Friday, February 12, 2010

Yes, No, Maybe So: Chloe

We reduce movie trailers to yes/no/maybe so components. It's an expectation management system so that we can go in (mostly) neutral. Ac-cen-tchu-ate the positive ...and negative. My gimmicks are too complex!



In Atom Egoyan's latest feature, Julianne Moore hires Amanda Seyfriend (title character) to test her husband Liam Neeson. Didn't Julianne ever listen to Kate Bush's "Babooshka" growing up. Fidelity tests never end well.

YES.
Two hot women getting it on? Yes doubled. That particular male gene did not escape me. Although for a split second I flashed back to Boogie Night's "will you be my mommy?" scene with Amanda standing in for Heather Graham's Rollergirl (Amanda in skates? Mmmm). I blame Julianne's love of incestuous undertones for this hallucination!

NO.
Filmmakers still have trouble making our modern computer and cel phone heavy lives exciting onscreen. There's something about e-mail, chat, instant messaging, cel phones and web surfing that is defiantly anti-cinematic. I sincerely hope this isn't an hour of Liam and Julianne staring at LED screens, cross cut with sexygirldrama! by way of Amanda's cel phone. If so, it won't be any fun at all.

MAYBE SO.
"You think you can just buy me and then I'm just going to go away?"
On the other hand, Amanda as a Mean Girl again? Might be fun though can she do it, dramatically speaking? We know she can handle it comedically. It's just that she reads very sweet onscreen. This could go horribly wrong. It might be yet another film that is elaborated plotted just to demonize female sexuality somehow. And that's so tired. But maybe it's the trailer's overemphatic text tag-lining -- "SHE WILL BECOME EVERYTHING YOU FEAR" -- that's worrying me. It's making her look like a husband-hunting-homewrecking-baby-nursing-Moore-killing psychopath. And we don't need another one of those.*

Chloe opens on March 26th.
Are you a yes, no or maybe so on this one?


Once again, Julianne... You shoulda listened to Kate Bush! Kate Bush is the answer. Kate Bush knows.



Oh Lord. Babooshka, Babooshka, Babooshka yah yah-aaah
*
*I still hate Rebecca DeMornay for rigging that glass house to chop Julianne to bits in The Hand That Rocks The Cradle. You don't touch my Julie!