Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Top Ten: Princes in Cinema

tues top ten: for the listmaker in me and the listlover in you

With the release of Prince Caspian right around the corner, I thought we'd take a look at some other royal boyz 2 men in the movies...

Top 10 Princes

10 "Prince Hector" (Eric Bana) in Troy
Straddling the abyss that opened between Brad Pitt's worst performance and Orlando Bloom's least sympathetic role, Eric Bana's massive thighs, chest and biceps performance emerged as this misguided 2004 film's only selling point and a breakthrough for him as a rising star. It remains one of the only times in this history of cinema where another male actor has managed to rip my eyes away from Brad Pitt. (Brad played all the roles in Fight Club, Sleepers, Legends of the Fall and Interview with the Vampire, right?)

09 "Prince Eric" in The Little Mermaid
He wasn't just tall, dark and handsome but he was so sweet and sensitive that you knew that Ariel needn't have given up her voice at all to be with him. True maybe she did. The film's sexual politics were all over the place but their love was true and came through in the line drawings and vocals and made that happily ever after plausible. You sure wanted him to "Kiss the Girl" [plentiful Little Mermaid posts. My apologies to the Disney averse]

08 "Charlie Princ(ess)" (Ben Foster) 3:10 to Yuma
Because he practically made the movie worth watching all by his lonesome. Free advice to all supporting actors in sleepy films: strut through the movie like you own it and you will. [Drawing to your right by Joanna. See prev post for more thoughts on this film]

07 Satan in South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut
Because the Prince of Darkness as Saddam Hussein's bitch is an appropriately irreverent, immature and inspired conceit. Satan himself would probably LHFAO.

06 Prince Karl (Edmund Purdom w/ the voice of Mario Lanzo) in The Student Prince
Because he starred in the first movie musical I ever saw at the Redford Theater where I fell in love with old movies as a kid. Sentimental value, you know. I still try to go there to catch something whenever I'm in Detroit.


05
Prince Edward (James Marsden) in Enchanted
Few things last year made me happier than Marsden's send up of Prince Charming. From the fist biting to the bravado and bombastic enthusiasm. I heart Edward.

"116th and Broadway!!!"

04 "The Little Prince" in The Little Prince
Not so much for his cinematic outings per se but just for his existence and his profound and simple wisdom. I love Antoine de Saint Exupéry's classic so much that I've read it in three languages.

03 Prince Phillip in Sleeping Beauty
Hands down the best of all the fairy tale princes. He's a fuller character than most of them (who essentially have to be only square jawed marriage-material for the princesses). He's the actual hero of his film, too --a brave heroic dragon slayer. He looks great on a horse, giving the kiss of true love, flirting with a maiden in the forest, or bound and gagged by an evil pissed-off sorceress. In short: he's even hotter than David Beckham who played him in the Disney Dreams photo series [pictured, left] and just as believable as an underwear model.

02 Prince (Prince) in Purple Rain
I know, I know. He goes by "The Kid" here but His Purple Majesty has only ever played himself, don't you agree? And for that we're grateful. But mostly we're just grateful for the CD which we still listen to 24 years later whenever the mood strikes. Soundtracks don't come with better tracks than: Let's Go Crazy, The Beautiful Ones, Darling Nikki, Wednesday, Purple Rain, I Would Die 4 U, Baby I'm a Star, Father's Song and When Doves Cry. They just don't. If you ask us, Purple Rain was the true Thriller of the 80s.


01 "Hamlet" (most actors in the known universe) in Hamlet
Like The Little Prince, he can lounge in the throne room of this list, not for any particular outing but for his longevity, his indecisiveness (Hot. Well, not really... but relatable!) and Sybil-like quality: how can you not love a character big enough to morph into Mel Gibson, Laurence Olivier, Asta Nielsen, Richard Burton, Kenneth Branagh, Maximillian Schell, Kevin Kline, Campbell Scott, Ethan Hawke and beyond?

I'm sure you'll tell me who I've forgotten. Perhaps I'll be thrown into the stocks for this sin of omission.
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