Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Longest 'Best Picture' Titles

tues top ten: for the list maker in me and the list lover in you
UPDATE: oops. LotR was messed up. Fixed below.

Jonathan's fun movie facts post led me to this indirectly. But on a dull train ride last week I whipped up this absolutely crucial list. Your life isn't complete without knowing the answer to the following question:

...What Are the Ten Longest Titles of Best Picture Nominees?

10. It's a six-way tie for 10th place: The wordy names being One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Love is a Many-Splendored Thing (1955), Meredith Wilson's The Music Man (1962). Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966), Seven Brides For Seven Brothers (1954) and Around the World in Eighty Days (1956) --Perhaps we should just hand 10th place to 80 Days since it's the most long winded of these six films, clocking in at 3 hours. Hey, it takes a long time to shove in all those celebrity cameos, people. The Player was an hour faster with the same task but Michael Anderson is no Robert Altman.

09. The Treasure of the Sierra Madre (1948)
I've never seen this film. In my defense there's not an actress in it (well not one with more than a walk-on from the looks of the cast list) and since I'm first and foremost driven by actressing... Well, that's my excuse. Side note: While attending that junket for Elegy last week Dennis Hopper listed this as one of the five best/most important movies ever. He was caught off guard by the question and answering on the fly but still... that's high praise from a man who has been in classics ranging from Rebel Without a Cause and Easy Rider to Blue Velvet.

08. Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind (2004) Oh, wait. Riiiiight. (sigh) the Oscars suck.

08. I am a Fugitive From a Chain Gang (1932) The tag line of this drama about a wrongly imprisoned man is even a mouthful "Six sticks of dynamite that blasted his way to freedom... and awoke America's conscience!"


07. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
By now you've probably read that Paul Newman, our Butch, has limited time left here on earth. That fills me with such sadness... just as I have been digging back into his filmography. What an actor and what a star he's been for multiple decades. Few people ever have had such a long and deserved run.

---> Elijah Wood has seen too much. He is terrified to watch all of the Rings movies back to back.

06 and 05 The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002), and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003 --see previous post) take these spots. I bet you thought they'd come in first. I know I did when I got curious about title length. Incidentally, Return... is also one of the very longest Oscar winners at 201 minutes. I believe ---someone correct me if I'm wrong -- that it's the 4th longest Best Picture ever. Only Gone With the Wind, Lawrence of Arabia and Ben-Hur have numbed more asses. The last Rings film is even one minute longer than The Godfather Part II, currently the fifth longest sit.

03 (tie)
The Russians Are Coming The Russians Are Coming (1966)
I didn't realize this was a comedy until I was writing up this post. No matter how many films I see, huge gaps remain. Has anyone reading seen this? No on speaks of it. So if you have, do.
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)
Tim Robey of the Daily Telegraph is like a one man army proselytizing this film's greatness. He even convinced Nick to raise his letter grade considerably. That's persuasion. Perhaps I too should give it another spin. I did crazy enjoy Paul Bettany the first time through and liked the movie as a whole. As for the title... I realize it's lifted from the novels but I think it's awkward at best and unintentionally funny at worst.


02 The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) oops. I had this one too low. Perhaps I was appreciating its brevity (length) in the face of Return of the King

01 Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Not only does this classic comedy have the longest title ever from a best picture nominee, it has one of the best period. Ever. Don'cha think?

I can do without most ":" subtitle situations... but wouldn't it be great if more titles were this creative, funny and movie-descriptive? Remember when that Nicolas Cage romantic comedy was called Cop Gives Waitress 2 Million Dollar Tip which was a fun "ripped from the tabloids" descriptive title and then it became the utterly generic sounding It Could Happen to You, a title which could fit only hmmm two hundred thousand other movies with ease. zzz.

So, here's to short movies with long titles like Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb. It's easy to sit through them and it's fun to say their names aloud.
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