Monday, September 14, 2009

My Apologies to Vera Farmiga

I dream of celebrity. I don't even know what day it is anymore. I was sick all weekend and sleeping erratically. When I woke up this morning (last night? yesterday afternoon?) I was convinced that I had just been interviewing Vera Farmiga. She looked exactly like Sarah Paulson.

Instead of asking Ms. Farmiga about the her new picture, the Oscar contender Up in the Air -- view trailer -- I kept asking her what I should have for lunch. Did she maybe have the pancake recipe that made Claudette Colbert wealthy in Imitation of Life? If so, could I borrow it? Vera/Sarah became very frustrated that I wasn't interested in her career (but I am. Even though I never write about it!)

"Order the damn BLT" she finally declared with exasperation.

I ignored her and ordered the tuna melt instead.

P.S. Fans of I Heart Huckabees will sadly note that I was not lucid dreaming and therefore could not work Shania Twain and Jude Law into the proceedings once the tuna sandwich came up.
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