Memoirs of an Oscar-Baiter

You know. Tonight is the Project Runway reunion episode. And it's also Sasha Cohen's long program at the Olympics. So do I have time for a bunch of phonetics happy geisha? Sure. I can write today's countdown entry with a single spurt. I am ready.



One of my favorite moments this past year here at the site? The day when Memoirs of a Geisha actually opened and I stopped getting hate mail for my review. Instantly! Funny, no? Scathing e-mails about my critical ability and obvious bias and suddenly vindication and I'm one of the kinder reviews. But let's put that aside. Back patting is boring in large doses. Let's talk Oscar. After all, plentiful stinky reviews aside, Geisha came up nearly smelling like a cherry blossom on January 31st when the nominations were announced.

Continue Reading this article...

Memoirs of an Oscar-Baiter

You know. Tonight is the Project Runway reunion episode. And it's also Sasha Cohen's long program at the Olympics. So do I have time for a bunch of phonetics happy geisha? Sure. I can write today's countdown entry with a single spurt. I am ready.



One of my favorite moments this past year here at the site? The day when Memoirs of a Geisha actually opened and I stopped getting hate mail for my review. Instantly! Funny, no? Scathing e-mails about my critical ability and obvious bias and suddenly vindication and I'm one of the kinder reviews. But let's put that aside. Back patting is boring in large doses. Let's talk Oscar. After all, plentiful stinky reviews aside, Geisha came up nearly smelling like a cherry blossom on January 31st when the nominations were announced.

Continue Reading this article...

Happy Birthday Angel

If you think at all like me, you probably think that this former enfant terrible is going to win an Oscar someday (they love their Hollywood royalty and/or sex kittens making good, even when they've never really been thought of as an actor with a capital A).

My three favorite performances of Drew's in descending order? Scream (96) no really I do mean that horror cameo as her best performance, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (03) no really -- I mean that sequel, yes. And for her third most favored trick I don't know... Never Been Kissed(99), The Wedding Singer(98)? I don't know. Donnie Darko(01). It's an undecided. I want her to really kick it up a notch soon though, before people lose interest.

Happy Birthday Angel

If you think at all like me, you probably think that this former enfant terrible is going to win an Oscar someday (they love their Hollywood royalty and/or sex kittens making good, even when they've never really been thought of as an actor with a capital A).

My three favorite performances of Drew's in descending order? Scream (96) no really I do mean that horror cameo as her best performance, Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (03) no really -- I mean that sequel, yes. And for her third most favored trick I don't know... Never Been Kissed(99), The Wedding Singer(98)? I don't know. Donnie Darko(01). It's an undecided. I want her to really kick it up a notch soon though, before people lose interest.

Who Authorized This?

Last night on Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or whatev they were talking about celebrity divorces and financial settlements. I guess due to the Simpson/Lachey split. And they just throw out this nugget about Hilary Skank Swank earning $10 million a movie.

Who authorized this?! Why wasn't I consulted? Two Oscars and ten mil' a picture? When she's never "opened" a damn thing? ARGH. After she's finished scarring me for life on March 5th, I expect she will then devour the world.

Who Authorized This?

Last night on Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or whatev they were talking about celebrity divorces and financial settlements. I guess due to the Simpson/Lachey split. And they just throw out this nugget about Hilary Skank Swank earning $10 million a movie.

Who authorized this?! Why wasn't I consulted? Two Oscars and ten mil' a picture? When she's never "opened" a damn thing? ARGH. After she's finished scarring me for life on March 5th, I expect she will then devour the world.

Hump Day Hottie: "Selene"

I'm already embarrassed and I've just started typing...

I have this thing for vampires. I always have. Well, not always. As a wee toddler they scared me sleepless. But somewhere in early adolescence the fear turned into some sort of turn-on, more fuel for the theory that the hold vampiric mythology has on culture is all about sex rather than death.

Anyway...I don't even like Kate Beckinsale. Not much of an actress as far as I've seen. And I don't even like these movies. (To clarify: I like them in concept just not in execution as you can see from my review of the first film)

In the first film the only remotely sexy thing for me was Scott Speedman as Michael's transformation into this hybrid thing, part werewolf/part vampire, pictured here to your right. (The blue skin --gotta be the blue skin? I also swoon for Nightcrawler and, when a child, dug the Smurfs) To part 2's credit, it gets him shirtless and blue quickly and often.

But this time out I was all about Selene. As is the film's director, Len Wiseman, who ceaselessly objectifies his young wife. There's this moment when Michael (Speedoman) unzips Selene (Mrs. Wiseman) from her derivative but über tight costume and her breasts are tantalizingly almost out. It's really quite hot in a PG-13 Zalman King kind of way (this post: from simple embarassment to abject humiliation in no time flat).
Plus she has fangs, she has Dune eyes, she has superhero powers, and she gets wet. A lot. I had no choice but to select her.

I apologize for putting you through this.

Previous Hump Day Hotties for your distraction... Capote Boys, "Starbuck", Newton, Rhys-Meyers, Penn,Madonna, Murphy, McAdams, Jake & Madonna, Bloom, "Lady Tottington", Craig, Viggo & Maria , Béart, Kaneshiro, Fiennes & Weisz

Hump Day Hottie: "Selene"

I'm already embarrassed and I've just started typing...

I have this thing for vampires. I always have. Well, not always. As a wee toddler they scared me sleepless. But somewhere in early adolescence the fear turned into some sort of turn-on, more fuel for the theory that the hold vampiric mythology has on culture is all about sex rather than death.

Anyway...I don't even like Kate Beckinsale. Not much of an actress as far as I've seen. And I don't even like these movies. (To clarify: I like them in concept just not in execution as you can see from my review of the first film)

In the first film the only remotely sexy thing for me was Scott Speedman as Michael's transformation into this hybrid thing, part werewolf/part vampire, pictured here to your right. (The blue skin --gotta be the blue skin? I also swoon for Nightcrawler and, when a child, dug the Smurfs) To part 2's credit, it gets him shirtless and blue quickly and often.

But this time out I was all about Selene. As is the film's director, Len Wiseman, who ceaselessly objectifies his young wife. There's this moment when Michael (Speedoman) unzips Selene (Mrs. Wiseman) from her derivative but über tight costume and her breasts are tantalizingly almost out. It's really quite hot in a PG-13 Zalman King kind of way (this post: from simple embarassment to abject humiliation in no time flat).
Plus she has fangs, she has Dune eyes, she has superhero powers, and she gets wet. A lot. I had no choice but to select her.

I apologize for putting you through this.

Previous Hump Day Hotties for your distraction... Capote Boys, "Starbuck", Newton, Rhys-Meyers, Penn,Madonna, Murphy, McAdams, Jake & Madonna, Bloom, "Lady Tottington", Craig, Viggo & Maria , Béart, Kaneshiro, Fiennes & Weisz

"oscar blahblah oscar blahblah movies blah"

oscar blabbing (some link love)
Ed & Eric at Slant give their must-read breakdown of each Oscar race
Filmjerk throws #s at me. I get a headache. Me no do math.
Kris gives me nightmares predicting still more future glory for Opie & Spielberg. Can't we please move on?
NY Times discuss Jon Stewart's Oscar gig.
Lylee on the mannered (& nominated) performance of Huffman (& Hoffman)

more to movies than Oscar...(more link love)
Josh Horowitz interviews the long missing Whit Stillman. Funny stuff.
Tom Tykwer is (finally) back. This trailer unnerves me.
Dark Horizons passes along the strange rumor that Ang Lee is following up Brokeback with a lesbian biopic.

"oscar blahblah oscar blahblah movies blah"

oscar blabbing (some link love)
Ed & Eric at Slant give their must-read breakdown of each Oscar race
Filmjerk throws #s at me. I get a headache. Me no do math.
Kris gives me nightmares predicting still more future glory for Opie & Spielberg. Can't we please move on?
NY Times discuss Jon Stewart's Oscar gig.
Lylee on the mannered (& nominated) performance of Huffman (& Hoffman)

more to movies than Oscar...(more link love)
Josh Horowitz interviews the long missing Whit Stillman. Funny stuff.
Tom Tykwer is (finally) back. This trailer unnerves me.
Dark Horizons passes along the strange rumor that Ang Lee is following up Brokeback with a lesbian biopic.

Missy! Missy! Missy!

I am deeply ashamed. I always pick up Missy Elliott's new CDs the day they drop. Outside of maybe Björk I think she's the most inventive, funniest, most fascinating musician working. But today I was at work, stressed out of mind. It was raining. It's muggy. I forgot. Oh the shame! So The Cookbook will have to wait until tomorrow.

But while I wait I shall share my fav Missy songs for your information. In rough (and subject to change) order:

01 she's a bitch -da real world
02 all n my grill - da real world
03 i'm really hot -this is not a test
04 get ur freak on -...so addictive
05 let me fix my weave -this is not a test
06 work it -under construction
07 pass that dutch -this is not a test
08 sock it 2 me -supa dupa fly
09 hot boyz -da real world
10 4 my people -...so addictive
11 hit 'em wit da hee -supa dupa fly
12 izzy izzy ahh -supa dupa fly