20:07 (Take the Pfeiffer Bowling. Take Her Bowling)

screenshots from the 20th minute and 7th second of a movie
I can't guarantee the same results at home (different players/timing) I use a VLC

When I put Grease 2 into the computer I was hoping against hope that "Cool Rider", the movie's sole moment of gourmet kitsch would be @ the 20 minute mark. But alas like Michelle Pfeiffer's career, Grease 2 refuses to cooperate with my wishes. So instead we get Adrian Zmed's rather desperate Travolta-proxy. He's singing about scoring here but the movie throws one gutterball after another.

C'mon everybody gather round
And I'm going to show you how to knock 'em down
When I'm on the ball I'm the number one
And I'm going to show you how it's done.

Regardless, it's fun to watch in the way many bad movies are. Aside from "Cool Rider" I get a huge kick out of the imagined mimesis of Pfeiffer's Stephanie. It's as if she's showing us that it's OK to be completely over this movie even if you're in it! Notice that in the still above she's the only one looking away from the action. Stephanie Zinone, fond of the eyeroll, sideways glance, dark sunglasses and gum-chomping, is over it. In Pfeiffer's first leading role 25 years ago (!) she's already too good for her own movies, too cool for school.


I wish that Grease 2 wasn't such an unwitting Cassandra but this qualitative contrast happens over and over again in the star's filmography and shows no signs of abating. Most of the time I am content to thank the cinematic gods that Pfeiffer exists but sometimes I am an ungrateful disciple. Today is one of those days. By most measures (if you ignore the never- going-to-be-released I Could Never Be Your Woman) Pfeiffer's '07 comeback was a blazing success: Hairspray is her third biggest hit ever (following Batman Returns and What Lies Beneath) and she got numerous "best in show" reviews for Stardust. Though Pfeiffer herself expresses no interest in winning an Oscar, her fans deserve to see her with one and her talent warrants it. Now would've been an ideal time to strike out with a prestige dramatic project with an A list director. So why, pray tell, is La Pfeiffer going to make a movie with an unproven director and studio that co-stars Ashton Kutcher [src and src] just as people are rediscovering her? I'm beginning to think that Pfeiffer has career dysmorphia: perhaps she looks in the mirror and sees a Bullock when she's actually a Streep, you know?

I've followed her career closely and you rarely read anything about her being difficult to work with so where are the directors as talented in their fields as Pfeiffer is in hers? Where are the great films? The last time she worked with an "important" director was in the early nineties with back to back Martin Scorsese (Age of Innocence) and Mike Nichols (Wolf) projects. I can't wrap my head around her decision-making since then. A drama with Ashton Kutcher? Unless Michelle Pfeiffer is playing Demi Moore (hee. wouldn't that be a hoot? Give her an Oscar for the mimicry!) ...what's the point?

Ashton's dream project: Indecent Proposal 2: MILF Addiction

But we should stay optimistic. Perhaps this proposed Personal Effects movie will score, marking a new writer/director to watch. Hell, even if it's a gutterball, Pfeiffer herself will still throw a spare.