Until I pressed play, Guy did have me chuckling
Renee sings!I normally attempt to view trailers through the prism of yes (what might be good) no (what scares me) and maybe so (some "this could go either way" factor). It's my small way of combating our hype-loving film culture in which 500 gazillion movie 'fans' watch movie commercials and only a million GO to movies. But how to go "yes, no, maybe so" when within record time (exactly 11.5 seconds) I was in fetal position screaming
Renee squints!
Renee mopes soulfully in a wheelchair!
Nevertheless, I must try. You know what to do in the comments. You play, too."Noooooooooooooooo!!! Dear gods of the cinema. Why?
Why?!!! Whyyyyyyyyy?"
Renée Zellweger stars in My Own Love Songyes. That part where they hid her face and we could hear the singing (good voice, Zeéeeee)
maybe so. That animated giant bird at the end sharing the screen with the actors is so weird that I wondered for a split second if the movie was a surrealist comedy and if it was fully aware of how ridiculous it is? If so is the acting that way on purpose ???
NO.
The first 11.5 seconds which build yet another solid case that some Oscars should be repossessed... in this case two of them. The next 29.5 seconds where Forest & _______ decide they weren't quite over-acting enough in the first 11.5 seconds and they must make amends and really show us how it's done. The next part where we see the car crash that happened before (obviously) and thus are forced to worry that Olivier Dahan (La Vie En Rose) has still not learned to tell stories in a linear fashion. The next part where we get to the intertitles that would be cute if they weren't overlayed on a film that's already about two quirkly People With Problems. It's all so fucking twee. The next part when you're reminded that Nick Nolte doesn't have an Oscar but that this is one of those movies that wants to remind you that EVERYONE in it is Oscariffic(!) somehow. The next part with all the antic slapstick. The next part where the overacting returns. Staccato. line. readings. forever. The next part where things suddenly get serious (Oooh, gravitas ~ the hoary "sudden reveal of letter!") The next part at 2:11 when Forest & ______ visit the tree from The Fountain. Why I do not want to know. And I will PERSONALLY hold all 5,777 members of the Academy responsible if they force me to watch it by nominating it for anything.
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