Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Gifting

Since I am not Irish I thought it only appropriate to appropriate the holiday for my own purposes as most Americans do by wearing something green today and saying silly things like "kiss someone Irish"... or, wait, is that Irish people saying that to get kissed? Either way, a big smooch to all the Irish readers --especially those that are actually reading in Ireland!

I hereby gift the discovery of a four leaf clover to the following people who can certainly use the luck:

Juliette Lewis (left, where the hell is that one role to remind everyone of her considerable screen power?), Kirsten Dunst (Sofia, save her!), Maria Bello (still waiting for overdue Oscar love. And better roles), Ewan McGregor (what's going on there?), Lindsay Lohan (finally out of leggings and a redhead again... can this career be saved?), Adrien Brody (The Pianist is starting to feel like ancient history --where's the dramatic intense follow up?), Meg Ryan (please let The Women be a hit. She has been suffering too long. You know these romantic comedy queens need the public adoration. Imagine Julia Roberts without the mass undulating waves of crowd ardor. It ain't pretty, right?)

And since they'll need major luck to ever win their long awaited Oscars, a huge mutated clover with gold specks to the Academy's abused ex-girlfriends Sigourney Weaver, Miranda Richardson, Michelle Pfeiffer, Joan Allen, Annette Bening and Glenn Close, their rudely dismissed one night stands Kathleen Turner and Angela Bassett, and their current fiance Kate Winslet. Jesus, they have been stringing that last girl along forever. It's like they're never going to set the date.


To the following baby filmmakers I'm gifting pots of gold so that they don't have to wait around for financing to make follow-ups to their amazing debuts or add another gem to their small but interesting filmography.

Fernando Eimbcke (pictured right). I'm eager to see what else he has in him after the charming witty and moving Duck Season. Although in truth I'd also like to paint myself gold and jump in the pot to await him... but that's a story for another blog. *Ahem*
Jonathan Glazer I'm sure that Birth (his second film) didn't line his block with future sponsors, but if I were a wealthy producer I'd be donating for the love of the art, you know. That movie was so misunderstood and he deserves more shots. His first film (Sexy Beast) was also a keeper.
Kimberly Peirce -her follow up to Boys Don't Cry (Stop-Loss) opens next Friday but it was 9 long years in coming. Anything some multi-billionaire can do to rush #3 along would be great. Nine years is too long in between projects so let's throw some gold the way of other fresh talent like Peter Sollett (Raising Victor Vargas), Sarah Polley (Away From Her), and Nicole Holofcener (Walking and Talking, Friends With Money)... because, though Catherine Keener doesn't need the help staying employed, they work so well together and few other filmmakers give her leading roles.

What will St. Patrick's Day --or night at this point-- bring you readers?
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