This post is my contribution to the Bizarro Blog-a-Thon
I've tried to fight it, oh how I've struggled against it ... but you know what they say: 'the truth will out.'
If Hilary Swank will have me, I'm hers.
Perhaps you've read my many posts about 'Beelzebub' and found yourself muttering "the lady doth protest too much" (sigh) You saw right through me. I am that protestin' lady. I did it too much.
Hilary receives her star. I'll kneel to polish it on every trip to HollywoodI've doused myself in Insolence to write todays' top ten list. If Hilary can't hear my new affection, maybe she can smell it?
Hilary's 10 Greatest Performances
honorable mention: (tie) Boys Don't Cry (1999) & Million Dollar Baby (2004)
You know what they say about Academy Awards. They give Oscars to the right people but for the wrong performances. Good stuff (hey, it's Hilary!) but minor accomplishments in the Swank filmography.
10. The Reaping (2007)
I was nearly hit by a car trying to get a snapshot of the billboard. Her performance in this horror/thriller was even more dangerous.
<--- Hilary is out of this world!
09. The Core (2003)
I'm not sure what research she did to prepare for the role but it worked. She's absolutely believable as an astronaut.
08. Freedom Writers (2007)
In which she showed Edward James Olmos, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Sidney Poitier how teaching gigs should be done. No wonder she has more Oscars than them.
07. The Film I'm Going To Write For Her (2010?)
When I look into Hilary's gorgeous brown peepers I feel like I know her soul. I need to create for her. I didn't want to be too boastful so I put this @ #7 instead of #1. This post is about Hilary not me!
06. The Affair of the Pearl Necklace (∞)
05. Insomnia (2002)
I lose sleep over how great she is in this Alaskan thriller. I hope Pacino was taking notes. I only wish they could edit Stellan Skarsgaard out of the original Norwegian film and let Hilary refilm his scenes. Because he is a terrible actor and Hilary can play a man (see #10). I bet she could learn Norwegian too.
04. The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Ralph Macchio is a tough act to follow but damned if she didn't pull it off.
03. The Gift (2000)
That fugly mullet hairdo... only the bravest of actresses would allow herself to be unattractive onscreen. And that high pitched painfully slow-drawl line reading "I've been thinking bad thoughts." God, it absolutely haunts me still.
02. Beverly Hills 90210
It's probably cheating to include a television show but this show reached its slow boiling peek under her revelatory work as single mother "Carly Reynolds" who dates Ian Whatshisface. I can't remember his name. I saw only Hilary.
You know what they say about Academy Awards. They give Oscars to the right people but for the wrong performances. Good stuff (hey, it's Hilary!) but minor accomplishments in the Swank filmography.
10. The Reaping (2007)
I was nearly hit by a car trying to get a snapshot of the billboard. Her performance in this horror/thriller was even more dangerous.
<--- Hilary is out of this world!09. The Core (2003)
I'm not sure what research she did to prepare for the role but it worked. She's absolutely believable as an astronaut.
08. Freedom Writers (2007)
In which she showed Edward James Olmos, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Sidney Poitier how teaching gigs should be done. No wonder she has more Oscars than them.
07. The Film I'm Going To Write For Her (2010?)
When I look into Hilary's gorgeous brown peepers I feel like I know her soul. I need to create for her. I didn't want to be too boastful so I put this @ #7 instead of #1. This post is about Hilary not me!
06. The Affair of the Pearl Necklace (∞)
05. Insomnia (2002)
I lose sleep over how great she is in this Alaskan thriller. I hope Pacino was taking notes. I only wish they could edit Stellan Skarsgaard out of the original Norwegian film and let Hilary refilm his scenes. Because he is a terrible actor and Hilary can play a man (see #10). I bet she could learn Norwegian too.
04. The Next Karate Kid (1994)
Ralph Macchio is a tough act to follow but damned if she didn't pull it off.
03. The Gift (2000)That fugly mullet hairdo... only the bravest of actresses would allow herself to be unattractive onscreen. And that high pitched painfully slow-drawl line reading "I've been thinking bad thoughts." God, it absolutely haunts me still.
02. Beverly Hills 90210
It's probably cheating to include a television show but this show reached its slow boiling peek under her revelatory work as single mother "Carly Reynolds" who dates Ian Whatshisface. I can't remember his name. I saw only Hilary.
01. P.S. I Love You
Because each new performance from this two time Oscar winner is a cinematic event. In this new film, her Christmas gift to us, Hilary's husband (Gerard Butler --God, she could so do better) dies but leaves her notes to help her move on with her life. December 21st is just four months away. I can't wait.
I'll hold my breath.
"H.S. I Love You"
It's the only thing left to say
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