Tuesday, April 18, 2006

A History Of... Dakota Fanning

It's Tuesday. Time for a new episode of the History series...


Oh unsuspecting reader. I do apologize in advance. First Bunnies and now this? Will the "cute" ever end? I was spurred on by yesterday's request and a strange finding on which web google searches were leading people to this site. OK I'll share: It was a search quote "Dakota Fanning mysteriously dies" I don't know why this would lead people to the Film Experience. I'm frightened that it would. But it did. Google is a strange and endless labyrinth.

Let the history begin...

1994 Hannah Dakota Fanning is born to unsuspecting parents in Conyers, Georgia. No... not --I mean, they knew they were pregnant. That's not what I meant...never mind.

2000 At the age of six, Dakota is unleashed upon the nation's living rooms without parental supervision in no less than six hit TV series. One of the roles is as the young Calista Flockhart in an Ally McBeal episode.

2001 Her next role: The young Ellen Degeneres in the comic's eponymous TV show. In her first major role, wee Dakota steals I am Sam from its intended stars Pfeiffer and Penn. For the sad scenes Dakota tells reporters she thought about her pet goldfish dying. The studio spends a fortune in hush money to prevent the quotes about 'kicking Tatum O'Neal's ass at the Oscars' from emerging. In the end, Dakota settles for a SAG nomination.

2002Dakota plays a young Reese Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.

2003 She throws her first professional tantrum when she is denied the role of a young Colin Farrell in Alexander and a young Jim Caviezel in The Passion of the Christ. "Can't these Hollywood dimwits see my range? I can play everything from the young version of a post-feminist punching bag to the young version of the world's most famous lesbian to the young version of the world's second most ambitious type A blonde in Hollywood!"

To punish Dakota for her outburst, her management places her in Uptown Girls to spend time with fidgety Brittany Murphy.

2005 In her first major blockbuster, the child star steals War of the Worlds from its intended star Tom Cruise. For the frightened scenes Fanning tells no reporters she thought of the nightly visitations from Tom Cruise in a mask 'Xenu' on set, or the relentless Scientology recruitment drive at the craft services table: "Am I stressed?!? Of course I'm stressed you idiots. Elle is hot on my tail and I'm not getting any younger!"

In this year Dakota also turns 11 years-old. Tatum O' Neal and Anna Paquin's Oscar records are safe. Temporarily defeated, the young dynamo shifts her sights to defeating Jodie Foster's 'two Oscars by the time she's 30' record. For her tireless determination (and, perhaps, from blood curdling fear) Barbara Walters names her one of the 10 most intriguing people of the year.

2006 Awkward adolescence be damned, Dakota plans a full out multiplex assault with four new films, commencing with Charlotte's Web in December.


* If you're new to this blog, please give it a good looksie.-- there's more than just the histories.

Previous Histories...
Bunny Rabbits * Sharon Stone * Jodie Foster *Gender Bending * Bald Women * Sarah Jessica Parker * Gay Cowboys * Julianne Moore's Screen Kids * Gyllenhaal

tags: Dakota Fanning, Elle Fanning, Tom Cruise, movies, celebrities, Oscars, gossip, Scientology