Wednesday, August 30, 2006

P.S. I Hate Her

There was no "Hump Day Hottie" yesterday. As I was casting about for a suitable humpee, my mind wandered to the fine beefcake of Gerard Butler since that pic of him from the upcoming 300, dressed undressed in full warrior drag, has been popping up repeatedly online. I hesitated for a moment (considering the wretchedness of The Phantom of the Opera) and in that moment I was lost. My traitorous mind jumped to my arch enemy, Hilary Swank!

She ruins everything.

My mind made the leap because Ms. Skank had recently signed to star opposite Mr. Butler in a film called P.S. I Love You. It's about a husband (Butler) who dies but leaves his wife (Swank) move-on-with-your-life grieving instructions. The premise sounds terribly sentimental but it is written by Richard Lagravenese. And I gotta tell you, that man can write. What's more, that man can write really memorable female characters (cases in point: The Fisher King, The Ref, The Bridges of Madison County, Living Out Loud). Not only is she starring in P.S.... she's also already finished work on LaGravenese' other new film, Freedom Writers. So now Hilary has herself (possibly) two new great roles for which she can be wildly overpraised when they arrive in theaters.

I'll never be rid of her.


So as I was trying to forget about this ubiquitous she-devil, she starts hitting the gossip circuit again, too. Seems she was cheating on Chad and has since been outed. Her sins continue to pile up: robbing better actresses of Oscars, breaching her husbands anonymity in recovery, and now fornication with her agent (!) --to quote Addams Family Values: "I'll kill myself... the help?" --When will this girl stop? She can run but she can't hide from the fiery pits of hell!

Now, if you'll excuse me. Gerard has just woken up from a sweaty Swank filled nightmare. I really need to be there to comfort him. What? Don't judge.

tags: Gerard Butler, movies, gossip,celebrities, Hilary Swank, Oscars, Academy Awards, 300