Orlando Bloom NOT Beaten To Death By GoGo Yubari

Orlando Bloom, once beloved for his elvish acrobatics in The Lord of the Rings has been a favorite online punching bag since about the days of Troy (I still maintain he played that role correctly and honestly... which is why people hated him in the movie and thereafter, poor guy). But in Japan he's not being beaten up. He's been handed truckloads of paper for shilling hair gel "Uno". He started doing this last year but if it's news to me, it's news to some of you.


In the first short commercial below he escapes from bad guys with lame disguises involving a fake moustache and lots of hair gel. Uno is apparently as good a disguise as Clark Kent's 'you can't tell I'm Superman' nerd glasses.

"Hi-iiiiii"

In the second very long commercial (geez, I'd hate to watch TV in Japan) he romances Chiaki Kuriyama better known as GoGo "you call that begging?" Yubari from Kill Bill.



Miraculously Orlando survives! She doesn't swing a giant mace at him, doesn't dart him, doesn't gut him when he makes a pass. Nothing. Doesn't even make him beg for it.


GoGo has totally lost her edge!
*