Places Willem Dafoe's Ass Has Been
- Between Charlotte Gainsbourg's thighs
(His thrusting seems to have woken evil naked tree spirits) - snugly encased in Green Goblin gear
- on stage with the Wooster Group
- Between Madonna's thighs
(His thrusting did not wake any latent acting skill) - In bed with yellow fever on the set of Platoon
- In Prada
- Out of frame in The Life Aquatic
(Wes Anderson's head-on horizontal tableaus allow for no backsides) - In New York City
- Between Mary Magdalene's thighs
(albeit only theoretically offscreen in the dream sequence way. For the Religious Right the new Von Trier movie will be the least of Dafoe's offenses) - In Italy and Tunisia
- In Wisconsin
- Inside tuxedos at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion and the Shrine Auditorium
- Directly behind Jude Law's new "bio-port"
(this scene is not about what they're pretending it's about) - In Hollywood
- In various yoga positions
- Between Asia Argento's thighs.
(A distinction held by many silver screen asses)
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