FYC Hell: Alice in Uglyland and the Art of Self Editing.

With screeners arriving and campaign parties starting, awards season is raring to go. The Oscar FYC ad pictured below, the first of the season, arrived today in my mailbox from the delightful Guy Lodge with the completely sensible command "Stop. This. Now." As many of you know, I loathe Tim Burton's Mia in Uglyland but I'm not dumb enough to think that it doesn't have a shot at a handful of Oscar nominations. Money, and hundreds of millions of bags worth of it -- each much larger than the Red Queen's oversized noggin -- goes a long way towards warming industry hearts.

The ad starts with the Claudia Puig USA Today quote "The movie should come with a note marked 'Watch me' for its extravagance of whimsy and wonder." and proceeds to list the names of 28 awards hopefuls (some of whom are very talented indeed... but... 'stop. this. now.' indeed)

There are so many things to be concerned with on this page, not least of which is how many optometrist appointments Ms. Puig seems to have cancelled recently.

[more bitching after jump]




Guy notes that you know this is going to end with Johnny Depp getting at least a Comedy Globe nod and my heart died a little from this astute prophesy. See, I love Mr Depp. I thought he absolutely deserved the Oscar for his rich and instantly iconic comic creation in The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003). Just a couple of weeks back I was caught up in some Edward Scissorhands again and admiring the invention and, this is an important note, sublime simplicity of that early performance.

But Depp, like his preferred auteur Burton, seems to have lost his knack for self-editing. I'm thinking of self-editing because the finale of Project Runway just aired [SPOILER] and self-regarding crunchy bohemian amazon Gretchen won the contest over richly inventive diminutive pattern-freak Mondo. The judges dinged Mondo for his lack of self-editing skills. While I thought Mondo deserved the win (like Burton, he's a uniquely creative fellow), I can't say that they weren't entirely off the mark in this one criticism. Did the clothes really need those pattern ball hats and other accessories... which read cutesy and pulled attention to themselves and their color and pattern repetitions rather than allowing you to just enjoy the great already busy clothes?

Now, one can easily claim that a movie blogger such as myself, examining my own cinematic brain vomit like tea leaves each day of the year, has no business bitching about anyone's lack of self-editing.... and to this I'd say touché but also: different field, different purpose, different budget (none), different cost (free), different team (i.e. none to talk you out of your worst impulses or help you shape your best ones with their own creative expertise)

Anyway... it wouldn't hurt Burton at all to be asked to deliver something on a tiny budget with a team who isn't completely enamored of / dependent on his brand. There needs to be someone to say "Um, that's a lot of garishness in one scene, let's pare down!" or "I get where you're going with this... how about we try it this way which accomplishes the same thing but is less fussy/muddy/ornamental!"

Edward Scissorhands (1990) still looks sensational twenty-years later. For a film which collects avon ladies, gothic castles, daytime talk shows, elaborate hideous hairdos, ice sculptures, scissor handed simpletons, christmas parties, and crazy ass topiary the size of two-story buildings under one broken drafty roof, it's remarkably uncluttered. It's suffused with whimsy and wonder. Someone should deliver it to Mr. Burton and Mr. Depp's offices with a note marked "Watch me." 

Thoughts I Had While Watching... Alice in Wonderland

[Sigh]. You guys...

"Where have you been lurking?"

I've been meaning to write about Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland for weeks now. But every time I so much as thought about doing so I felt a pit in my stomach as deep as that rabbit hole to Underland. I hate the movie sooooooo much. The flames... breathing... on the side of my face.

Why must it exist to taunt me with its billion dollar gross? Way to reward a filmmaker for lazy stagnation. Just pick a famous property, collect your usual coconspirators and then throw shit at the screen. Literally! You can convert it to 3D later. A billion dollars will be yours! As long as the masses recognize the title and you have a bankable star, you're gold. (See also: Sherlock Holmes).

I can't bear to watch the movie a second time. I usually skim back over when I write about films -- so these are just a few scattered thoughts expanded from my notes and my tortured memories of the nightmare witnessed.

<--- Alice sees a green spotted pig because, why the hell not? Nothing has to make any sense. The very essence of the property robs the lazy of having to pick which of their visual ideas to use.

Underland
What was with the "Underland" thing anyway? If you wanna get cute about messing with the title, at least have the balls to change it. Tim Burton's Alice in Underland would still be a stinking pile, but a rose by any other name would not smell as rancid. It can be quite enjoyable and fascinating to see artists riff on past stories, concepts and ideas from previous artists which is why we should all be thankful for the public domain (which greedy corporations are always trying to end... as if they had any hand in the original blood sweat and tears creativity). Once a story has been around for 50-75 years, shouldn't it belong to the world in actuality the way it belongs to the world in the abstract sense?

But just because you can riff on a past work, doesn't mean you should. Especially if you have nothing of value to add.

Ugliness
Mia Wasikowska is a pretty young thing but Alice is a dud. And she's even slightly ugly of personality at the end. Why does the screenplay make her mean spirited? At the end of the movie she actually humiliates her suitor by mentioning an unattractive health problem he has (I forget what it was). Yes, she is right to refuse the marriage offer from Lord Doofus (I don't care what his character name is, it matters not). But to humiliate him while doing so? Most lazy pandering movies present the unsuitable suitor as SO unsuitable that virtually no one should ever marry them. Said suitor should die miserable and alone. Remember WAY back in the day (a decade back, I guess) when movie women did not have hateful suitors or fiancees? As recently as the 90s filmmakers used to trust the audience to understand the nuance of "this guy is not right for her, which is too bad because he's kind of cool/nice." (see Reality Bites, Sleepless in Seattle and others). It wasn't always "this guy MUST be humiliated because he is so awful and oh, the very thought of her with him! You go girl, dump his ugly/insufferable/rude/unfeeling/cheating ass!" I swear to God Hollywood thinks we all have the EQs of lint. "This character good *grunt*. This character bad *grunt*."

Wouldn't her film-ending decision have had more gravitas if she had to say no to a good guy because, the dull domestic life wasn't for her. She's made for larger world travelling ambitions. Wouldn't that be more stirring? Something to actually think about while the credits played? I mean who wouldn't run from the life choice presented her? What kind of a character arc is that?

But her ugly insult and lame story arc is only a tiny thing. Everything in the film is ugly, whether by design, color combinations or sheer excess: The sets, the busy costumes, the special effects. Even Anne Hathaway is ugly and how is that possible exactly? That's not possible without the aid of hideous lighting and makeup design.

It's hard to feel bad about The Court and its way of life being destroyed in The Mad Hatter's backstory exposition flashback scene because that is ALSO garish. Sure, burn it down. No one will miss it.

Johnny & Helena & Alan
Johnny Depp has starred in seven Tim Burton films. The first two collaborations are classics (Edward Scissorhands and Ed Wood) The third is solid (Sleepy Hollow). Thereafter its tough to argue that he was necessary or even right for any of the roles. You can't be a daring unpredictable weirdo icon if you become totally safe, predictable and familiar in your daring unpredictable weirdness. These things don't go together. MOVE ON.

The only actors who seem to be working above the material are Alan Rickman, a droll voice choice for the stoned caterpillar with that resonating slightly phlegmy bass of his and Helena Bonham-Carter. Her red queen is the saving grace of the film. Or rather the life raft. The film is not saved but her impeccable timing and focused stylization generally make her scenes tolerable. It's even hard to be annoyed by the nonstop CGI "help" because she knows what she's doing and she's doing it skillfully.


"You've lost your muchness."
This line, spoken by the Mad Hatter to Alice is a good one. It could well apply to Tim Burton, though. He has definitely lost his muchness. In its absence, he compensates with MUCH. The film is always always always too much. Every scene is tricked up with gaseous CGI swirls as if the celluloid can't stop farting.

Even the Chesshire Cat, usually a textbook example of the simplicity of great illusions, doesn't really disappear so much as dissapate into computer generated fumes. Adding to the smell is the distinct impression that the print had been urinated on by someone with a Jabberwocky sized bladder. Why was garish yellow their color of choice?

The movie's over compensating muchness, most obvious in its hideous color palette, busy f/x detailing (wait, this quarter of the frame is empty... throw some weird animal into it! Hurry!!!) and super long redundant sequences which manage to convey exactly one idea each -- fall, chase, fly, fight, etcetera -- reminded me of four other movies. George Lucas's entire ugly Star Wars prequel trilogy has a similar redundancy of one note scenes as well as a shared affinity for grotesque but unappealing creature designs. And most of the action sequences, lamely executed to a one, reminded of that patience testing dinosaur run in King Kong. King Kong was a fairly successful remake but that one scene stuck out like a sore thumb. It added virtually nothing to the story, it was redundant visually, it was OBVIOUSLY special effects (so the film stopped feeling seamless) and it went on forever... at least twice its justifiable length.

These are not good things to be reminded of.
F

<--- "Goodbye sweet hat"

Some final statistics & observations

• Running time in Underland: 108 minutes
• Running time in Nathaniel's apartment: 108 hours
  
• Length of time before I became annoyed: 41 seconds. I blame the absolutely unsurprising score by Danny Elfman. Same as it ever was. I liked his score for Milk a lot recently. Step away from the Burton, Danny Elfman, Danny Elfman.
• Standard length of time before Nathaniel usually starts shifting uncomfortably in his seat hoping that the movie will soon end: 91 minutes (comedy) / 109 minutes (drama) / never (A/A- minus level movies. I just watched The Best Years of Our Lives which is 172 minutes long and I could have watched an additional 220 minutes if William Wyler had only let me. But that's a topic for a forthcoming post.)
• Moment in which I stopped hating the movie briefly but can't for the life of me remember why: Something about the Mad Hatter in his new office making hats for The Red Queen.
  
• Percentage of scenes with more f/x than there needed to be: 89%
• Missed opportunities for subtext: ∞
  
  
• Last time it was super easy to love a Tim Burton live-action movie without reservations: 1996's Mars Attacks!
  
• Last time Tim Burton made a truly excellent movie: 1994's Ed Wood
  
• Moment I began to suspect that Alice was by far the worst movie Tim Burton had ever made: The 43 second sequence in which Alice falls down through the green scree -- rabbit hole and keeps on falling. And keeps on falling. And kept on falling through sloppy green screens and random imagery, furniture and obstacles that she had to duck or collide with. Was it a movie? A video game level? A test reel? A bad drug trip? Whatever it was, it was pointless. I don't know if you've ever timed other big movie sequences but 43 seconds is a really long time. You can fit a lot into 43 seconds if you aren't phoning it in or editing on quaaludes.
  
• Offscreen moment of which I am most ashamed: Wishing Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton would have a horrible row and break up for good. One should never wish ill on happy couples. But she's such a good actress and she's just stuck in ever worsening movies.




• Number of times I wished that Anne Hathaway had never seen Amy Adams' Enchanted performance: 1,194
• Number of times you miss something 3D cool if you watch it in 2D: 0
• Number of times I thought about great Tim Burton films wistfully: 94
• Number of times I even wished I was watching Planet of the Apes or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory: 4
• Number of times I lost the will to live: 1*
  
• Number of times I actually died: 0
• Number of future films by Tim Burton I'd like to see: ...guess.

*I made it all the way through this article without once mentioning Johnny Depp's breakdancing. Wait, oops!
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The Bad, The Bad and The Ugly

I don't know how many of you caught my tweet a week back when I finally got through Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland (more on that soon if I can stomach it)...


..but the following three things are probably living in its toxic proximity. Sometimes I like to mush all the bad things together, roll them around in my mouth until they're one giant blob of suck, which I can then spit out and be done with. This is the way I deal.

Suck 1 Nicole Kidman signed to Cage/Schumacher Flick.
This was announced almost exactly 15 years after Batman Forever opened. Weirdness. If Nic' really wants to travel back in time to 1995, shouldn't she be thinking more along the lines of Gus Van Sant's To Die For?

It's evident to most thinking people -- those that don't reflexively hate on her at least -- that Ms. Kidman has great taste in art flicks and abyssmal taste in mainstream projects. The Latest Evidence: Trespass, from the makers of 8MM. It really shouldn't be this hard to choose your mall films inbetween the ones you're doing for your craft. If you're looking for something mainstream, cozy up to any number of respected directors who are mainstream at heart (or half the time) but still always shoot for art or quality. I'm talking about your Scotts, Scorseses, Spielbergs, Soderberghs, Finchers, Manns, etcetera. You might not get to be in a $200 million grosser but chances are, the movie won't be universally hated. But starring opposite Nic Cage with Schumacher directing you? Dear god, why? It's like asking for trouble.

Schumacher is capable of making a good movie (Tigerland) and Kidman already knows him (Batman Forever) but it's the combo of Cage & Schumacher. That screams BAD MOVIE. Nic Cage, my arch nemesis, already dragged Julianne Moore down with him (in the truly exerable Next) and now Nic' too? Who's next on his hit list?

Nicole and Baz in January 2002. Good times! --->

Suck 2 Baz Luhrmann still hasn't decided on his next project.
The Playlist acts like the abundant possibilities (The Great Gatsby, a Bollywood style musical, or a historical epic) are good things and he'll start filming in 2011 and maybe we'll even get a musical (!) If I know Baz this is not good news but bad, bad news. He's had two years of downtime and he still hasn't decided on his next project? He hasn't even narrowed it down by genre? There's at least three possibilities and likely more? That means we're at least a year away from a decision. Then someone has to write a script and then the studios have to decided whether or not to bankroll it and then Baz has to tinker with it endlessly in pre-production. It'll be 2015 before we get another movie. That's at the earliest and only if we're lucky. Mark my words.

<-- Joss with "Echo" and "Angel"

Suck 3 Continued MGM Fallout.
Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods is delayed again. It's not that I care so much about a 3D horror film but that I'm always rooting for Joss and whenever there are hold ups (as there continually are here and there will continually be on The Avengers) that means more and more time away from his true calling: series television. MGM's woes throw kinks in other things, too. The James Bond franchise was totally reinvigorated when Daniel Craig put on the tux. And just as it was worth caring about again... denied. That legendary lion hasn't roared in some time but the nostalgic part of this cinephile's heart really wants it, too.

Talk me through this sudden dark mood. What would you have Nicole Kidman do? Why must Nicolas Cage contaminate the filmographies of so many fine actresses? Will Baz ever get back to work? Will there ever be another 'Craig, Daniel Craig' Bond film? Will Joss ever realize that he should go to pay cable for a new television series?

Randomness: Mad Hatters, Wolf Men, Born Stars, Sad Texans

• I didn't cover the new DVD releases last week but Alice in Wonderland and The Wolfman (previously reviewed) debuted and I figured 'Why hold a poll to see which movie you want me to cover when I know that Tim Burton's blockbuster will win?' I'll write about that one (finally) soon. In the meantime, now that you've had a chance to look at Benicio all hairy, what say you? This morning I was suddenly wishing Johnny Depp had played the werewolf and Benicio the Mad Hatter. Mixes up expectations a little, no? In both cases the casting felt a little too "spot on", which is why it's so weird that Benicio was so terrible (and terribly bored) while playing wolf. And maybe the Depp / Blunt pairing might've been a truer bodice ripper?
  
  
• From here on out the DVD reader request poll will be bi-weekly (starting next week) so that I can keep up with the reviews. Previously: An Education. Next: The Road and Alice in Wonderland.
  
  
• Streep at 60 the series returns this afternoon. I hope you'll have plenty to say about one of her craziest star turns.
  
  
  
• Today is the 88th anniversary of Judy Garland's birth (née Frances Gumm). Since Judy G is one of my ten favorite stars of all time, you know that the first thing I did this morning was click on over to Nick's Flick Picks to see him wrap up his Best Actress project with A Star is Born (1954). Oh, the torture! He's making us wait a little.
  
  
  
• Confession: I've been on a TV binge lately. Maybe it's those upcoming Emmy nominations (July) haunting me and convincing me to get caught up on Dexter, United States of Tara, Nurse Jackie, Glee (I continue to be madly in love with Lea Michelle's voice. I could listen to her all day long.) and Friday Night Lights. Regarding the latter: I know that it's not an Emmy favorite but that's just one more knock against their validity as an institution. Last week's episode "The Son" had me crying harder while watching television than I have since Buffy's "The Body" some years ago. Some fans and media types are trying to energize a Zach Gilford for Best Supporting Actor campaign but Emmy, as my wisest TV guru friend Joe Reid reminds me, has a really tough time noticing a show ever if they don't notice it right from the start. And if Emmy can't see that FNL's lead actress Connie Britton is consistently worthy of the actual statue (I'm talking even better than great movie actresses gone TV like Holly Hunter and Glenn Close on their respective shows and skyscrapers above some other regulars), well... how would they notice a supporting actor? Emmy's loss. With the exception of Mad Men, there's not a better drama on television.
  

Sound off on all of this randomness in the comments. Surely you have feelings to share, be they of the couch potato, lycanthropic or friend-of-dorothy variety.
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DVDs: Tea Parties, Sex Education, and Magick Lanterns

What's out on DVD today and which will you be watching?

Sherlock, Dr. Watson and tag-along Jenny. She likes older men, y'see.

• Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
  I pray that Jason Lee is doing charitable things with the money. Did this make money or were the gods merciful and there'll be no Threequel which is a less offensive word than Squeakquel you must admit
  
• An Education
  Time to find out what all the 2009's Mulliganza! was all about if you didn't catch this coming of age breakout the first time around. If you did, enjoy the detailed supporting work the second time around. How the hell does Emma Thompson pack so much punch into her every line?
• The Baader Meinhof Complex
  
Germanic movie star roll call ahead. The German Oscar nominee hits DVD so you can find out if it deserved to lose to Japan's Departures. You can already 'watch instantly' on Netflix.

• Sherlock Holmes
  The performances are enjoyable but to tell you the truth the central mystery bored me (since you couldn't play along at all). What I found most mysterious was this: what is Rachel McAdams doing with her career? And why could you barely see her through the immense costumes?
  

and a couple of classics...

• Alice in Wonderland "Special UnAnniversary Edition"
  I haven't seen Disney's version in years and years but when I was a wee tyke I lived for the Cheshire Cat. You are not surprised. You know about my cat fixation, surely.
  
• Kenneth Anger's Complete Magick Lantern Cycle
  I haven't seen 2/3rds of this avant-garde landmark collection. Yes, I am ashamed.
  

Which of these DVDs does Nathaniel have to post about next Monday?
Boss him around with your vote! (Last week you made him watch Fantastic Mr Fox)

poll by twiigs.com

You chose AN EDUCATION. Here's the Write Up.

Just Link With It.

/Film Chris Evans offered Captain America? I like Evans but I hope his management doesn't take this as some sort of sign that they were right to ween him off of the beefcake. He did it so well. That'd be like asking Hollywood's young actresses not to maximize the power of their cleavage. That'd be wrong. It'd be positively un-American!
Dear Jesus offers alternative Alice in Wonderlands she'd prefer to Tim Burton's.
Just Jared Penélope Cruz's role in 4th Pirates of the Caribbean revealed
i09 Enver Gjokaj (Dollhouse's MVP) is headlining a new web series he describes as "Twin Peaks Meets Clue" Two great tastes... but will they taste great together?
Film Essent Uppity liberal Kym Voynar lets Mississipi have it for cancelling their prom. GO KYM! (Now, I realize she spells her name "Kim" but after Rachel Getting Married I'm just changing the spelling for everyone else now. You're welcome, Kym Basinger!).
Guardian pokes fun at the Best Actress Oscar Curse. How should today's A-Listers avoid it?
IFC Some people don't want to let Precious-bashing go. It's a handy way for them to feel superior to those who love it. But the blatant willingness to disregard any element of a movie that doesn't fit your critical thesis (in write-ups like this and those before it) only reminds me of the sick state of US politics. It's all spin.

bummer news (for me at least)...

Keith, Sunday and Nicole at some airport or another last week

I was all ready to roar back to the Nashville Film Festival next month (I'm on the New Directors jury) when I got the bad news. Nicole Kidman, who was a likely attendee, will not *sniffle* be there after all. I don't know which upcoming movie is likely to blame for stealing her away (the travel-heavy lives of the rich, famous and well employed you know) but it better be a Moulin Rouge! and not a Stepford Wives if I have to go without her. It's hard to tell with Kidman because she always has so many projects lined up and the line-up is never very stable (not that anybody's is in Hollywood with start dates always shifting and people always bolting for new offers). After the grief drama Rabbit Hole (which she's already wrapped) there's the romantic comedy Just Go With It but that one is already filming and I'm assuming her role is small or even a cameo. Based on plot descriptions, Jennifer Aniston and Adam Sandler appear to be the leads. They're pretending to be a couple -- Sandler enlists Aniston to help win him some other girl -- which means that they are the real couple of the movie. You know how predictable rom-coms are. Somewhen during their charade, they'll realize that their pretend feelings are real!!! I'm sorry. I forgot to shout SPOILER. But you know as well as I do how these plots go.

Say What Queens (White and Red)

I am such a spazz lately. I totally forgot about this Alice in Wonderland inspired "saywhat?" contest. So I debut the winners today on the day of the film's opening. It all works out in the end! Though as I said in this week's Towleroad article (where I also discuss the Depp/Burton partnership and that Jeremy Renner/Ben Affleck interview on Oprah), who on earth would think to open a new movie on Oscar weekend? I'm too busy wrapping up my feelings about last year's movies! Let's start with the 2010 movies next week, mm'kay?

The winners of the caption contest are Dusty Hixenbaugh


I love the absurdity of powdered sugar coffee. That's taking "light & sweet" too far. Though that's how I take mine.

and this one from Anthony Argenti


haha.

March: Linkage County

Oscar Time
And the Winner Is... Jews for Basterds. Interesting tiny story from the final days of voting.
Nick's Flick Picks "Best Actress Project 2009" astute writeups on this year's Oscar contenders.
Movies And... "10 Things I Want to See on Oscar Night"
Hollywood Elsewhere Will Anne Hathaway be in it to win it in the next Best Actress race?

Off Oscar (yes, other things exist)
ModFab The August: Osage County screenplay is complete. Still no word on casting but it won't be the original stage cast.
John August on not writing the new Alice in Wonderland. Interesting piece on the gestation of screenplays

"Fuhgeddaboudit"

You know what I really miss? Johnny Depp as recognizably human characters.

I feel this pang every time I see a commercial for Alice in Wonderland with that orange fright wig. I fell for Johnny as Crybaby and Edward Scissorhands and I was thrilled when the whole planet fell hard for him (finally!) when Captain Jack Sparrow arrived on a sinking ship. But over the years Cartoon Johnny has become the brand. Seeing Johnny work his dramatic muscles? Fuhgeddaboudit. I thought we'd go there last year with Public Enemies but something didn't quite take.

It's not that I don't love the stylized cartoons. Nobody does that better... but I think some grounded stretching might be artistically rejuvenating. Lately my mind keeps drifting back to Donnie Brasco (1997) one of his best and least discussed performances. I'd love to see him do something like that soon.


It'd be especially thrilling if he was paired with an actress as fiercely individualistic as himself again. Anne Heche is absolutely special in that movie. The multitude of beats and backstory grudges and thorny specificity and sexual attraction she works into that performed relationship is quite a feat. She so deserved an Oscar nomination that year. And deserved more from Hollywood in general.

Where was I? Heche stole the movie from everyone and now she's stealing this post from Johnny! I would have nominated them both that year. My lists woulda looked like so...

1997 Best Actor
Russell Crowe, LA Confidential
Johnny Depp, Donnie Brasco
Christopher Guest, Waiting For Guffman*
Ian Holm, The Sweet Hereafter
and I'll leave one spot open since I somehow have still never seen Robert Duvall in The Apostle

1997 Best Supporting Actress
Kim Basinger, LA Confidential
Anne Heche, Donnie Brasco
Julianne Moore, Boogie Nights
Parker Posey, Waiting For Guffman
Christina Ricci, The Ice Storm

Are you looking forward to Mad Hatter Johnny or do you want something less Mad sometime real soon?

*Yes, that's a 1997 movie. IMDb confuses people. It was released in 1997

Say What, Queen?

Amuse us. Caption one (or both) of these photos or give it dialogue in the comments. I'll choose a couple of winners and repost on Monday. Your captions/dialogue don't have to be related to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. There are no rules once you've stepped through the looking glass.

Off With Your Head!

Press play. It magically provides your soundtrack for this post.

Four hundred and twenty-three years ago this very day, Queen Elizabeth had the deed done.

Mary Queen of Scots' head would roll. Which in movie-land means that Cate Blanchett (at her most blustery) ordered Samantha Morton right out of her own movie, Elizabeth: The Golden Age. Such a shame since that movie really needed another actress capable of going head-to-head (I apologize!) with the diva at its center.

Lords knows Abbie Cornish wasn't doing it. I'm so pleased that she rocked Bright Star, thoroughly redeeming herself after that early "what's the fuss?" stage.

Anyway, my point is this: I l o v e Samantha Morton. Don't you?

And I hate it when people I love or people I'm totally curious about are suddenly written out of the movie I'm watching. Has that ever happened to you?

You may be asking yourself "Why the hell is Nathaniel talking about decapitations?" and that's a perfectly sensible question. But you'd be thinking gory thoughts too if you'd just watch The Wolfman (more on that Thursday) which loves to separate heads from bodies. Ewww.

P.S. I want Karen O to score more movies. Awesomeness

P.P.S. Even though I realize now that Helena Bonham-Carter is playing the Red Queen rather than the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland I'm glad she screams "Off with her head". You shouldn't mess with the classics.

P.P.P.S. I apologize for bringing up Elizabeth: The Golden Age. So uncalled for!
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Someday Her Prince Will Succumb

Remember that awesome Disney Princes gallery? The one where the underexploited toon men were suddenly objectified? Here's what you might consider a subversive counterpart. Jeffrey Thomas has imagined Disney's heavily marketed Princesses -- not all of them actual royals but amply exploited by Disney all the same -- exploring their darkest sides.


It didn't take much twisting to make Belle fierce. She was always formidable, y'know. And then there's Alice (Don't judge! Who wouldn't go criminally insane in Wonderland?). Thomas' gallery, which Loyal K*N*G pointed me too, also includes Cinderella in a rotting pumpkin, Mulan looking fierce, Pocahontas on the hunt (clean that knife girl!) and Tarzan's Jane wearing a cheetah (no not "Cheetah" dear god, not that). See the whole thing.

By the way, if you loved that eroticized Prince gallery that I told you about early last year, you should know that artist David Kwaena has expanded the gallery. In addition to new 2D men, he's added live-action hunks like Will Turner from the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, Zac Efron from the High School Musical franchise and James Marsden's goofy Prince Edward from Enchanted (pictured left, but why isn't he biting his fist? Why?!? That's the best part!) Check it out.

The Wonderland Teaser

A peak through Tim Burton's looking glass



Curious. I've been wondering for awhile how Johnny Depp's starpower would affect the story, the Mad Hatter being a relatively minor character. At least in trailer form he becomes the narrator of the tale. Teasers sometimes use framing or narrator devices that don't appear in actual films in a sort of "presenting!" way ... but this seems more than likely as a way to expand The Mad Hatter's role.

There is a place...
like no place on Earth.
A land full of wonder, mystery and danger
Some say to survive it you need to be as mad as a hatter...
...which luckily I am

At any rate I hope they don't waste too much time explaining things to the audience. One thing that works absurdly well here is how quick you get to wonderland. The initial story points are so instantly recognizable -- fall down rabbit hole, drink potion, meet an odd array of characters (Tweedlee Dee and Tweedle Dum, The Cheshire Cat, etcetera...) before the more dangerous insanity begins -- that I hope the film doesn't dawdle but speeds through its wonders to keep us as disoriented as Alice.

Once a better quality teaser emerges (this one is so muddy... probably from all the copying and reposting -- the teaser was a blink and you'll miss it affair yesterday) I'll replace this one.

The Mad(onna) Hatter

A friend of mine kept saying that the new photos of Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter reminded him of none other than Madonna. So, he followed up with morphthinged evidence to prove his theory...


Hmmm, musta been that endearing gap tooth that tipped him off. Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland Madonna in Wonderland coming to theaters... never.

Come to think of it... maybe this was Madonna's problem with the acting side career in the the late 80s and early 90s. She needed to be doing small bits in weirdo movies like Alice... She kept trying to play characters that any actress might essay when an outsized offscreen celebrity persona actually requires a larger-than-life / fantastical character to contain it -- in the absence of a true acting gift, that is, which only rare pop stars (Cher and, hmmm, Sting? Dolly?) turn out to have. The roles that fit best were thinly-veiled-Madonna (Desperately Seeking Susan, Star), Madonna (Truth or Dare... and yes, I consider that a performance and her best one), Breathless Mahoney in Dick Tracy (cartoon) and Evita (larger than life!)

Alice in Teaserland

Maybe "Tweedle Dee!" should be the new "Squeeeee!" for excited exclamations. You've probably seen the new images via USA Today and the info on Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland? But I'd like to talk about the cast and the polish. One of the only pluses of mainstays like 'Wonderland' being retold each decade over original work is to see how the different eras and visual artists interpret them.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum

Wonderland. If you click over to USA Today you can move
around in the gardens with your mouse. For what it's worth it looks like
Edward Scissorhands has been hired as Wonderland's landscape artist.

Mia Wasikowska as Alice (the oldest Alice since Meryl Streep?) and
Matt Lucas as Tweedledee and Tweedleydum

Helena & Anne Hathaway as Red & White Queens. Depp as Mad Hatter.
I love what My New Plaid Pants says about the latter: "if Elijah Wood
and Carrot Top had a baby" Ha!

The look is certainly eye-popping and I will be there on day one (March 5th, 2010 to be exact) but maybe the saturation (will it be garish onscreen?) and practically-an-animated-movie CGI smoothness is worrisome. Is Burton moving too far into George Lucas 'make it up on the computer later!' green screen terrain as a filmmaker? And given that we're seeing a batch of teasing photos a full 270 days before this is opening is this going to be one of those movies (like Terminator Salvation or Spider-Man 3) that shows and tells all prior to its release?

What, me? Worry???

I'm thinking about Burton's oeuvre today because i09 is remembering the game changing public mania that surrounded the release of Tim Burton's Batman 20 years ago tomorrow (June 23rd, 1989). Yes, long before Nolan made that crazy successful The Dark Knight, Burton was largely creating our current movie culture. Supermans I-IV beat him to the superhero game but their very rapidly diminishing returns didn't make the superhero franchise idea all that viable. It was Burton and that yellow and black symbol, plastered on everything, that did it.

Remarkably that particular Batman starred neither Johnny Depp (the star of literally 50% of Burton's filmography) nor Helena Bonham-Carter (who appears in 6 of Burton's 14 features). If the film were remade today they'd be your Batman Joker and Vicki Vale replacing Jack Nicholson and Kim Basinger.

<-- You know they would!

I'm exaggerating a little since their absence was a given. Burton probably hadn't even met them. In 1989 Depp was still on 21 Jump Street and Helena Bonham Carter was that tiny corseted Merchant/Ivory dress-up doll.

Burton's Troupe O' Players

Johnny & Helena aren't the wild haired auteur's only favored thespians. He isn't quite Woody Allen or Scorsese in the steady faces game, but here's a list of his other pets. I personally think he's underused Sarah Jessica Parker who aced both of her Burton roles, totally understanding his peculiar comic tone.

6+ collaborations
Johnny Depp & Helena Bonham Carter

5 collaborations
Lisa Marie (Burton's ex) - Ed Wood, Mars Attacks!, Planet of the Apes, Sleepy Hollow and the short Stainboy

4 collaborations
Christopher Lee - Sleepy Hollow, Corpse Bride, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Alice
Deep Roy -Planet, Big Fish, Charlie, Corpse Bride

3 collaborations
Danny DeVito -Batman Returns, Mars, Big Fish
Jeffrey Jones -Beetlejuice, Ed Wood, Sleepy
Michael Keaton - Beetlejuice, Batman, Batman Returns
Glenn Shadix - Beetlejuice, Planet plus Stainboy

2 collaborations
Albert Finney -Corpse Bride, Big Fish
O-Lan Jones -Edward Scissorhands, Mars
Martin Landau -Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow
Jack Nicholson -Batman, Mars

Sarah Jessica Parker -Ed Wood, Mars
Vincent Price -Edward Scissorhands and the short Vincent
Paul Reubens -Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Batman Returns
Alan Rickman -Sweeney, Alice
Winona Ryder -Beetlejuice, Edward Scissorhands
Timothy Spall -Sweeney Todd, Alice
Missi Pyle -Big Fish, Charlie
Sylvia Sidney -Beetlejuice, Mars Attacks!

Who are your favorite Burton players? Share in the comments. Do you think he should keep reusing people or move on like Paul Thomas Anderson when he left all his regulars behind for There Will Be Blood?

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previous post: "60 Appropriate Ways to Celebrate Meryl Streep Today"
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Alice's Wonderlink

Playbill the cast of Broadway's Addams Family musical adaptation is announced. Bebe Neuwirth is such a great choice for Morticia. Not happy about Gomez.
Cinematical Hedy Lamarr by way of Rachel Weisz?
Esquire First official (rave) review of The Road. Apparently they've added voiceover since I saw it.
Bad and Ugly Iron Man 2 @ Randy's Donuts
If Charlie Parker... the statuesque Julie Newmar


Pink is the New Blog Megan Fox on the High School Musical franchise. If Megan Fox were half as interesting onscreen as she is in sound bites I would be a major fan. ......Sadly, she's not.
Pixar see the latest UP -isode in beautiful quicktime. People with irrational love of chocolate (I am one of said people) will particularly enjoy. I have this weird thing with Pixar movies in that I'm never excited before they arrive but then I'm thrilled to be watching them once they do.

And finally I don't know whether to praise or diss Underwire for pointing to this trippy image generating site YoooouuuTuuube and this clip "Alice" which is all kinds of cool if you're into the general hallucinatory potential of Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland. You can plug other YouTube clips in too, so naturally I had to try my girls Madonna, Michelle, and Nicole. Basically this is the latest way to waste hours (literally) of your life on the internet.

Saturday Night Link

Moon in the Gutter uploads an Elisabeth Shue clip from 14 years ago (!) and reminisces about Leaving Las Vegas.
Fin de Cinema has a ton of Cannes 09 posters. Love it
/Film a glossary of terms to explain the new Alice in Wonderland screenplay
Screengrab kicks Winona Ryder when she's down (fearing that she might get back up)
Carpetbagger looks at spring's limited release sleeper success. Can you guess which movie? I haven't seen it yet but I did take note here.
Big Monster Cinema has awesomely weird posters and taglines. I wish movie marketing would go completely B-Movie again.


Bleeding Tree apologizes for his original support of the PG-13
Birth of a Notion gives update and personal notes on Farrah Fawcett and her battle with cancer.
Cinema Styles has a thought provoking post on acting and 'career-long characters'

ULTRA SPECIFIC POINTLESS RANT
Have you heard of the film The Tree and the Forest? It just won the Jean Vigo Prize in France. That award honors films of independent spirit and style... they don't have to be considered perfect, just passionate and original. I find it maddening that in 2009 in the magical world of the internets I can't find any info about this film other than the names involved in making it. Boo. There are so many creatives out there making movies, music or art or whatever who still haven't realized that you have to have an internet presence. I've bitched about this before with struggling actors... it's self-sabotage not to have a website in the new century. Even semi-successful people make this mistake. For instance: I was looking up Sutton Foster the other day online. The first website that comes up (underneath Wikipedia) claims to be official but it hasn't been updated since 2005. Meanwhile Sutton has a new album out but you wouldn't know it was available for purchase unless you were friends with her on Facebook or you happened to know the title of the album and you searched for that. Get it together people (Sutton's hardly the only minor celebrity failing in this regard). You can sell more records, movie tickets, merchandise, even (theoretically) get more jobs if you are easy to find / accessible.
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Rosengje @ ShoWest

Rosengje, a regular commenter here @ the Film Experience, sent me some thoughts from ShoWest, the motion picture industry convention which ends today, to share with y'all. I'm all about sharing. I haven't been to Vegas in years -- never really enjoyed it -- but I admit jealousy since so many blogposts and tweets were flying at me directly from Sin City.

Here's Rosengje....

The primary topic of conversation at ShoWest has been the digital and 3D revolution. Jeffrey Katzenberg's commitment to converting as many theaters as possible to 3D prior to the release of Monsters vs. Aliens was highlighted in Jim Gianopulos's opening remarks. (Incidentally, can anyone think of Gianopulos without reminiscing about Mickey Rourke's ill-fated attempt to thank the Fox honcho during the Spirit Awards?) The K in Dreamworks SKG made a special appearance and participated in a panel on "How to Stay Ahead of the Curve as the Industry Confronts the Future."

There was a lot of self-congratulating: the success of Monsters vs. Aliens and the industry's proven strength despite the recession were both highlighted. The tone quickly shifted during the panel, as Katzenberg was increasingly pitted against the exhibitors. The undeniable rock star of the event was Cinemark's Lee Roy Mitchell. Mitchell was interrupted three times for applause, primarily over encouraging distributors to help bear the cost of the digital conversion. Mitchell emphasized the importance of giving breaks to small towns in order to encourage digital appreciation in under-served markets.

Most relevant to the Oscar race was the discussion over the importance of programming a 52-week year. As any good Oscar watcher knows, studios relentlessly push their product to late fall. Not only does this limit audience investment in the outcome of the myriad awards bodies, but it leaves cinephiles with limited reasons to frequent the theater during off-peak months. This topic was broached, but with a mainstream focus. Almost all of the exhibitors protested the summer blockbuster glut. Perhaps the success of Monsters last weekend can help shift this paradigm.

Tuesday morning featured a presentation from Alan Horn on Warner Brothers' summer schedule. McG made an appearance to introduce a 5-minute preview of Terminator: Salvation. An extended trailer for upcoming comedy The Hangover surprisingly got huge laughs. Alas, those presentations paled in comparison to a surprise appearance by Robert Downey, Jr. to introduce the first trailer for Sherlock Holmes. The footage looked slightly campier than anticipated, but RDJ and Jude Law had a clearly defined camaraderie and Rachel McAdams provided a great spark.

I can never decided whether to be enthused about this film or not. Any suspicions out there? Seems like a wildcard equation what with Guy Ritchie behind the camera x totally brilliant cast ÷ dusty franchise character = ??? What exactly?

The most exciting development on Tuesday was the Disney Digital 3D Presentation. The audience was treated to previews of Disney's 3D projects through 2011. This included early artwork for Alice in Wonderland, in which Anne Hathaway looks divine, Tron 2 and G-Force. Disney made a number of exciting announcements. Alongside the release of Cars 2, Pixar will provide "Cars Toons." Cars is my least favorite offering in their oeuvre, but "Tokyo Mater" was endearing. The same model they'll be using for the 3D rereleases of the Toy Story movies will be applied to a 3D release of Beauty and the Beast in February 2010. This is the decision I found most problematic. We were treated to Beauty's opening song in 3D and while it is a novel experience, it seemed redundant.

Er... I'm trying to imagine this with more shadows or something.

The real, treat, however, was ushered in by the arrival of Up director Pete Doctor (Monsters Inc). Pete introduced 47 (!) minutes of footage from the film. The movie looks to continue Pixar's unbeatable cinematic magic streak. The movie played slightly less cerebral and more mainstream than WALL-E, but still featured heavy elements like the death of the main character's wife early on in the proceedings. Pixar's approach to 3D varies quite a bit from the other products that have been previewed thus far. Instead of seeking "wow" moments, the technique is deployed to heighten the spectator's emotional connection to the screen. This includes strategic flattening of images or expansion to grant a scene a more dynamic quality. We were also shown an action sequence at the end of the film that was just as thrilling as those featured in Paramount's G.I. Joe trailer.

A little more a little bit later from Rosengje. I wish I could've taken in the Vegas sun (so gray here) with Rosengje and me pal Katey among other film folks... but I'll get a little film-related travelling of my own this month. I'm jurying the Nashville Film Festival in a couple of weeks and will report about that right here. Nicole Kidman has been known to show up at screenings there so wish me luck at spotting the goddess or any star wattage equivalent... not that there's a Kidman equivalent. There's only one!
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