Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Nine Posters? Nine Nominations? Nein Review!

The Nine embargo is still in place for "reviews" but lifted as far as any other discussion goes: awards and whatnot. I'm curious how there can exist an embargo on discussing a movie (outside of a review embargo which I totally understand) since people discuss movies freely for years before they come out. Free Speech! I'm joking. It's an awards season curiousity but I play along. After all, the game of waiting for something you desperately want can be fun. Think of how you felt about Christmas as a child. The problem stems from the studios making film fans wait way too long. Christmas should come every weekend, you know. Movies are not like gifts. You can't just unwrap them and move to the next and form a big pile. They take 2 hours just to unwrap in the first place. Spread them out!


You know what else is curious? The new posters. The marketing peoples for Nine made the numerically questionable decision to release 4 posters. I'd say why not 9 except the movie itself doesn't really seem to know why it's called Nine. I enjoyed the movie a lot but when you cut out the Nine song, you do sort of mess with the title... since there's only 8 characters. You have to count Guido twice. But without the song... oh, never mind. I'm still smarting from the dumping of that song. I love that song! And damnit, I wanted to hear Sophia Loren sing it.

The first two posters above are fine but I shan't say anything more about the crammed and ugly poster (third from left) that Jose savaged yesterday. He said it all. But this next one...

Huh ????????? (Nine question marks) Only 3 stars are featured on this poster to your left. I keep blinking and staring at it and yet my girl Nicki never appears. This poster is defective!

Seriously, what is that about? In another 58 years people our ages now won't have a clue who Fergie and Kate Hudson are but the movie freaks will be holding centennial parties for Nicole Kidman. It's so obvious. When will the goddess catch a break? I guess we have to wait until 2010 when Rabbit Hole reminds... Crossing my fingers for that at any rate. You never know. It could be another Fur (an effort but one that doesn't work).

I understand that Fergie is a hitmaker, musically speaking, but is she really more bankable for a m-o-v-i-e than Dame Dench, Kidman, or Daniel Day-Lewis. Bizarre. Not to diss Fergie. Her number "Be Italian" is terrific, the 'Cell Block Tango' of this Chicago sibling. Rob Marshall is the babydaddy again. If you haven't inked him down in your Best Director predictions, you should.

Nominations in order of likelihood
  • Cinematography, without question
  • Picture, easy-peasy
  • Director, ditto
  • Costume Design, in Atwood they trust
  • Art Direction, they keep nominating John Myhre for dressing up theater stages (Chicago, Dreamgirls) so why stop now?
  • Editing, Moulin Rouge! and Chicago factored in here. But not Dreamgirls so who knows...
  • Sound Mixing it being a musical and all. Likely
  • Original Song, after that debacle with The Wrestler last year and the "Come What May" situation with Moulin Rouge! back in the day I will never again assume that this category can contain locks. But I hope to see Marion Cotillard perform "Take it All" at the Oscars but not Kate Hudson shimmying to "Cinema Italiano".

    that's 8 nominations and that's where things get trickier...

  • Supporting Actress This would be a slam dunk for Marion Cotillard except that she's campaigning for lead actress. So there's probably room for Penélope Cruz, unless they object to her garbling the very funny lyrics of "A Call From the Vatican"
  • Actress More on Marion later. I need to discuss that specifically and all by its lonesome.
  • Actor The novelty and his reputation might be an irresistable combo. but who knows before the precursors have their say in a race that looks pretty tight for the 4th and 5th spots
  • Adapted Screenplay If they're feeling nostalgic to honor tAnthony Minghella (RIP)
  • Supporting Actress Marion Cotillard if AMPAS rejects her Weinsteined categorization
  • Supporting Actress Judi Dench if they flip their shit for the movie.
More after the holidays. Or maybe during them. You can't get enough of Nine can you? I hope the movie lives up to your dreams.
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