Monday, August 16, 2010

Beware Take Care Bela Beware

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JA from MNPP here with this week's Monday Monologue.

The original Hungarian fang-banger Bela Lugosi died 54 years ago today. His entire career was haunted, one might say, by his role as Dracula in Tod Browning's 1931 film. He played the role on the stage in 1927 and he would be buried just twenty-nine years later in one of his costumes from that same stage production.

But as with the famed Count himself, one life wasn't enough for Bela - he'd reappear posthumously three years later in Ed Wood's crap-classic Plan 9 From Outer Space donning a familiar cape in footage shot for another project that Wood edited into the film as a nonsensical, though loving, tribute to his friend.


Or at least that's the way Tim Burton's 1994 masterpiece Ed Wood romanticizes the story. Resurrecting Bela anew, Martin Landau turned in a brilliant performance therein that finally brought Landau a much-deserved Oscar after earlier nominations for Tucker and Crimes and Misdemeanors and served as a reminder of the sad final few years of Bela's life.
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CONRAD: (Brent Hinkley): Mr. Lugosi, I know you're very busy, but could I have your autograph?

BELA: Of course.

CONRAD: You know which movie of yours I love, Mr. Lugosi? "The Invisible Ray." You were great as Karloff's sidekick.

The Invisible Ray came out in 1936 and was the third of five films the two horror icons would make together (not counting 1934's Gift of Gab, which was just an excuse for the studio to keep a slew of their stars working between pictures and is kind of like a Golden Age episode of The Love Boat). By all accounts their roles in The Invisible Ray - wherein they play scientists who've discovered a toxic meteorite in Africa - are of equal standing and they received equal billing for it. The only time Lugosi got second-billing to Karloff in all the times they acted together was in 1935's The Raven, and it doesn't make much sense there - Lugosi actually has the much bigger part! (It's also one of his finest performances, you should check it out.)

BELA: "Sidekick"??? "KARLOFF"??? Fuck you!! Karloff doesn't deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in hell, for all I care!

ED: What happened?! Jesus, Connie, what did you do?

CONRAD: Nothing! I told him he was great.

BELA: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff?!! You think it takes talent to play Frankenstein?! NO! It's just make-up and grunting! GRRR! GRRR! GRRR!


Lugosi always claimed that he turned down the part of Frankenstein because it was a non-speaking part and then he himself recommended Karloff for the role. Others claim that Frankenstein director James Whale spotted Karloff in the studio commissary and asked him to test for the part and liked what he saw. Knowing the way Bela was prone to let's say amplify his accomplishments, I don't think we'd be straying in the wrong direction if we leaned towards the latter explanation, but time's erased the facts and replaced it with a much more entertaining miasma of bickering and speculation. As time and fictionalizations are wont to do. By all accounts Bela never cursed either, but where would this performances be without all the colorful expletives?

ED: You're right, Bela. Now Dracula, that's a part that takes acting.

BELA: Of course! Dracula requires presence. It's all in the voice, and the eyes, and the hand…

ED: Look, you seem a little agitated. Do you maybe wanna take a little break, go for a nice walk... and then we'll come back and shoot the scene?

BELA: BULLSHIT! I am ready now! Roll the camera!!
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ED: Um, okay... roll camera… And... action?

BELA: "Beware. Beware! Beware, of the big green dragon that sits on your doorstep. He eats little boys! Puppy dog tails! Big fat snails! Beware. Take care. Beware!"

Wait! Pull the string! Pull the string!
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