Nailing Channing Tatum

Today's Must Read: Joe Reid spits out a brilliant piece on the simple-minded Channing Tatum vehicle Fighting over at Low Resolution. His thesis:

Fighting is a movie about hardcore gay sex. With mentally retarded people.

Heh. So wrong and true. I started using this trailer screencap to your top left as my desktop background (I switch it up bi-weekly) primarily because I enjoy the, um, ideas that come up when I look at it. Shut up! I can't help myself when it comes to the Tatum. I seriously can't.

Speaking of Tatum. Next up is a small bit in Public Enemies and after that, in his third of three '09 films, comes the role of "Duke" in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. The G.I. Joe trailer is stoopid with bad CGI but normally I'd have to see it anyway on account of my helplessness in the face of the face of...

But, lo, a silver lining. Since everyone in G.I. Joe seems mummified by their costuming to the point of unrecognizable, and even the marketing suggests we shouldn't care who is inside each costume*, maybe this is my way out? Surely if I can't tell that it's The Tatum inside the rubber costumes (what are those costumes made out of anyway?), I can purge my self-destructive desire to see every frame of him his movies.

Anyway, read Joe's post. In fact, read it over and over again until 105 minutes have passed. I guarantee you'll have more fun than you will at the movie itself. The only enjoyable actualmoviething you'll miss out on is Altagracia Guzman's bossy Latino grandma act but you can see her do that with greater detail, comedy and pathos in Raising Victor Vargas which is 2,069 times better than Fighting anyway.

Altagracia Guzman gives Tatum her best right hook at the premiere of Fighting

I've been urging people to see Raising Victor Vargas for years now. People still give me blank looks when I mention it. Will no one listen? Rent it.

*Question: Why hire name actors who are expensive when you're just going to bury them in CGI, body suits, and masks?
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