Tom, Dick or Harry?

one of the 25 greatest musical numbers of all time


Ann Miller isn't picky. In Kiss Me Kate (1953) she's a maid who wouldst marry and she'll take with no qualms any Tom, Dick or Harry... any Harry, Dick or Tom. (Not their real names... that'd be Hortensio, Lucentio and Gremio I think. Movies where actors are playing actors playing roles are so confusing)


If you're not picky, however can you decide?

Harry promises riches "and if thou wouldst attain the upper brackets... marry me." Dick is poor but "if for love unending thou arst pining... marry me" I'm not sure what Tom is promising --he's still "spraying his decaying family tree" er... -- I guess it's class "to give a social lift to thy position ... marry me"


Bianca (Miller) finally tips her hand before the dance break in the middle of the song...

Any Tom, Dick or Harry,
Any Tom, Harry or Dick.

Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick,
Dick, dick, dick,
A dicka dick!

The men sing with her! Just how interested are they in Bianca anyway? And then they launch into what has to be one of the most thrilling tap and clap numbers ever performed.

Still even after Bianca has chosen her man later in the movie (Dick) they're still quite a lovey-dovey quadrangle. It's probably the friendliest love quadrangle in all of the movies. I have to say: Ann probably made the right decision choosing Dick. In the "From This Moment On" sequence very late in the film, Harry reveals himself to be none other than...

Bob Fosse himself! Trying out his signature moves for the first time on film. Ann Miller chose well. She could've ended up a character in All That Jazz and Fosse didn't treat the ladies that well, don'cha know. [see previous All That Jazz review].

Tom, Dick or Harry? A question (and a musical number) for the ages.

Here's a couple videos to enjoy if you're in the mood. To your left, the "Tom, Dick or Harry" number from the movie. To your right, "Bianca" (it starts a little ways in) by Michael Berresse (Lucentio in the 2000 Broadway revival), who I met the other night (thus, this movie being on my mind) and who is one of my favorite stage performers. He's got a role in the new Russell Crowe movie so maybe we'll talk to him again soon for the podcast