Wednesday, November 8, 2006

Hump Day Hottie: Brad Pitt

It's now been 15 years since Brad Pitt tipped his cowboy hat in Thelma & Louise and won the heart of Geena Davis and moviegoers the world over. If you thought him just a pretty boy at the time his two decade golden reign o'er the hearts of moviegoers will seem like a shocking turn of events. If, like me, you saw his talent and not just his abs in that 90s classic... you're saying "told ya so." Most cinematic pretty boys don't last for decades but I always knew that Pitt was a Redford and not an Atkins.

That said, I have been a bad fan this month. I haven't seen Babel yet. The reasons are three.
  1. I am not crazy about the interlocking gruesome accidents motif of the director. Amores Perros I admired but couldn't really love. 21 Grams I outright hated --more pretentious miserabilism I have never seen.
  2. Time permitted only one movie last weekend and Volver was way ahead of the pack.
  3. All the talk of "Brad's Best Film Performance!" isn't a particularly enticing draw because, you see, I think he's great much of the time and I recognize that many others have willfully remained blind to his talents.... or blinded by his other, um, assetts. And have therefore not been paying close enough attention to determine whether or not anything is his best work. For my money, Babel unseen --I'll get to it this weekend, his best work is found in Fight Club and Se7en.


In addition to his underappreciated acting skills, Brad skills at mimicry go mostly unnoticed as well. Watch the endless ways in which he becomes the woman he's dating whilst somehow never courting doubt about his sexuality... unlike, say, every other male star in existence. Brad rose to simultaneous fame with his then girlfriend Juliette Lewis in 1991. While he was giving Geena Davis the ride of her life in Thelma & Louise, Juliette was sucking Robert DeNiro's thumb in the nasty and brutal Cape Fear. The couple was an instant hit, both onscreen and off with magazine covers, tabloid coverage, and Oscar appearances. They worked the rebellious Young Hollywood gritty indie angle together. Shortly after their breakup (93/94ish), Lewis stayed edgy but Pitt went truly Hollywood, moving on to an engagement with Gwyneth Paltrow and clean glamour, with matching white blonde bangs! Next came marriage and that golden California crunchy period with Jennifer Aniston. Since then Brad has morphed into a world traveller / philanthropist with the inimitable Angelina Jolie. I should probably mention that Brad no longer mimics his girls look since he's got a son to play matching hairstyles with.

All of this is a long way of saying that Brad Pitt is a great celebrity and certainly the best possible example of a living breathing metrosexual (however tired/overused the description is). In fact, now that I think of it, he's clearly an actressexual, too --like Warren Beatty only more easily domesticated.

But, I'm celebrating Brad mostly because of the onscreen factor --he also rules the celluloid world. One of my favorite quotes about the man comes from an issue of Vanity Fair devoted to him some years back:
The way the camera toured the perky hillocks of Brigitte Bardot's backside in Contempt, it now strokes Brad Pitt's face.
May that omnisexual camera stroke him until he dies. And he may die of very old age with a career as rich and fondly remembered as the Redfords, Lancasters, and Newmans before him.


Mmmmmm, Brad. Thank you for being such a giver. Female stars do it all the time of course, this parading of their sex appeal. It's something of a requirement for their stardom. But for male stars consider: How many big ones, other than Pitt, undress for major magazines regularly? Now contrast that with the number of female stars. Pretty staggering, right? But not for Brad any insecurity or fears about being ogled. Whether he's lying prone, ass out (nsfw) for famed photographers or just flaunting his autoerotic star quality in any number of photoshoots, he lets it all hang out. He didn't authorize those infamous Playgirl shots (obviously, NSFW) but they're not a big leap from his usual and casual exhibition of his own famed physique.

Previously in Pitt Postings:
Brad in Blue
That VF Cover * Vampire Blog-a-Thon Brad's orgasmic vamp conversion * Fives a Crowd Brangelina in wax * Melissa Wants Angelina Brad's girls in music videos * Zombie fever Pitt & Clooney's horror project * A History of... Angelina Jolie * Brad #25 Top Actors of Aughts *

Previous Hump Day Hotties:
Qi Shu & Chen Chang 3 times is not enough * Jamie Dornan & Asia Argento burning up Versailles * James McAvoy randy king of Scotland * Naomie Harris pretty chameleon * Hot on TV from "Agent Cooper" to "Faith" * Channing Tatum steppin' up and out * Hugh Jackman dancer, mutant, god * Uma Thurman 18 years of hotness. * Cheyenne Jackson Broadway to Hollywood * Season One of HDH Gyllenhaal, Li, Bernal, etc...

Tags: Brad Pitt, movies, Angelina Jolie, film, metrosexual, hunk, Babel, cinema, Jennifer Aniston, Maddox, celebrities, Brangelina, gossip,