elemental thing. Or the Angel of Death. Really, where ever Guillermo Del Toro let his freak flag fly with regards to creature design.

That is wasn't a bad dream, but it was actually The Happening.

Break-up via text message. Way harsh. See also: "You're not special."

Like a cockroach always scattering out the light, so went my relationship with Baghead. Every time I saw the trailer I told myself I wanted to see it. And then I forgot. And then I remembered. And then I forgot. But the trailer was one of the legitimately scary things of the Summer. Anyone actually catch the movie?

But the thing that scared me the greatest this Summer, so badly that I refuse to A) post a picture from it here, lest I google it and an image of this horror should appear, and B) even think about seeing the film in which it is contained (and I've sat through some effed up stuff)? Ben Kingsley and Whichever Olsen kissing in The Wackness. The very thought of it makes me question all that is good in the world. That, my friends, is horror.
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Now Playing: Hulk Smash Puny Wahlberg!

That's gonna hurt! You really should watch your surroundings
if you choose to walk around half-naked in your downtown area.

I couldn't resist. Not to rub salt in the upcoming The Happening wounds. That wouldn't be nice. But misery loves company and I woke up totally sick today. Sore throat -- i can't even swallow -- probably from being outside for too many Shakespearean soliloquies. Sadly, I'm in no shape to hit the movie theaters even though, after that week in Florida, I'm desperate to see some movies. Argh!

W I D E
The Happening ~In which Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel experience mass suicides and strange, well, happenings. From M Night Shyamalan, he of the smart personal branding, strong eye, and terrible ear.
The Incredible Hulk ~In which Marvel Studios pretends that Ang Lee isn't one of the best filmmakers in the world by pretending that his movie didn't really count. Expect lots of smashing... and probably smashing box-office too, given the Iron Man lead-in to Marvel mania.

L I M I T E D
Baghead ~I haven't watched this trailer because the poster terrifies me. If it's a horror movie I don't want to see it. I can't imagine that anyone would make a satire of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice at this point in time but that's my second thought (post-horror) when I glance at the poster.
My Winnipeg ~ I always want to love Guy Maddin's movies. His visuals are fun, personal and above all drunk on silent film, so I feel a kinship. And yet... I don't love his movies. Unless they're very short like The Heart of the World or Sissy Boy Slap Party in which case I am so there.
Encounters at the End of the World ~Werner Herzog is the man. I shall wear my Herzog t-shirt today in honor of this movie which I shan't see on account of staying in bed.

God bless laptops!
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txt message. 4realz

Received today @ 12:51 PM from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous

The Happening is, without a doubt, the worst movie M. Night Shyamalan has made so far.

What's most frightening about this message is that this friend has seen Lady in the Water. Uh-oh.
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These Films Are Not Yet Reviewed (Pt 1)

Time for some Spring er...End of Summer OK OK Early Fall Cleaning. Geez, this year is zooming by. Time to address the movies I never wrote about whilst the guilt is (productively?) consuming me. Herewith notes on films I haven't been talking about. [Shortbus, Little Children and The Black Dahlia get their own posts soon.]

Let’s just do these in alpha order.

Idlewild. There’s a couple of highly choreographed musical numbers that are good fun but everything surrounding them is dead weight. No matter how tricked up the film is with idiosyncratic visual flourishes like moving freeze frames and talking alcohol flasks, this movie just can’t stay energized. The story is dull. The acting is bland. D+

Lady in the Water. Remember when it became clear that Michael Jackson had completely bought into his own myth: the statues of himself on album covers, the royal moniker, the ‘leave me alone but worship me’ persona. M Night Shyamalan might as well be moonwalking or wearing one sparkly glove. He’s locked himself into his own Neverland. Instead of a castle, it’s a movie. Though I hesitate to even call Lady in the Water a movie. It’s more like a radio show in that the camera is, for the first time in a Shyamalan movie, almost beside the point. This movie is basically a string of scenes of various characters telling you the story or, rather, pieces of the story. The story seems to be made up on the spot thereby escaping those pesky screenwriting demands of interior logic, structure, and audience accessibility (which you’d think would be sacred for a filmmaker that fancies himself a populist). Unlike Shyamalan’s other films which invite you to play along to some degree this one keeps you forever in the dark. You can’t ever join in because there’s so much withholding and backtracking and sudden “oh, by the way, we forgot to tell you this part” cheap evasions.

Lady in the Water is like a drowning victim that thinks itself a lifeguard. The water is all of the M Night’s worst instincts. The only thing that’s not incomprehensible, maddening, and immature about this film is that it does have a bit of a sense of humor. Thanks for small favors. D (when I’m in a good mood) F (when I’m not)

The Last King of Scotland . While most of the acclaim surrounding this film attachs itself barnacle like to Forest Whitaker’s massive frame, there’s more going on within that a baity biopic portrait. Everything you’ve heard about Whitaker is true: he’s frightening, funny, and practically possessed by the spirit of Idi Amin. But the rest of this film is good, too. At first it appears to be just your typical liberal white guilt epic (wherein you see the plight of minorities through the eyes of a white do-gooder) but what’s shifty and superb about The Last King is the way it doesn’t even pretend heroism in its protagonist, Amins personal physician (a sly and nimble James McAvoy) but rather gives him to you warts and all. Some people read the film as a racist tract about a scary black man but its flexible enough as a movie to offer other ways of looking at it. I saw it more as an indictment of ignorant and clumsy Western intrusiveness. Doesn’t the doctor in fact make the situation worse as the film progresses? I’m not sure that The Last King of Scotland knows how to connect all of its strong pieces into one devastating whole, but even when it oversells its own merits (take the sound editing for example: lots of loud whispering to denote paranoia –uh huh, got it.) it’s impressively scrappy and forceful. B

Miami Vice. Michael Mann’s adaptation of his own hit television series is too ambitious and plotty for its own good but however lacking it is in the storytelling department, it’s got some good setpieces, inspired tech touches, and atmosphere to spare. Plus, there's a restrained and effective performance from Colin Farrell and a lived-in "team" feeling from the ensemble cops that is sadly lacking from most action films. Worth a rental. B

These Films Are Not Yet Reviewed (Pt 1)

Time for some Spring er...End of Summer OK OK Early Fall Cleaning. Geez, this year is zooming by. Time to address the movies I never wrote about whilst the guilt is (productively?) consuming me. Herewith notes on films I haven't been talking about. [Shortbus, Little Children and The Black Dahlia get their own posts soon.]

Let’s just do these in alpha order.

Idlewild. There’s a couple of highly choreographed musical numbers that are good fun but everything surrounding them is dead weight. No matter how tricked up the film is with idiosyncratic visual flourishes like moving freeze frames and talking alcohol flasks, this movie just can’t stay energized. The story is dull. The acting is bland. D+

Lady in the Water. Remember when it became clear that Michael Jackson had completely bought into his own myth: the statues of himself on album covers, the royal moniker, the ‘leave me alone but worship me’ persona. M Night Shyamalan might as well be moonwalking or wearing one sparkly glove. He’s locked himself into his own Neverland. Instead of a castle, it’s a movie. Though I hesitate to even call Lady in the Water a movie. It’s more like a radio show in that the camera is, for the first time in a Shyamalan movie, almost beside the point. This movie is basically a string of scenes of various characters telling you the story or, rather, pieces of the story. The story seems to be made up on the spot thereby escaping those pesky screenwriting demands of interior logic, structure, and audience accessibility (which you’d think would be sacred for a filmmaker that fancies himself a populist). Unlike Shyamalan’s other films which invite you to play along to some degree this one keeps you forever in the dark. You can’t ever join in because there’s so much withholding and backtracking and sudden “oh, by the way, we forgot to tell you this part” cheap evasions.

Lady in the Water is like a drowning victim that thinks itself a lifeguard. The water is all of the M Night’s worst instincts. The only thing that’s not incomprehensible, maddening, and immature about this film is that it does have a bit of a sense of humor. Thanks for small favors. D (when I’m in a good mood) F (when I’m not)

The Last King of Scotland . While most of the acclaim surrounding this film attachs itself barnacle like to Forest Whitaker’s massive frame, there’s more going on within that a baity biopic portrait. Everything you’ve heard about Whitaker is true: he’s frightening, funny, and practically possessed by the spirit of Idi Amin. But the rest of this film is good, too. At first it appears to be just your typical liberal white guilt epic (wherein you see the plight of minorities through the eyes of a white do-gooder) but what’s shifty and superb about The Last King is the way it doesn’t even pretend heroism in its protagonist, Amins personal physician (a sly and nimble James McAvoy) but rather gives him to you warts and all. Some people read the film as a racist tract about a scary black man but its flexible enough as a movie to offer other ways of looking at it. I saw it more as an indictment of ignorant and clumsy Western intrusiveness. Doesn’t the doctor in fact make the situation worse as the film progresses? I’m not sure that The Last King of Scotland knows how to connect all of its strong pieces into one devastating whole, but even when it oversells its own merits (take the sound editing for example: lots of loud whispering to denote paranoia –uh huh, got it.) it’s impressively scrappy and forceful. B

Miami Vice. Michael Mann’s adaptation of his own hit television series is too ambitious and plotty for its own good but however lacking it is in the storytelling department, it’s got some good setpieces, inspired tech touches, and atmosphere to spare. Plus, there's a restrained and effective performance from Colin Farrell and a lived-in "team" feeling from the ensemble cops that is sadly lacking from most action films. Worth a rental. B

I'll Link To That

Slant’s Ed Gonzalez on the M Night Shyamalan screenwriting grab bag. I love this. I’d like to see some for other directors. Speaking of M Night… WOW Report let’s you know what Haley Joel Osment has been up to…a car crash apparently. Weird to see him all grown up in the photo.

popbytes on superhero stamps. I’ve never understood stamp collecting but I do admit that I enjoy seeing what gets put on stamps and what doesn’t. But to have 10 superheroes only and Plastic Man and Hawk Man get stamps? I call foul. Speaking of superheroes… My New Plaid Pants on the new casting rumor for Batman Begins 2 (er…Batman Continues?). Heath Ledger!

Cinematical covers the MPAA’s anger over IFC’s MPAA-questioning documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated . It will --appropriately for its title I may add—never, in fact, be rated. They’re releasing it without one.

And finally… I’m spending every Wednesday night gleefully watching Project Runway and now a few days later I can gleefully read Four Four’s recaps. Life is good.

I'll Link To That

Slant’s Ed Gonzalez on the M Night Shyamalan screenwriting grab bag. I love this. I’d like to see some for other directors. Speaking of M Night… WOW Report let’s you know what Haley Joel Osment has been up to…a car crash apparently. Weird to see him all grown up in the photo.

popbytes on superhero stamps. I’ve never understood stamp collecting but I do admit that I enjoy seeing what gets put on stamps and what doesn’t. But to have 10 superheroes only and Plastic Man and Hawk Man get stamps? I call foul. Speaking of superheroes… My New Plaid Pants on the new casting rumor for Batman Begins 2 (er…Batman Continues?). Heath Ledger!

Cinematical covers the MPAA’s anger over IFC’s MPAA-questioning documentary This Film Is Not Yet Rated . It will --appropriately for its title I may add—never, in fact, be rated. They’re releasing it without one.

And finally… I’m spending every Wednesday night gleefully watching Project Runway and now a few days later I can gleefully read Four Four’s recaps. Life is good.

Director in the Water

The return of self-aggrandazing auteur M Night Shyamalan is nigh upon us. His fairy tale Lady in the Water with Gwen Stacey Bryce Dallas Howard as a mer-creature of sorts and Paul Giamatti as a super opens a week from today. I don't know how many of you have read this frighteningly ill conceived piece about LitW in EW's latest issue. I've been thinking about it ever since I read it. It's an excerpt from a book on 'the making of.' The problem is this: If you hire someone to write a book about your genius, it's bound to be a comedy even if you, the subject, are a genius. Real books don't have such embarassingly naked PR agendas.

I have contradictory feelings on Shyamalan. I loved The Sixth Sense but found the follow-ups (Unbreakable, Signs, The Village) to be both finely crafted and, well, stupid. For lack of a better word. They all have fine moments but it's almost like his raw filmmaking talent (man can direct a scene) is continually thrown off by questionable/dumb ideas that think themselves brilliant.

Surely by now everyone knows that M Night is a narcissist but what is surprising to me about the whole thing is how he has become the narcissist. He's hotter for Shyamalan than even QT is for Tarantino. Consider: Tarantino (wisely) did not appear in Kill Bill despite having been a blemish in all of his other films. M Night is much easier on the eyes but he still isn't a good actor. But rather than giving up (a la Tarantino) he has apparently written himself a larger world-saving role this time. See what I mean about stupid?

Reverse Shot has some interesting words about this EW debacle and also about the actual film which they call "ineluctably, maddeningly, memorably bizarre", thus raising my interest from none to lots. I'm all for memorably bizzare... even if it involves M Night Shyamalan's insatiable ego.

Director in the Water

The return of self-aggrandazing auteur M Night Shyamalan is nigh upon us. His fairy tale Lady in the Water with Gwen Stacey Bryce Dallas Howard as a mer-creature of sorts and Paul Giamatti as a super opens a week from today. I don't know how many of you have read this frighteningly ill conceived piece about LitW in EW's latest issue. I've been thinking about it ever since I read it. It's an excerpt from a book on 'the making of.' The problem is this: If you hire someone to write a book about your genius, it's bound to be a comedy even if you, the subject, are a genius. Real books don't have such embarassingly naked PR agendas.

I have contradictory feelings on Shyamalan. I loved The Sixth Sense but found the follow-ups (Unbreakable, Signs, The Village) to be both finely crafted and, well, stupid. For lack of a better word. They all have fine moments but it's almost like his raw filmmaking talent (man can direct a scene) is continually thrown off by questionable/dumb ideas that think themselves brilliant.

Surely by now everyone knows that M Night is a narcissist but what is surprising to me about the whole thing is how he has become the narcissist. He's hotter for Shyamalan than even QT is for Tarantino. Consider: Tarantino (wisely) did not appear in Kill Bill despite having been a blemish in all of his other films. M Night is much easier on the eyes but he still isn't a good actor. But rather than giving up (a la Tarantino) he has apparently written himself a larger world-saving role this time. See what I mean about stupid?

Reverse Shot has some interesting words about this EW debacle and also about the actual film which they call "ineluctably, maddeningly, memorably bizarre", thus raising my interest from none to lots. I'm all for memorably bizzare... even if it involves M Night Shyamalan's insatiable ego.

Say What? Lady

Two winners this week for amusing dialogue ads or captions. First up is ModFab with a topical spin. (Go see that movie. The Al Gore one not the Shyamalan --you probably don't need prodding for the latter given the usual opening weekend takes)

(Go see that movie. The Al Gore one not the Shyamalan --you probably don't need prodding for the latter given the usual opening weekend takes)

And we also have Trashbag Kid with a Oscar related funny...

Say What? Lady

Two winners this week for amusing dialogue ads or captions. First up is ModFab with a topical spin. (Go see that movie. The Al Gore one not the Shyamalan --you probably don't need prodding for the latter given the usual opening weekend takes)

(Go see that movie. The Al Gore one not the Shyamalan --you probably don't need prodding for the latter given the usual opening weekend takes)

And we also have Trashbag Kid with a Oscar related funny...