We Can't Wait #12 The Hurt Locker

Directed by Kathryn Bigelow
Starring Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Ralph Fiennes, Guy Pearce and Evangeline Lilly.
Synopsis An Army bomb squad in Iraq tries not to get blowed up.
Brought to you by Summit Entertainment
Expected Release Date Ummm...

Joe: The Hurt Locker is probably the 2009 title we know the most about, because it played the festival circuit pretty heavily, including Toronto, Montreal, and Venice (where it won an armload of awards, if not the big one). It even nabbed two Independent Spirit nominations. Early word is very good, and Bigelow, who manages to be artful even in her failures, is said to have put together a gorgeous action movie. Nobody will see it, of course, but we can all drive ourselves crazy talking about why!

Whitney: As much as I love that there is a prolific female director working in action, I'm so not interested in this movie. And even when Ralph Fiennes is in some really wonderful films, I just want to punch him in his ugly ugly face. That's right, RaLF!

Joe: Backing away. Waiting to see how JA responds.

Nathaniel: Is it time for the Bizarrro blog-a-thon again already? Yeah that Fiennes is a dog.
No, no, no. I can't do the Bizarro-thon. I can't. I can't.

See, Kathryn Bigelow makes me feel earnest. I love her. I can't entirely explain it. I like how deadly serious her films are, even when they kinda should be funnier (hi, Point Break). Okay, at least I love the idea of Kathryn Bigelow (stereotype defying action director) even when I don't love some of the films. She'll always have Near Dark and Strange Days! Thus, this goes on my list.

Fox: I side with Nathaniel on being a fan of Bigelow. As for the subject matter ("The Iraq"), I wonder how she'll handle it. Most directors screw it up, but Bigelow seems to be a mature, even-handed lady. I'll freakin' go to war for Point Break. That movie is a joy to watch. And Near Dark? Well, can we just say that it's probably a genre masterpiece? Come on Whitney, just say it! JUST SAY IT!

Whitney: I totally blanked on Near Dark. I'll give you that.

JA: Sorry, it took me a little extra time to get all my rings off so as to deliver a scar-free Ralph-defending righteous beat-down.

Ahem.

Did somebody just go bad-mouthing my Ralph? NUH UH. That's crazy talk. Not just crazy-talk, it deserves extra syllables. Kuh-Razy Talk. And on grounds of him being ugly? Ugly? Have you only seen him in the Harry Potter movies, Whitney? He has a nose in real life, you know - a regal, parochial nose* I want to make love to on its own, at that. Not just a pair of serpentine slits. But He Who Shan't Be Spoken Of, Ralph can defend himself. He's a big boy. A big boy with an oft-deployed serial killer's sexy come-hither-and-be-destroyed stare. Swoon.


This movie didn't make my list, because I am just so over Iraq movies. Unless they can beat Channing Tatum rolling around in his underwear for several minutes, I'm done for the time being. I need a breather. That said, I do like Bigelow, and Ralph (insert fist-to-chest "recognize" thump here), and if I keep hearing that Jeremy Renner - a wonderful actor that does not get the credit he deserves - is great in it, I'll probably see it too.

* Excuse me, in my thunder I named Ralph's nose after a boarding school. I meant "patrician's nose." Do carry on. It's early. Need coffee.

Joe: I kind of like the idea of Ralph having a parochial nose, though. What kind of a nose would that be? The kind of nose that only associates with other noses like it?

Anyway, I feel like I should stick up for Whitney since I too don't find Ralph quite all that, in the looks department. That's right, I'll bear my share of the blowback from this particular explosion, much like Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie and co. will no doubt do in the movie.

And THAT'S how you bring it 'round full-circle.

Nathaniel: Ha! and indeed.

Readers, do I put too much faith in Kathryn Bigelow? Have you taken my unsubtle hints over the past few years and screened Near Dark or Strange Days? Has my unshakeable belief that action films peaked from 1986-1995 -- years which not coincidentally surrounded MIA auteur James Cameron's marriage to Kathryn Bigelow and included both of their best films -- confused my thinking? Do you have any desire to see this or are you, like JA, burnt out on Iraq movies? (Unless Channing Tatum strips in them)

In case you missed any entries they went like so...
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We Can't Wait:
#1 Inglourious Basterds, #2 Where the Wild Things Are, #3 Fantastic Mr. Fox,
#4 Avatar, #5 Bright Star, #6 Shutter Island, #7 Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
#8 Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus, #9 Nailed, #10 Taking Woodstock,
#11 Watchmen, #12 The Hurt Locker, #13 The Road, #14 The Tree of Life
#15 Away We Go, #16 500 Days of Summer, #17 Drag Me To Hell,
#18 Whatever Works, #19 Broken Embraces, #20 Nine (the musical)
intro (orphans -didn't make group list)
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