Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I Am Not Alfred Hitchcock


I am not Alfred Hitchcock. I just wanted to clear that up lest you be confused. I know, I know -- I obsess on icy blondes a lot (Pfeiffer. Thurman. Deneuve. etc...) just as the famed auteur did. But I am not, in fact, him. Nor was I Hitchcock in a previous life. I was already alive when he died in 1980. There’s no Audrey Rose situation going on in here.

Reasons why you may have us confused:
We fetishize blonde actresses.
We appear in our own work.
We were raised in religious homes.
We love Fritz Lang and Luis Buñuel
We wear suits to work.
We’ve never won any Oscars.

But beyond that, you see, the similarities end. We’re really nothing alike at all.

Differences
I would never pose with a silly prop. OK, maybe if I had a movie to promote...
He has the shortest speech at the Oscar ceremony on record. When he was given a Thalberg award he just said “thank you” The orchestra would have to play me off.
He liked to terrorize people with their own phobias. I would be more likely to console them after Hitch send them their box of whatever they feared most (mice, snakes, etc...)--the bastard.
My favorite Hitchcock movie is either Psycho, Rear Window, or Notorious (I’m so indecisive). His is Shadow of a Doubt.
He is from England
I am not afraid of heights.
Truth be told, I'm not a big Grace Kelly fan.
He had dogs. I have a cat.
My profile is nowhere near as memorable as Hitchcocks.
Neither is my waist size.
I am (probably) not a genius.

tags: Alfred Hitchcock, movies, cinema, films, Oscars