With the gymnastics portion of the Olympics completed I've started to lose interest. But as the games wind down I've been wondering: Will any of the Olympians get TV or movie gigs to go with this new rush of fame?Some of you will be too young to remember the 1984 Olympics but basically what happened was that Russia didn't show (we traded Cold War based boycotts in '80 & '84) and the USA, without that formidable competition, were golden. America went even crazier than usual for the medalists. Mary Lou Retton became an instant household name and at least one of the 84 Olympians got a movie built up around him the way every standup comic eventually gets a sitcom named after themselves. That lucky gymnast was Mitch Gaylord (left) the "perfect 10" gymnast. He was beloved by everyone for a moment (especially everyone who beloves a little beefcake). Mitch's movie was called American Anthem. Remember that one?
It's a Bad Movie People Love. Janet Jones (his co-star aka Mrs. Wayne Gretzky) often looks like she's auditioning for Showgirls rather than doing floor routines and Mitch is content to just, well, be Mitch. He stares at other gymasts doing routines a lot. The camera ogles his musculature when it's offered up. There are worse things movies can do.
Gaylord starred in a few more cheapie movies, also torso focused, and now he hawks fitness products. None of America's subsequent gymnast champs have had movies built up around them that I can recall. But when I was watching diving events the other night I suddenly was obsessed with imagining a movie wherein Jamie Bell interprets Chris Colwill.
You can see it too, right? And no, it's not because that'd put Jamie in positions like this.
This isn't that kind of blog! (what. shut up!)
We might play more co-ed casting games when the Olympics wrap in a couple of days (Beijing 2008: The Movie! coming soon) but today let's keep it in that Gaylord realm and skip real actors altogether (Jamie Bell fantasies excepted of course). Which hunky athletes should have a quickie bad movie starring him or herself rushed into production? This is a random sampling. There's so many Olympians to choose from.
And I wonder. Would Phelps Phans rush to see a lazily scripted flick starring the super fast swimmer... or maybe the whole men's swim team?
It could be an On the Town type of three men lady-hunting comedy without the showtunes --- more of an At the Pool thing.
Would anyone pay to see that?*
