Out, Rich and Powerful. Envy Them!

I can't resist a list. I try to resist, I do. Out Magazine just released their list of the 50 most powerful gays in the world. They've judged them on

1. political clout
   
2. cultural resonance
   
3. individual wealth
   
4. personal profile... whatever that means

I don't know why they couldn't have made it a Top 51 so that I could appear. I mean have they forgotten

1. How I campaigned for Meryl Streep's birthday to be a Federal Holiday and for her face to be carved into Mount Rushmore and both things came to pass? [shut up!]
   
2. How I invented* actressexuality and the blogosphere totally uses the word now?
   
3. HA HA HAhaha haha... um, this is not funny. Disqualified!
4. I didn't understand what 'personal profile' meant anyway.
   

Maybe if they had a Top 1,000,001 powerful gays and lesbians list, I'd make that one ??? I'm losing the thread. Oh yes, power. And those who have it. Like many a website that thrives on "page views" Out has made the list hard to navigate so that you have to click on 50 different pages to read it. So I've done the work for you. Here are the ranks useful to our purposes here at the Film Experience i.e. people that are involved in movies and/or narrative television. It's not a list of out actors (like that list I made some time ago) but of the very successful / powerful and mostly offscreen movers and shakers.

• #10 David Geffen, the G in Dreamworks SKG. Remember that hilarious rumor in the 90s that he was married to Keanu Reeves. HA! The internet is so weird sometimes.
  
• #14 Gus Van Sant, Milk delivery man. I hope he gets another shot at Oscar. It's quite an interesting filmography and singular too, despite all the borrowing from Bela Tarr.
  
• #18 Scott Rudin, Oscar Lust in Humanoid Form. See also: Julie & Julia, Doubt, Revolutionary Road, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, Notes on a Scandal, The Queen, The Hours, Closer, Iris...
• #25 Dustin Lance Black, screenwriter/Oscar winner/ridiculously young looking 35 year old. I'm curious as to how he'll follow Milk up (I'm talking features... not MTV telefilms)
• #26 Bryan Lourd & Kevin Huvane, CAA partners. If someone made a movie about CAA it'd probably be as crazy / shady as SD-6 on Alias or possibly the Dollhouse, don't you think?

Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother, Dr. Horrible and with his actor boyfriend David Burtka (who was excellent in Edward Albee's The Play About the Baby some years back Off Broadway). Burtka is from Michigan like myself and one of my best friends from high school even knows him *gag* [/name dropping]. Blah blah blah... In short, if NPH were a movie star, I would probably never stop talking about him. You've been spared!

• #28 Neil Patrick Harris, TV star. I love NPH but mostly because he sings so beautifully and happens to be hilarious. That said, I haven't seen How I Met Your Mother. I can't do laugh track shows anymore. I honestly can't and I have tried. Even the funny ones make me cringe. 30 Rock, Sex & the City and Arrested Development among others have spoiled me forever. I will laugh when I damn well please, thank you very much, TV suits.
  
• #29 Michael Patrick King, Sex & the City svengali
  
• #35 Wanda Sykes. Hilarious diva. Also moonlights as cartoon animals with alarming frequency.
  

Unprolific Jodie: Only three lead roles this entire decade?
Prolific Greg: 1 movie, 6 tv series this decade alone. Writing/producing Green Lantern

• #36 Jodie Foster. I'm a smidge annoyed that the gay media keeps saying she's out because she mentioned her partner Cydney once at an industry function. That's technically "out" but if you adjust for the proportional scale of being a household name and one of the most famous respected celebrities on the planet, Jodie is still a stealth lesbian. I also find it hilarious that the article mentions her Leni Riefenstahl biopic. Like that's ever going to happen. That's becoming as funny / fantastical as every new casting announcement for Flora Plum. It's too bad really that she never gets anything off the ground because I'm confident that both those movies would be way more fascinating than the next thriller she'll inevitably agree to star in next.
  
• #38 Tom Ford, He Who Whispers in Naked Keira's Ear. His debut feature as a writer/director A Single Man starring Colin Firth and Julianne Moore is due this year. But there's always that fashion icon thang for a safety net. What a safety net, huh?
  
• #47 Greg Berlanti TV man. I once hated him (long story but it involved The Broken Hearts Club) I have since learned the error of my ways and am completely addicted to Brothers & Sisters. He's totally gorgeous and talented. So in a sense, yes, I still hate him.
• #49 Simon Halls and Stephen Huvane of PMK/HBH. Their PR firm represents Jennifer Aniston, Julianne Moore, Uma Thurman, Anne Hathaway and Neil Patrick Harris. (4 out of 5 ain't bad!)
  

Now that I'm done sharing this information I've realized I have no idea what these lists are for. To make mere civilians jealous?

* Technically speaking George Cukor invented it. Or maybe Warren Beatty. But they didn't name it, did they?!