Yes, No, Maybe So: "Sucker Punch"

This goes out to anyone who caught the Sucker Punch trailer and anyone who cares about women as action heroes. Which, as you know, The Film Experience does. Unfortunately caring about something and enjoying it in practice are two different things. In practice there are so many things that can go wrong...

The trailer begins with an abused girl fights back set-up (a blouse ripped off and a  button flying in slo-mo. Suggested rape as your opening gambit? Distasteful). Emily Browning is playing the lead role of "Baby Doll" and reading the summaries, I see something about a lobotomy? Is that why the performance looks so sleepy/blank? Not promising. But soon enough Abbie Cornish and Jena Malone appear and seem to be channeling the kind of badass bitch energy that films like this need as life blood. They're both good actresses and I'm especially curious to see Abbie let loose given that I've mostly seen her in heavy dramas, corseted or otherwise.

There's some sort of Matrix like plot where reality is not reality... but we're in Baby Doll's imagination instead which, as it turns out, is like a parodic version of the imagination of a teenage boy: in her alternate reality, she's a master swordswoman / hooker who fights giant samurais, robots, zombies, aircraft, and dragons. She's backed up by a whole army of interchangeable blonde sex workers with machine guns.

Who knew that hookers were criminally insane, that their imaginations were so similar to teen boys, or that their favorite movies were Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, Beowulf and 300?

On the other hand...

You wants us to watch the über watchable CARLA GUGINO doing a funky accent while ruling over a posse of criminally insane burlesque backup dancers? I mean... hells yeah. Count me in... as long as the movie is so bad it's good and knows how absolutely stoopid it is. (Past history suggests, unfortunately, that Zach Snyder is way too earnest a filmmaker to do justice to the ridiculous content of his movies. And Dawn of the Dead showed such promise, damnit.)

Summaries of Sucker Punch's confusing "girl retreats into imaginary universe to escape her wicked father" storyline, suggest that Carla is one of the villains. But in the trailer, she seems to be playing Laurence Fishburne's "Morpheus"" to Browning's idiot cousin version of "Neo." I have a loftier film icon in mind for Carla's gifts: Can't someone give her her own Cristal (Showgirls) level "Goddess" role soon. Time is running out.  'She's gettin a little old for that whorey look.'

Are you a yes, no or maybe so? 

I'm leaning hell no unless I hear that the lively cast of supporting actresses are fun enough to redeem the non-entity central role -- if this trailer is indication (let's hope it's not) Browning has only three expressions in her arsenal: scared, constipated, braindead. Can the fun cast make any kind of impression amongst the visual chaos/violent excess of Zach Snyder's sexual fantasies Baby Doll's imagination?

Related articles: Watchmen review
Action Heroine blog-a-thon
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DVD: Push and Knowing

It's the day you've all been waiting breathlessly for. You can finally watch superpowered Chris Evans, Djimon Hounsou and Dakota Fanning throw things around (with their minds! ooooh) since Push, their flop f/x thriller has arrived on DVD. You can watch it in the privacy of your own dorm room / apartment / house / attic / basement and conjecture about how long Chris Evans career will last now that his agent doesn't want him to do beefcake anymore. Hopefully his agent has seen The Proposal and has realized that beefcake sure isn't hurting Ryan Reynold's career. Or you can watch it and wonder about how well Dakota Fanning will bridge the child star / young adult actress divide.

I don't mean to sound so snarky because against my better judgment I am actually curious to see this. But like I said back in February...

I'm sure it would be better if Mo'Nique was in it.

Much better.

Unfortunately for us, Mo'Nique's buzzy picture Precious, the movie that once shared this film's name, is not available for our viewing until November 6th. We can't wait.

Also on DVD

• Box office hit Knowing which I had hoped to see nominated for abundant Razzies including Worst Actor in Perpetuity Nicolas Cage [my review]. Unfortunately Roger Ebert shoved his thumbs way up into its dumb deterministic disaster porn and thus saved it from its deserved fate.
  
• The Unborn, a horror movie about a twin that never made it and is angry about it. Carla Gugino and Gary Oldman appear for reasons that only their managers or bank accounts can explain. Where are the projects for these two actors? But the plot got me to thinking about a fantasy book that spins on this same, malevolent dead twin theme called The Bone Doll's Twin. If you like fantasy books, I recommend.
  
• I had no idea that the stars of the scary Joy Ride (2001), Steve Zahn and Leelee Sobieski, reunited for another thriller. They did. It's called Night Train and it went straight to DVD.
• And though it's not its first time on DVD, Kathryn Bigelow's vampire cult classic Near Dark (1987) has also been rereleased today... to coincide with all the hoopla regarding her work on The Hurt Locker? Maybe not. There's been no publicity to celebrate the connection. That's too bad.
  

Link Me Gently With a Chainsaw

Bad Taste pics of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland
Candy Kirby "George Clooney: The Other White Meat"
The Guardian is a fan of Mark Strong, supporting man
THR They're making Heathers into a musical? What rhymes with "F*** me gently with a chainsaw"?
Pop Elegantarium "Girl Power". So cute


The Film Doctor About the red herring opening act in Psycho. Basically, I can read about that movie every day of the week
Showbiz Cafe has a bunch of scenes from Almodóvar's Broken Embraces. I personally don't watch anything but trailers from a movie -- I like to keep the experience for the theater and in proper context -- but I realize I'm in the minority in online non-spoiler viewing habits)
Carla Gugino picks five favorite films. Barring Casino she has extremely good taste. I just expressed my love for her and now I must multiply
The Big Picture wonders, in the wake of Last House on the Left if the MPAA is ever going to be disgusted enough by rape to give a movie the NC-17 that they'll slap you with instantly if a woman actually enjoys consensual sex onscreen? See also: This Film is Not Yet Rated. No really, see it. My answer is not until American culture learns to love women more than they love violence against them and that seems a long way off... (sigh)
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Hump Day Hottie, Carla Gugino

Will someone please explain to me how Carla Gugino has been relegated to playing drunken senior citizens (see Watchmen). Carla Gugino! She is a spry sexy 37 year-old... only 7 years older than screen daughter Malin Akerman and as far as I can tell a far better actress, too.


Not that Watchmen showcases that (Zach Snyder doesn't appear to be an actor's director in any appreciable way). But I wish she had played Silk Spectre II instead of I. Given her willingness to bare her slamming bod and her frank sexual screen presence, I'm fairly certain she would have sucked on Billy Crudup's radioactive blue fingers most convincingly. And if Patrick Wilson is going to thrust away bare assed at someone that isn't Kate Winslet, it should have been her. I'm certain of it.

That said and perhaps overstated, I couldn't exactly call myself a loyal Carla fan: I've never seen Spy Kids or Karen Sisco or... well, I actually haven't seen that much of her so perhaps I'm wrong to assume the best. Yet I always straighten a little in my seat when I see her in a scene. She generally steals it from those sidelined bit roles she gets. I'm thinking primarily of her forthright counsellor in The Lookout, her angry ex-wife in American Gangster, that messy/lusty friend in Center of the World or her lesbian officer in Sin City... if you ask me she nailed the latter film's difficult tone better than almost any actress involved. Plus she didn't let Mickey Rourke take her scenes for himself. That's a feat considering how terrific he was in the movie [a medalist right here]. And then there's always her agent in underwear on Entourage to ogle. Yes I like my women bossy onscreen.

I want to see her in a plum big demanding role in a prestige picture just once. Just a guess but I bet she'd devour the scenery. *

Red Carpet Lineup

Post Oscars the the crowds are smaller but red carpets never stopped being walked on. So here we go with this week's sampling.


Maribel Verdú would like to know what it is with French actresses and The Film Experience. How about some attention for the Spanish ladies? Rupert Friend and Keira Knightley attended the opening of his film The Young Victoria (previous post). Rupert will be the love of Michelle Pfeiffer and Emily Blunt's lives this year onscreen. Offscreen he's still Keira's. They make such a beautiful couple but they're both so angular one wonders if they keep gauze and surgical tape on their nightstands just as a precaution. Cheekbones that kill.

Breaking news: Charlize Theron still hot, still knows it. Can we please have more Carla Gugino and Miranda Richardson onscreen? Come on agents, casting directors, producers etcetera. Use them (We discussed Miranda earlier). More on Carla next week since Watchmen opens today. She's playing Silk Spectre, the first. Speaking of... Malin Akerman is smirking at me. 'You can try to shove me off to the side Nathaniel but I'm coming for you. After Watchmen, I'll be everywhere. Like Megan Fox all over again.' I'm not quite ready to say uncle. We'll see how she does as Silk Spectre II. Was it just me or did Malik sort of blow that bitchtastic opportunity she had in 27 Dresses by playing it safe? That movie needed a dose of over the top villainy to give it some flavor.

We'll end with the stars of the sibling ex-con drama I've Loved You So Long, Elsa Zylberstein and the great Kristin Scott Thomas. They're pictured left at the Cesars (France's Oscars) last week. Elsa didn't ever get real traction for the supporting race here at the Oscars but in France she won the statue. Kristin was nominated for lead actress (as were two other actresses we adore Sylvie Testud and Tilda Swinton) but lost to Yolande Moreau in Séraphine which is about the french painter Séraphine de Senlis. That biopic swept the Cesars winning seven prizes. It isn't only the American Academy that loves the epic period bios. I'd say to expect this to be France's submission for next year's Oscars but for the fact that France always has an enviable supply of dozens and dozens of valid contenders.

My interview with Kristin is now up!

Shangri Link

<-- Electronic Cerebrectomy has an ode to delicious Carla Gugino
Slant Ed Gonzalez has apparently been saving up the funny bile for year-end Oscar contenders. Stand clear
European Film Awards The Winners!
NewNowNext is excited to see Savage Grace @ Sundance
Towleroad rumor about Tom Ford's Hollywood takeover plans

NY Times I think I have to read this book Zeroville. The first paragraph name drops Liz Taylor & Montgomery Clift. And tattoos them on the protagonist for good measure. Yummy
Reports from the Edge loves Paul Rudd... and apparently Julia Roberts does, too

short but sweet
Merlin Mann speaks a truth about The Bening & Sharon Stone
The Fabulon offers divine advice for any weekend [nsfw]

someone I don't give enough love to...

Boyd @ European Films is always doing a great job. But there's so much to cover, where to begin with the linkage. Tons of great reviews and coverage of foreign language offerings

I'm just asking...

Has Jake Shears (of Scissor Sisters fame) been reading my 'Naked Gold Man' columns, or something?

As soon as the upcoming Oscars are over, they'll release...
A period comey with Amy Adams (doing Marilyn Monroe... sorta???) & Frances McDormand called Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day. If Amy Adams can make this type of thing a hit, we'll know she's the next Julia Roberts or whatever the hell people are desperately wanting her to be...

Thoughts?

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