It Could Be Worse

I've been trying to dream up some Oscar related articles for y'all but I keep getting distracted by less boring subjects like: my sleeping cat, the dirt under my fingernails, whether or not I should shave my head. Still... a recent box office #1 position for a certain movie we'll call Something Nathaniel Would Never See Even If You Begged Him With Cash In Hand Because He Was Moronic Enough to See 'Date Movie' Last Year reminded me that it could be worse. The Oscar Race could be far less exciting. I mean here are America's vote$ for Best Picture of 2006:

• Cars which is not even as memorable as a highly derivative movie about tap-dancing penguins.
  
• The Da Vinci Code America's favorite mild as milk director Ron Howard and star Tom Hanks + America's favorite topic religion.
  
• Night at the Museum
  
• Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest the most successful commercial of all time. What is it advertising? Its own sequel. At least I think that's what it's doing because it's 150 minutes long and almost nothing really happens.
  
• X-Men: The Last Stand a sequel that pees all over the franchise and characters but nobody cares because it has, like, cool CGI and stuff. Brett Ratner gets yet more credit as a hitmaker despite the fact that this movie woulda made $200+ even if my sleeping cat directed it.
  

What is wrong with people? That's just... It's just. Well I'll take the preachy overdetermined Babel, the dull but meaningful Letters From Iwo Jima, the hit and miss Little Miss Sunshine and the simplistic The Queen. I'll take them huge flaws and all. It could be so much worse. The Academy could actually listen to moviegoers. Then we'd all be in trouble. Saw IV would end up in the running for Best Picture next year.

Epic Movie made more last weekend than The Fountain or Marie Antoinette or Volver or Dave Chappelle's Block Party or The Last King of Scotland made in their entire runs.

Argh. I hate people.

What is wrong with me? Sorry. Where did this horrible mood just come from? My apologies. Carry on.