Michigander

I suppose I ought to tell you that I'm on the road (or in the sky as the case may be) on an off lately --thus the widening gap between posts. I really want to talk about my experience at the Drive-In last night (Yes, Michigan still has 'em) but I need access to my actual computer to do so. Visuals, don't you know? So you'll have to be patient.

"Celestia" Strikes Back

Do you ever wonder if Coley Lafoon sleeps well at night? I mean, presumably, this sometime cameraman and actor sleeps right next to two gorgeous women each night. Get your mind out of the gutter: Both of these women inhabit the same body, don't you know?!

Yes, lying there right next to him in the body of his gorgeously off wife, the actress Anne Heche (Happy Birthday girl!), is another being known only as "Celestia" who hails from the Fourth Dimension.

For those of you who cherish celebrity meltdowns (you know who you are!) Anne Heche's craziest days --roughly 1999 to late 2001-- have to rank in the utmost echelons of top star-fueled vicarious thrills for those of with normal lives. We watched as she plunged heartfirst into the world's most famous lesbian relationship, starred in lots of movies, broke up with her more famous girlfriend, wandered in the California desert unhinged, and did a Barbara Walters special and came out about her alter-ego, Celestia. Finally she documented it all in an autobiography called "Call Me Crazy."

Celestia's desert wanderings in the 2000 as she sought God and spaceships in Fresno (?) after splitting with Ellen DeGeneres are top tier classics of the celebrity meltdown genre. Anne Heche's escapades are way edgier than Angelina Jolie's pull quotes, way crazier than Hugh Grant's indiscretions, way more imaginative than Robert Downey Jr.s equally career-killing drug habit, and somehow less desperate and definitely sexier than Margot Kidder's sad headlining breakdown.

Now that Ellen DeGeneres, Heche's former love, is publicly besotted with another Ally McBeal alum (this time it's Portia deRossi who played "sub-zero Nell", currently on Arrested Development) might jealousy and regrets prompt another Celestia episode? Celeb watchers can only hope. This is not to wish Anne harm or continual employment to her therapist. But, truthfully, can you really ever move on after publishing tell-all biographies and speaking to God in your own invented language? These things probably stick with you.

More Celestia/Heche fun?
Revisit that famous Barbara Walters interview -click here.
For two funnier takes on the same thing, there's always Fame Tracker. Hee. And this.
Could you make it work with a crazy chick like Anne?
Anyone know if this TV pilot got picked up?
I'm not the only one who loved the Celestia episode, don't you know...
All that said. Anne is totally hot --I mean, can you really blame Ellen for putting up with her?
She's also a terrific actress.

Poll Madness

The Lusty Month of May: Star Wars Edition

Inspired by a particularly whack e-mail I received last week, there's a new poll on the site catered to those who get a hormonal rush of any sort from that galaxy far far away... (not that there's anything wrong with that. Whatever floats your land cruiser.)

May 24

I promise that the rest of May will be available on the site tonight but in the meantime. Happy Birthday to...

... Jim Broadbent, 55, one of the finest character actors in the world and the 2001 recipient of the FiLM BiTCH Award for Best Supporting Actor. He also won the Oscar that year but for the wrong movie.
...Roger Deakins,55, ace cinematographer. It's almost impossible to pick a favorite piece from his outstanding filmography . Go ahead and try ~ His resume includes gorgeously shot stuff likeBarton Fink, Rob Roy, Dead Man Walking, Fargo, Kundun, O Brother Where Art Thou?, The Man Who Wasn't There, A Beautiful Mind, and The Village and that's a sampling from only the last 15 years. Up next for Deakins? The gulf war memoir Jarhead. Will he finally win that Oscar that's eluded him?
...Kristin Scott Thomas who is 45 today and still a cool beauty. Chromophobia, her latest film which premiered at Cannes, didn't get a lot of buzz coverage but at the very least it reunites her with her former onscreen perfect match for icy gorgeousness, Ralph Fiennes. You'd think that reuniting the stars of The English Patient would be an angle worth marketing. If you like Kristin (and if you don't -- why the hell not?) I suggest a viewing of something you might not have seen like Angels & Insects in which she is typically strong. Or, if you want something a little more recent try watching Gosford Park again. Helen Mirren and Maggie Smith got all the attention (and Oscar nominations) but Thomas was also dependably terrific.

And Happy Anniversary to Kate Winslet & Sam Mendes. May 24th marks their 2nd wedding anniversary.

"Truck Stop Theogony"

The following is an advertisement for "a choral reading of an epic poem" which happens to be written by my best friend (it's brilliant, he's brilliant. therefore you should go) -thus its improbable appearance on this here movie & theater blog:

The Writer's Voice Reading Series Presents:
"TRUCK STOP THEOGONY"


"The pump attendant was a girl whose job -
Or rather whose entire existence -was
To fill the bellies of the gods with gas"

'With sixteen wheelers as gods and a Wyoming gas station as the gods' Olympus, "The Truck Stop Theogony," tells the story of the Pump Girl, a servant destined to undo the world and unleash "love's deadly disaese." Jon Jensen's epic spoof mixes Greek, Hindu, and Judeo-Christian myths with Mormon oral histories. In form, it combines the blank verse of Milton and the twang of Country Western. The poem seeks to reenvision faith and love in a world where "gods and men, machines alike, all run on power borrowed, stolen, bought or bled" '

Thursday, June 9th, 2005
8:00 PM
the George Washington Lounge @ the West Side YMCA
5 W 63rd Street (Between Central Park West & Broadway)
Admission Free & Open to the Public / Wine will be served

Aslan Comes Out

Before Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith on Friday night all of the teasers & trailers for wannabe blockbusters were popping off the screen.

Batman Begins
Can't wait.

Fantastic 4
Yes, it still looks like bad.

The Island
The first teaser (linked above) is much more effective than the new trailer in theaters. The trailer here gives you a small idea of the storyline. The trailer in theaters is a mess. All explosions and no discernable idea of what they're trying to sell. No applause in the theater despite the very applaudable pairing of Ewan 'lightsaber' MacGregor and Scarlett 'pink panties' Johansson. They even get horizontal in the trailer. I give that a standing ovation, personally. I don't know what was wrong with the crowd in my theater.

The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
LotR fever strikes studios. This is an obvious attempt to deliver the next big multi-film classic fantasy book adaptation at holiday time. I am a bit surprised that they let Aslan out of the bag this soon, visually. (Though I can't find this trailer online yet) Perhaps I'm overstating. How many ways can a lion look exactly? Maybe they never planned on keeping him hidden. At any rate, you'd think they'd save him for the trailer a month before the actual premiere. My favorite image in the trailer is the brief glimpse of Tilda Swinton as the Snow Queen. Perfect casting.

Mr. & Mrs. Smith
This trailer sells explosions and mayhem. But it's Jolie and Pitt both on fleshy display that caused the explosion amongst the audience.

cannes winners

Palme D'Or The Child d. the Dardenne brothers, Belgium
Grand PrixBroken Flowers d. Jim Jarmusch, USA
(this film's cast is sorta spectacular: Bill Murray, Jessica Lange, Tilda Swinton, Julie Delpy, Sharon Stone, etc... um, wow.)

Jury PrizeShanghai Dreams d. Wang Xiaoshuai, China
Best ActorTommy Lee Jones in The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Best Actress Hanna Laslo in Free Zone d. Amos Gitai, Israel
Best Screenplay Guillermo Arriago for The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
Camera D'Or (First Film)
(tie) Me, You, and Everyone We Know d. Miranda July
and The Forsaken Land d. Vimukthi Jayasundara, Sri Lanka

Sith, Cher, and Cronenberg

random thoughts from Saturday morning...

01 Why did I see Revenge of the Lucas last night? Hasn't George tortured me enough? Maybe my therapist is right...Maybe I am a masochist? And why did the train take 28 minutes to arrive and then go 'local' when I was already bone tired from enduring Lucas's relentlessly busy and gaudy images?

02 Yesterday was Cher's birthday and I really meant to do a post about The Year of Cher, which was (for those confused due to her impressively lengthy career) 1987 in which she had hit records, constant media coverage, and three movies Suspect with Dennis Quaid, The Witches of Eastwick with Sarandon, Pfeiffer, and Nicholson, and her Oscar winning star turn in Moonstruck. I meant to write about the best actress race that year and to congratulate the Academy (something I am prone to be stingy about) for choosing so well. Five women all of whom were deserving of their nominations. So, I guess you'll never know that I loved all five of the nominated performances that year: Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, Holly Hunter in Broadcast News (I like to pretend this nomination covers her spirited comedic work in Raising Arizonaas well), Meryl Streep in Ironweed(I still get chills thinking about her belting out "He's Me Pal", and Sally Kirkland in Anna.

03 Little Women is closing on Broadway. So my SuttonFosterLovin' best friend will be mightily pissed that by the time he arrives in August, Sutton will no longer be "Astonishing" each night in the new musical.

04 Who will win in Cannes today? Maybe they've already announced... it's soon at any rate. Buzz has the Cronenberg (A History of Violence), the Dardenne (The Child), and the Haneke (Hidden)as major contenders for something or other. Best Actor might be between Aragorn himself, Viggo Mortenson, and French star Daniel Auteuil. Of course there's always a chance that Jarmusch or Von Trier will be called.

Kathleen clobbers Jessica & Natasha

Excellent article from diva-obsessed Ben Brantley on a trio of famous actresses taking on three legendary roles on Broadway this season.

Professor Xavier's Comic for Gifted Writers

I have been genuflecting to Joss Whedon (Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Firefly. etc...)too much lately. But here's one more:

First, a generous heaping of backstory:

When I was a wee young thing in the 70s I stopped at the local 7-Eleven and picked up an issue of The Uncanny X-Men (issue #126 to be exact) and began descending into comic madness immediately thereafter. Each month felt like Christmas morning, opening up the pages to see what adventure, threat, personal drama, or battle awaited Nightcrawler, Kitty Pryde, Storm, Colossus, Cyclops, Dazzler, The Beast, etc...

Many years later I stopped reading because the comics just didn't do it for me any more. Some say it's an age thing. But I don't know... See, I love the medium itself. Still. I think it's just as valid as any other for storytelling and aesthetic possibility. But I just can't get into the actual comic books anymore. I try, maybe twice a year. I walk into comic shops, flip through a few things, maybe buy a few. And then immediately lose interest again. So maybe it's both age and a creative drought in comics? Maybe I just don't like the art anymore? I hated the Jim Lee (?) years of everyone drawn with the same gargantuan muscle look, which was not the case in the 70s/80s when superheros actually did have different body types, always fit of course but they weren't all injecting steroids and implanting silicone monthly. Anime is cool but I also hated when that became the standard look. I don't like every artist's work to look the same. Maybe I'm just picking up the wrong books? At any rate I lost a lot of joy in comic book reading. And I never got it back.

About Last Night:
A few months ago I started picking up issues of Astonishing X-Men when I heard that Joss Whedon was doing a one year writing stint. Color me impressed. After four issues now, I'm getting close to youthful obsession again. This last issue was a doozy. I really love what he's doing with these iconic characters, and I can't wait for the next issue when Professor Xavier attempts to put the smack-down on the Danger Room, which is now sentient and in humanoid form. Ouch. Now, I don't want to oversell this. But it's possible that last night when I closed the comic I was, for a fleeting millisecond, shocked to find myself in my 30s, on a subway in Manhattan, surrounded by strangers instead of in my parent's living room with the green carpeting and exposed brick wall, all giddy and pre-adolescent.

Are there any comic book readers reading? And if so, what else am I missing in the comics world? Or was I correct to stay away for many years?

George "Palpatine" Bush

This whole Darth Vader as George Bush thing detailed here, there, and every which where is kind of fun to follow and also rouses my curiousity more than I expected. Though I am, in point of fact, still dreading seeing the actual film.

Oh, I know you're not supposed to judge a movie before seeing it. But consider how desecrated my childhood memories of Star Warsand Empire Strikes Back felt once I first spotted Anakin "Yippee" Skywalker in Phantom Menace, the CGI creation: the one who shall not be named, and realized that the only cool new character in a series that used to have gazillions of cool characters would meet a quick light-saber demise after just a few minutes of screen time, how am I too feel otherwise. I'm still shocked at how much I hated Episodes 1 & 2.

But anyway. Politics. This new Star Wars debate is all kinds of funny and all kinds of sad ---It takes a blockbuster movie to get the mainstream media to notice some of the creepy stuff that's been going down in our country? Discuss it we must.

...and by *'it' I mean the country's direction and not whether or not this new Star Wars film is a smidgeon better than the last two. Not that that would be a difficult feat to accomplish. And by 'not a difficult feat' I mean the quality of the movie and not the conversation this country needs to keep having, which won't exactly be a pleasant one.