Help Wanted

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Recently discovered rough draft for an ad in the back pages of The Verona Beach Herald:

"Nurse position sought - am a highly enthusiastic and expressive candidate. Will treat your charge with great teasing loud smothering adoration until its too late. Due to recent tragic learning experiences on the job I'll not allow the child to ever venture from my sight, not never. Nor to fall in love with no Montagues not never neither. Nor to leave her bedroom ever not never neither.

No references (all deceased)."

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